HAVE SOME LAUGHS WITH FORMER PARKS AND REC ACTOR, JENNY
SLATE.
SLATE. >> SPEAKING OF LAUGHS, WE HAVE A
SPECIAL GUEST, WOKE UP EARLY,
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, SETH
MYERS.
MYERS. >> GOOD MORNING, EVERYONE.
HELLO.
HELLO. >> WOW, I DON’T THINK I’M USED
TO SEEING YOU CASUAL.
>> THANK YOU.
AND MY WIFE DID NOT LIKE THIS
SWEATER THIS MORNING.
>> WHY?
>> WHY? >> THANK YOU, I LIKE --
>> IS IT CASHMERE, I TOUCHED IT.
I DON’T KNOW IF THAT’S SOMETHING
I’M NOT ALLOWED TO DO, BUT IT’S
VERY SMOOTH.
VERY SMOOTH. >> AND YET SHE GAVE ME ONE OF
THOSE LOOKS THIS MORNING.
>> WHAT WOULD SHE RATHER?
>> I DON’T KNOW.
THAT’S THE THING, SHE’S
INSCRUTABLE.
INSCRUTABLE. >> WE HAVE A TRADITION HERE.
>> DID YOU SAY INSCRUTABLE.
>> I DID.
>> I DID. >> YOU BLEW MY MIND.
>> ADD YOU TO THE WALL OF FAME.
>> ADD YOU TO THE SELFIE WALL.
>> IT’S FUNNY BECAUSE AS A WIFE
I TOO WOULD CRITIQUE AN OUTFIT
BUT OFFER NO POSSIBLE SUGGESTION
SGLS
SGLS S.
S. >> NOT A WAY OUT.
>> WE’LL TALK MORE ABOUT THIS,
YOU HAVE A GREAT NEW NETFLIX
SPECIAL.
SPECIAL. >> THAT’S RIGHT.
>> AND A LOT OF FOLKS FIND THAT
HARD TO BELIEVE, THIS IS YOUR
FIRST ONE.
FIRST ONE. >> IT’S MY FIRST ONE.
>> WE’LL TALK ABOUT THAT.
>> THANK YOU.
>> WE ALSO HAVE HIM HERE BECAUSE
TODAY MARKS ONE YEAR FROM 2020.
>> ONE YEAR FROM THE ELECTION,
HOW ABOUT THAT GUYS.
>> IT’S ELECTION DAY HERE AND
ALL ACROSS THE COUNTRY.
>> OH, MAN.
>> STILL 8 DEMOCRATIC PRIMARY
DEBATES LEFT.
DEBATES LEFT. >> ONLY EIGHT?
>> WOW COHOSTING "THE WASHINGTON
POST" LATER THIS MONTH.
YOU DO A LOT OF POLITICS ON YOUR
SHOW.
SHOW. >> WE DO.
>> WE DO. IT’S AN INTERESTING TIME TO HAVE
A LATE NIGHT SHOW BECAUSE I FEEL
THE AUDIENCE IS REALLY ENGAGED
WITH IT.
WITH IT. THEY LIKE TO TALK ABOUT IT.
THEY LIKE TO HEAR ABOUT IT, AND
I THINK THEY APPRECIATE ANYTIME
YOU CAN LAY IT OUT IN A WAY THAT
HAS JOKES, MAKES IT GO DOWN A
LITTLE BIT EASIER.
>> MORE DIGESTIBLE.
>> I REMEMBER WHEN THINGS
HAPPENED IN, AND PEOPLE DON’T
UNDERSTAND IT, THEY’LL GO TO THE
LATE NIGHT SHOWS, YOUR SHOW,
"THE DAILY SHOW" TO MAKE IT
CLEAR OR PALPABLE.
I THINK PEOPLE HAVE A THIRST FOR
IT.
IT. >> I THINK WE’RE ALL, EVERYONE
YOU MENTIONED ARE GOOD SECONDARY
NEWS SOURCINGSES.
NEWS SOURCINGSES. YOU TRY TO GET IT FROM THE NEWS
FIRST.
FIRST. THAT’S WHERE WE’RE GETTING IT.
>> PEOPLE DO SEE YOU GUYS AS
THEIR PRIMARY NEWS SOURCE.
DO YOU FEEL A CERTAIN
RESPONSIBILITY.
RESPONSIBILITY. >> WE DO FEEL A RESPONSIBILITY
TO GET THE FACTS RIGHT, AND TO
TRY TO LAY IT OUT IN A WAY THAT
CAN MAKE IT, YOU KNOW, FOR
PEOPLE WHO AREN’T MAYBE, YOU
KNOW, FULLY ENGAGED IN STORIES
THAT WE’RE TALKING ABOUT.
