myths are not stories that are untrue
rather they are tales that don't fit
neatly into the historical record which
serve as a foundation to a culture in
the beginning when all the world was
made there were many stories about many
different things but they were all owned
by the sky god Niamh
then one day the spider Anansi climbed
his silken web to the sky to ask me ami
if he could buy all the stories of the
world some say he did this so the world
could be a more interesting place filled
with stories as well as life while
others say he did this so he could make
all the stories about him either way the
sky God said no but then he reconsidered
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me ami made an ancien offer if a Nancy
could bring him the three most dangerous
beasts in the world a Python a tiger and
a jar full of Hornets then he would give
Anansi the stories so undeterred a Nancy
left and began to scheme about how he
might accomplish these things first he
went to the home of the Python and when
he was right outside began to speak very
loudly he pretended to have a debate
with his wife about how long the Python
really was and when the Python slithered
out of its house to ask an on see what
all the racket was about he told him
that his wife had said that there was no
way that the Python could possibly be as
long as the trunk of a palm tree they
found and when Anansie showed him the
palm trunk the Python proud of his great
length assured Anansi he was much longer
than that puny stick he brought and a
Nancy agreed with him and told him this
was the very thing he'd been saying to
his wife this entire time but to
convince her he would have to make sure
so a Nancy told the Python to stretch
himself all the way out and lay next to
the palm the Python tried and tried but
every time before he could get all the
way stretched out some part of him would
always start to coil up so Anansi
offered a simple solution he said oh wow
yeah hew coiling up is a bit of a pickle
you know I have an idea why don't you
let me tie you to part of this poem and
then if any of you you know hang
past it we'll know for sure if you are
longer the Python readily agreed to this
completely sensible solution so a Nancy
tied him up and promptly brought him to
the sky God BAM
first beast in the bag but he still had
two other creatures to capture so next
he went to the lair of the tiger and
late at night dug a great pit then
covered it with leaves the next day when
the tiger left his home he fell into the
pit and cried out for help then Anansi
conveniently appeared at the pits edge
and offered to lower him down his silk
the tiger gratefully agreed but as the
tiger began to climb the silk stuck to
him and each time he pulled himself up
it would further wrap around his body so
by the time he was at the top he was
wrapped almost entirely in spider silk
he then asked a non-si to free him but
instead announced he just brought him
straight to the sky god catching two for
two but there was one last task to
complete capturing the Hornets he
thought and thought on this problem it
would be much more difficult than the
other two because he needed to trick
many creatures at once and not just a
single creature like he done in the past
but a stroke of inspiration came to him
first he grabbed a great leaf filled it
with water and poured it on himself next
he then fill belief again and poured the
water on the hornets nest they came out
in a fury ready to sting him to death
when he said whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa
whoa whoa there little fellas uh it's
been definitely raining as you can see
due to the fact that I too am soaking
wet and in no way did this to myself and
I think it's going to actually rain
again so if you don't want to you know
get your little wings wet I suggest
flying into this warm little jar I've
prepared and you can then be safe from
the oncoming uh rain and so they did
moved by this clearly logical plan they
flew inside the jar three-for-three
hat-trick achievement unlocked
thus announced his task complete he
received his payment from the sky god
and became the lord of stories and
people came from all over to ask for his
wisdom and advice but one day a group of
men were very rude to him so he decided
to punish all humankind by hiding his
wisdom from them he gathered all the
knowledge he had and
placed it into a great pot this he
carefully sealed and decided he would
hide it somewhere where no human could
ever reach but Anansi had a son who was
quite clever like his old spider-man
he could see his father was up to
something so he observed Anansi closely
and followed him when the next night he
snuck out of the house with a great pot
he followed his father through the
jungle and watched as he tied the pot
around his neck and started to climb a
great tall tree but with the huge pot in
front of him the climb was nearly
impossible even for a Nancy again and
again he tried but no matter how much he
strained the pot would get in the way
and he would slide back down the tree at
last unable to contain himself any
longer his son shouted up father why
don't you hang the pot behind you and a
Nancy startled by this cry out exclaimed
who huh you know I thought I put all the
world's wisdom in this little pot
doohickey thing here but clearly my boy
uh you possess even more than perhaps
dare I say uh I do and so he tossed the
useless pot to the ground where it
shattered and let the wisdom out into
all of the world now with the whole
world having access to wisdom Anansi
became poor and lived in a meager Hut
but nearby there lived a very rich man
named nothing nothing lived in a great
palace and you know lacked for nothing
except a wife so a Nancy and he decided
one day that they would go to a
neighboring village in search of brides
while on their journey announced he said
oh it's a wee bit chilly out here
nothing would you mind maybe trading me
your fine clothes for my a thread pair
of rags here so I could warm up a bit
wanting to make sure his friend was okay
nothing generously agreed but when they
arrived at the village most of the women
fond over a Nancy and treated nothing
with contempt for they thought uh Nancy
was rich and nothing was poor but one
girl did look sympathetically at nothing
and decided that he would make the
better husband all of the other women
mocked her but the ceremony was done and
they all headed to their new homes when
they got to where the path splits and
the women saw that nothing had a great
palace with servants sent out to greet
them and a Nancy had nothing but a hovel
they were shocked in fact so many of
them had decided to marry uh Nancy that
he didn't even have enough food to feed
them so
had to live off unripe fruit until one
day nothing's wife invited them all over
for a feast upon seeing the finery of
nothing's house all of a Nancy's wives
simply refused to leave which in turn
made Anansi furious and he tried many
devious ways to slay nothing out of
jealousy but nothing was well-guarded
and none of his attempts succeeded so at
last Anansi convinced his friends the
rats to dig a great hole outside
nothings door then he lined the hole
with knives and broken bottles and
covered nothing steps in aqua juice so
they were so slippery no one could stand
on them well that escalated real quick
finally when night came a Nancy called
out to nothing to come out and see his
old friend but as soon as Nothings foot
touched the first step he slipped and
fell into the deadly pit his cries woke
the household and they ran out with
torches ablaze but it was too late
his wife was so filled with sorrow she
knew that she alone could not bear the
grief so she boiled all the yams the
servants could bring made tiny cakes of
them and brought them around to all of
the houses and to every child she met
she gave one of these cakes and asked
that the child might help cry for her
husband and that's why often to this day
if you see an upset child and ask them
what they're crying about they very well
may tell you
it's nothing
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legendary thanks to patron Kyle
Murgatroyd
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[Applause]
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