BIOLOGY
BIOLOGY BEHIND OUR4@4@ EMOTIONS TAKING BACK CONTROL. >> WHEN WE HAVE DEPRESSION,
PART OF THE 4@NERVOUS SYSTEM TH
SHOULD BE ACTIVATED THAT KEEPS
A SOCIALLY CONNECTED AND ENGAGE@
, WE READ CUES APPROPRIATELY
AND ACCURATELY.
IT IS NOT WORKING AS WELL.
NOT WHEN WE ARE FEELING SAD AND
DOWN FOR EXTENDED PERIODS OF
TIME.
SO WE ARE JUST 4@NOT ABLE TO
CONNECT IN THE SAME WAY AND
HAVE THE SAME KIND 4@OF EMPATHY
OR COMPASSION.
THE NONCLINICAL ANSWER THAT WE
ALL CAN UNDERSTAND IS THAT WHEN
OR COMPASSION. THE NONCLINICAL ANSWER THAT WE ALL CAN UNDERSTAND IS THAT WHEN@
WE ARE NOT AT OUR BEST4@ WE DON
HAVE AS MUCH PATIENCE OR
INTERNAL BANDWIDTH AND4@ NOT 4@
MANY INTERNAL RESOURCES TO WORK
WITH.
THAT IRRITABILITY IS A LOT MORE
COMMON AND IF WE ARE UNABLE TO
CONTAIN THAT, IT IS A MATTER OF
TIME BEFORE COMES OUT.
I GO YOU HAVE ADVICE ON
MANAGING THAT AND DEALING WITH
THAT.
THE FIRST PIECE OF ADVICE IS TO
FEEL YOUR FEELINGS.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?
>> THIS DOESN'T COME NATURALLY
FOR A LOT OF US.4@
FEELING YOUR FEELINGS IS REALLY
THAT.
IF YOU ARE FEELING LIKE YOU
WANT TO CRY, CRY.
MOST OF US DON'T.
IF 4@YOU'RE FEELING LIKE YOU WA
TO YELL OR HIT SOMETHING, YOU
SHOULD.4@4@4@
YELL INTO A PILLOW, HIT A
PILLOW, DON'T BE ABUSIVE.
JUST BEING ABLE TO USE YOUR
EMOTIONS AS DATA AND ALLOW THEM
TO MOVE THROUGH YOU MEANS THEY
WILL PASS MORE QUICKLY THAN IF
WE TRY TO STUFF THEM DOWN4@4@,
IS WHAT MOST OF US DO.
>> THERE ARE BETTER WAYS TO
COMMUNICATE WITH4@ OTHER PEOPLE
AND HOW WE ARE FEELING WITH
OTHER PEOPLE YOU SUGGEST USING
THE I 4@TECHNIQUE AND A SANDWIC
TECHNIQUE.
WALK ME THROUGH SOME OF THOSE.
>> YOU CAN EXPRESS HOW YOU FEEL
TO ANOTHER PERSON IF4@ THAT IS
BOSS, PARTNER, FRIEND, WHATEVER
THAT IS.
MAKE SURE WE HANDLE THE ANGER
IN A WAY THAT IT CAN BE
RECEIVED AND HEARD BY THE OTHER
PARTY.
USING I STATEMENTS INSTEAD OF
YOU MADE ME FEEL ANGRY, IT IS
HELPFUL TO SAY I FELT ANGRY
WHEN 4@YOU DID THIS.4@4@
THAT ALLOWS YOU TO TAKE
RESPONSIBILITY FOR HOW YOU FEEL
WHILE ALSO LETTING THE OTHER
PARTY NO WHAT THEY DID THAT
CONTRIBUTED TO THE FEELING YOU
ARE HAVING.4@
>> DOES THAT MAKE SENSE?
>> IT DOES.
AND YOU ALSO TALK ABOUT THE
COMPLEMENT SANDWICH.4@
SOMETHING POSITIVE TO BEGIN 4@A
END.
>> YES.