AND YEAH, WE THINK FAIR MEANS,
TO BE HONEST AND TO GET THE
FACTS RIGHT.
FACTS RIGHT. WE TRY TO DO THAT.
>> SPEAKING OF ELECTION DAY, I’M
LATE ON THIS ONE.
THERE WAS ANOTHER VOTE ON
"DANCING WITH THE STARS"
APPARENTLY FORMER PRESS
SECRETARY SCENE SPICER GAINING
ENOUGH VOTES TO AVOID
ELIMINATION.
ELIMINATION. >> THAT’S A PROFESSIONAL DANCER.
>> A SHE’S SURPRISED.
IF YOU HAVEN’T BEEN WATCHING IT,
APPARENTLY THROUGHOUT HIS TIME
ON THE SHOW, HE HAS RECEIVED LOW
SCORES FROM ALL OF THE JUDGES
BUT HE CONTINUES TO RECEIVE
SUPPORT FROM THE PUBLIC.
>> BECAUSE THE PRESIDENT KEEPS
TWEETING OUT VOTE FOR SCENE
SPICER.
SPICER. HE DID IT YESTERDAY.
HE SAID VOTE FOR SCENE SPICER ON
"DANCING WITH THE STARS" HE’S A
GREAT AND VERY LOYAL GUY WHO IS
WORKING VERY HARD.
>> I HAVE CAUGHT A FEW CLIPS.
>> HOW IS HE?
>> WHATEVER YOUR POLITICS, AND I
KNOW SCENEEAN, BUT HE’S A BAD
DANCER.
DANCER. >> BIPARTISAN POSITION.
>> THE COSTUMES THEY PUT HIM IN
ARE MEANT OBVIOUSLY TO HUMILIATE
HIM EVERY STEP OF THE WAY.
>> THAT’S THE THING, WHEN YOU
TRY TO TELL PEOPLE HOW TO VOTE,
WE’RE GOING TO VOTE FOR HIM.
APPARENTLY LAST NIGHT, THE HEAD
JUDGE, LEN GOODMAN SHARED AN
HONEST REACTION.
HONEST REACTION. LISTEN TO THIS.
>> WELL, WE KEEP THROWING YOU
OFF THE BOAT, AND THE VIEWERS
KEEP THROWING A LIFE PRESERVER.
>> THERE YOU GO.
>> WE’LL SEE WHAT HAPPENS.
>> HE’LL PROBABLY BE THERE UNTIL
THE FINALS.
THE FINALS. >> HAVE YOU SEEN HIM DANCE AT
ALL, SETH?
ALL, SETH? >> NO.
>> NO. >> THAT’S THE THING.
>> I THINK I’M OVER IT.
>> HERE’S WHAT’S INTERESTING.
>> THERE’S NOT A HOLE IN MY LIFE
THAT I NEED FILLED.
>> IF YOU DON’T WANT TO TALK
ABOUT POLITICS, IN YOUR NEW
NETFLIX SPECIAL, WHICH I DON’T
KNOW HOW YOU GOT NETFLIX TO
ACTUALLY DO THIS, A SKIP
POLITICS BUTTON.
POLITICS BUTTON. >> WHEN IT GETS TO THE SECTION
ABOUT POLITICS, I LAY OUT AN
OPTION FOR THE VIEWERS WHERE
THEY -- AND I HAVE TO THANK
NETFLIX AND THEIR HARD WORKING
ENGINEERS WHO BUILT THE SKIP
POLITICS BUTTON THAT YOU CAN
JUMP AHEAD IN THE SPECIAL TO
WHEN I STOP TALKING ABOUT.
>> DO YOU JUST JUMP AHEAD.
>> THERE’S A PAYOFF TO IT.
>> WHY DID YOU FEEL COMPELLED?
>> YOU’LL SEE IT, AND YOU’LL SEE
THAT REALLY IT SEEMS LIKE I’M
TALKING ABOUT A SERIOUS OPTION
FOR PEOPLE, BUT REALLY, THE
WHOLE THING MIGHT BE A JOKE.
>> BY THE WAY, THE SPECIAL’S
NAME IS "LOBBY BABY."
>> IT IS CALLED "LOBBY BABY."
>> LOOK AT THE PICTURE.
>> THOSE ARE MY BOYS.
>> YOU HAVE TWO SONS.
>> MY BABY AXEL.
>> THERE YOU GO.
>> OKAY.
>> OKAY. THE START OF A GOOD JOKE.
>> I WAS GOING TO EXPLAIN IT,
BUT THAT REALLY LAID IT OUT.
>> HE WAS BORN IN THE LOBBY OF
THE APARTMENT BUILDING BECAUSE
HE CAME REALLY FAST.
>> WHICH ONE WAS BORN IN THE
LOBBY.
LOBBY. >> THE LITTLE ONE.
>> HOW DOES A BABY COME THAT
FAST, I’M THINKING WHEN I GAVE
BIRTH TO MY SON, IT WAS HOURS OF
EXCRUCIATING PAIN.
EXCRUCIATING PAIN. >> I CAN ANSWER THAT QUESTION
BUT I STILL DON’T UNDERSTAND HOW
ANY OF IT REALLY WORKS.
THERE’S A BIRTH CANAL.
NO, WELL, OUR FIRST ONE CAME
VERY FAST, ALMOST BORN IN THE
BACKSEAT OF AN UBER.
I WILL SAY WATCHING A BABY GET
BORN IN THE LOBBY OF YOUR
APARTMENT BUILDING, THE ONLY
THING, I’M SO HAPPY WITH THE
SECOND ONE BECAUSE THEY ALL LOOK
WRONG, YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN, AND
WHEN THE FIRST ONE WAS BORN, I
SAW IT HAPPENING, AND I WAS LIKE
THIS IS OBVIOUSLY SOMETHING
TERRIBLE THAT’S HAPPENING, AND
THE DOCTORS ARE LIKE, THIS IS
TOTALLY NORMAL, HAVING BEEN WITH
MEDICAL PROFESSIONALS THE FIRST
TIME, IF IT WAS THE FIRST ONE, I
DON’T THINK ANY OF US ARE GOING
TO MAKE IT.
>> SO WAS THE DOORMAN THE GOD
FATHER?
FATHER? >> OUR DOORMAN, WE’RE VERY LUCKY
TO HAVE TWO DOORMEN ON DUTY, AND
WE PAY FOR BOTH OF THEIR
THERAPIES.
THERAPIES. >> WE HAVE A LITTLE SHOT HERE.
LET’S TAKE A LISTEN.
>> SO MY WIFE GOES DOWN AND SHE
LIES ON HER BACK IN THE LOBBY
AND I CANNOT STRESS TO YOU HOW
QUICKLY SHE GAVE BIRTH TO OUR
SON.
SON. I WAS ON THE PHONE WITH 911, AND
THIS WAS THE EXTENT OF MY
CONVERSATION WITH 911, WE’RE
ABOUT TO HAVE A BABY.
WE’RE HAVING A BABY.
WE HAD A BABY.
AND LET ME TELL YOU, IT IS VERY
STRANGE TO BE ON A 911 CALL THAT
ENDS WITH THE OPERATOR SAYING
CONGRATULATIONS.
CONGRATULATIONS. >> DID YOU ENJOY IT, DOING THE
SPECIAL?
SPECIAL? >> YEAH, IT WAS A REALLY FUN
THING.
THING. IT WAS VERY ENJOYABLE.
IT IS A VERY MUCH A DEPARTURE
FROM WHAT I DO EVERY NIGHT ON
"LATE NIGHT" AND IT’S A LOT OF
TALKING ABOUT THE PEOPLE THAT
ARE NEAREST AND DEAREST TO ME,
OFTEN AT THEIR EXPENSE.
THEY ARE OKAY WITH IT, AND I’M
LUCKY TO HAVE PEOPLE WHO KEEP
GENERATED COMMENT -- CONTENT.
I GENERATE THE COMMENTS, THEY
GENERATE THE CONTENT.
>> IF YOU HAVE A THIRD CHILD,
MAYBE STAY IN THE APARTMENT, GET
A DUE LAOULA.
>> THERE’S A WEB SITE CALLED MAN
REPELLANT, THEY’RE ADVOCATING
FOR MAKING FRIENDS WITH SOMEONE
IN THE OFFICE BATHROOM.
>> IN THE BATHROOM.
THE WRITER STARTED A NEW JOB.
>> THIS IS A TERRIBLE IDEA.
>> HE STARTED A CONVERSATION
WITH COLLEAGUES IN THE BATHROOM,
EVENTUALLY EVERYONE STARTED TO
KNOW WHO SHE WAS.
>> GIRLS BATHROOMS AND MEN’S
BATHROOMS ARE TOTALLY DIFFERENT,
WE PUT ON OUR LIPSTICK.
YOU BOND.
YOU BOND. IT’S A CHANCE TO TALK.