THIS CAN BE HELPFUL4@ ESPECIALL
IF IT CAN BE A SENSITIVE
INTERACTION IF YOU ARE DEALING
WITH YOUR PARTNER OVER
SOMETHING THAT YOU DEAL WITH
ALL THE TIME AND THEY ARE SICK
OF HEARING ABOUT IT OR YOUR
BOSS WHEN YOU WANT TO MAKE SURE
YOUR BEING OVER PROFESSIONAL.
START WITH SOMETHING POSITIVE.
IF YOU 4@ARE ANGRY YOUR PARTNER
FOR NOT TAKING OUT THE TRASH
AGAIN,4@ YOU CAN SAY4@4@, I REA
APPRECIATE THAT YOU WORKED SO
HARD TO MAKE ME HAPPY.
I SEE THAT ALL THE TIME.
UNFORTUNATELY, YOU DIDN'T TAKE
THE TRASH OUT AGAIN AND THAT IS
FRUSTRATING FOR ME BUT I LOVE 4@
THAT I CAN JUST 4@TALK TO YOU
ABOUT THIS AND I KNOW WE WILL
BE ABLE TO WORK IT 4@OUT.,
POSITIVE,4@ CRITICISM, POSITIVE
>> AND WRAPPING THIS UP, I
APPRECIATE THAT YOU WORDED IT
IN A WAY OF ARE YOU WILLING TO
DRINK POISON FOR THE PERSON WHO
IS CAUSING 4@YOU FRUSTRATION4@?
>> STRESS IN GENERAL,
ESPECIALLY ANGER AND 4@RAGE.
THAT COMES WITH A TOXIC
CHEMICAL MAKEUP.
WHEN WE ARE FEELING ANGRY OR4@
FULL OF RAGE OUR BODIES 4@ARE
FULL OF CHEMICALS AND HORMONES
THAT ULTIMATELY DO DAMAGE TO
OUR BODY IF THEY STAY IN THERE
LONG ENOUGH.
SO4@ WE ALL GET STRESSED AND
ANGRY.
THERE IS 4@NOTHING WRON4@G WITH
THAT.
THE IMPORTANT THING IS THAT WE
GET BACK TO OUR 4@BASELINE AND
ONE WAY WE CAN DO THAT IS BY
TALKING TO PEOPLE.
IF WE DON'T GET BACK TO OUR
BASELINE, ALL OF THOSE
CHEMICALS INSIDE YOUR BODY ARE @
JUST DOING TREMENDOUS AMOUNTS
OF DAMAGE 4@OVER TIME.
THAT IS WHY4@ I USE THE POISON
ANALOGY.
IF WE ARE NOT WILLING TO BE
ADVOCATES FOR OUR SELF TO BE IN
DIRECT COMMUNICATION WITH THE
PEOPLE AROUND US AFFECTING US,
IT HURTS US, 4@NOT THEM.
THAT IS SOMETHING IMPORTANT TO
THINK ABOUT.
>> FINALLY,4@ WHY IS IT THAT WE
CAN FEEL THE NEGATIVE EMOTIONS4
WHEN SOMETHING POSITIVE COULD
BE HAPPENING.
IT IS A CHANGE BUT IT COULD BE
POSITIVE. 4@
>> OUR4@ BODIES AND BRAINS LIKE
THE SAME, THEY LOVE FAMILIARITY@
WHEN THERE IS A CHANGE, 4@THAT
A DISRUPTION TO THE STATUS QUO
AND OUR BODY4@4@4@ GETS NERVOUS
BACK IN THE DAY, OUR ANCESTORS
FACED ALL SORTS OF CRAZY
ELEMENTS IN THEIR 4@ENVIRONMENT
AND CHANGE COULD MEAN LIFE OR
DEATH, TREMENDOUS DANGER.
WE4@ CRAVE STATUS QUO.
EVEN POSITIVE CHANGES ARE STILL
OFTEN RECEIVED 4@AS THREATENING
THAT IS WHY WE JUST NEED TO
STAY CONSISTENT WITH WHAT WE