>> WHAT ARE THE RULES IN THE
MEN’S ROOM.
MEN’S ROOM. >> I DON’T WANT TO MAKE ANY NEW
FRIENDS.
FRIENDS. I NEVER WALK INTO THE BATHROOM
LIKE I HOPE I WALK OUT OF HERE
WITH ONE MORE FRIEND.
>> NO LIKE NICE SHOES.
>> NO.
>> NO. I FEEL LIKE THAT’S WHERE WE
CONNECT.
CONNECT. >> GOOD FOR YOU.
>> YOU KNOW ME, I MAKE FRIENDS
IN RANDOM PLACES.
>> I DON’T KNOW YOU IN THE
BATHROOM.
BATHROOM. >> THEN AFTER YOU’VE KIND OF
CONNECTED YOU GO BACK IN THE
HALLWAY, YOU SEE THEM AGAIN.
>> I THINK IT’S A THING.
>> I DIDN’T KNOW GUYS DON’T EVEN
COMMUNICATE IN THE BATHROOM.
>> WHEN I SEE SOMEONE I SAW IN
THE OFFICE BATHROOM, MAKE AS
LITTLE EYE CONTACT AS IF WE
MURDERED SOMEONE TOGETHER.
>> ABSOLUTELY.
>> ABSOLUTELY. ABSOLUTELY.
ABSOLUTELY. >> LAST QUESTION, DO YOU EVER
WONDER HOW TO POLITELY END A
CONVERSATION, WE HAVE THE
HOLIDAY SEASON COMING UP, YOU’RE
GOING TO A COCKTAIL PARTY,
TALKING TO SOMEBODY, YOU’RE
TIRED OF TALKING TO THEM, HOW DO
YOU GET OUT OF IT.
>> THIS IS PROBLEMATIC, BECAUSE
I FINISH MY DRINK AND OVER THE
COURSE OF THE EVENING, BASED ON
THE NUMBER I HAVE TO END.
>> THAT’S GENIUS, ACTUALLY.
>> IT’S NOT.
IF YOU HAVE A FULL NOG, YOU
KNOW, THAT’S HISTORICALLY WHAT I
HAVE DONE.
HAVE DONE. >> I’M BAD AT IT.
I’M NOT VERY GOOD AT CHITCHAT,
AFTER THE FIRST COUPLE OF
MINUTES OF HOW ARE THE KIDS, I’M
LIKE, MM-HMM.
LIKE, MM-HMM. SO LIKE I’M JUST A NODDER, AND I
DON’T KNOW WHAT TO DO, AND I
DON’T KNOW HOW TO GET OUT OF THE
SITUATION.
SITUATION. >> WE MIGHT ALL SEE EACH OTHER.
THERE’S PROBABLY GOING TO BE AN
NBC HOLIDAY PARTY.
LET’S THE FIVE OF US AGREE RIGHT
NOW, I THINK WE SHOULD ALL JUST
AGREE THAT WHEN WE’RE TALKING TO
EACH OTHER, ANY ONE OF US, WE
SHOULD HAVE A SAFE WORD.
WHAT’S THE SAFE WORD.
LET’S JUST SAY IT’S, I DON’T
KNOW, MISTLETOE, ONE OF YOU GOES
MISTLETOE, YOU’RE DONE.
>> LIFE HACKER SAYS YOU SHOULD
INVITE THE PERSON TO LUNCH.
I THINK THIS IS THE WORST IDEA
POSSIBLE.
POSSIBLE. >> OR JUST BE LIKE LET’S GET A
SANDWICH IN THE BATHROOM.
>> EXACTLY.
>> EXACTLY. LET’S GRAB LUNCH OR COFFEE
SOMETIME, THEN YOU HAVE TO GO TO
LUNCH WITH THAT PERSON.
>> I DON’T THINK YOU HAVE TO
FOLLOW UP ON IT.
>> IF YOU INVITE THEM TO LUNCH,
THEY’RE GOING TO FOLLOW UP.
>> YOU THINK SO?
>> ABSOLUTELY.
>> ABSOLUTELY. >> MAYBE THEY’RE HAVING AS
MISERABLE TIME IN THE
CONVERSATION AS YOU ARE.
>> I DON’T THINK SO.
NO, I JUST BASICALLY SAY, OH,
IT’S FINE, BUT I GOT TO GO
MINGLE, AND I JUST WALK AWAY.
>> YOU’RE JUST VERY HONEST.
>> IT’S HONEST.
>> SETH, THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR
BEING HERE.
BEING HERE. >> THANKS, GUYS.