[humming, clearing throat]
What do you want?!
Squidward. What would Mr. Krabs say?
In the Krusty Krab, Mr. Squidward,
we're always polite to our paying customers.
[sighing] Welcome to the Krusty Krab.
May I please take your order?
Remember Squidward, service with a smile.
Here, try one of Mr. Krabs' vintage training devices.
May I please take your order?
Oh, uh. I'll take a Krabby patty.
[chuckles] Hold the freaky smile.
[chuckles]
I think that went pretty well, don't you?
[screaming]
SpongeBob! You aggravating, obnoxious, loathsome little...
Oh, hold that constructive criticism,
Squidward. I'll be right back.
Mr. Krabs, I can't come in today.
I caught something terrible.
What'd ya catch?
I caught sight of the calendar.
Uh. Hold on, Skipper.
There's someone here to see ya.
Says he's from the Barnacle Bay Art Museum.
And he wants to honor you as artist of the month.
I have arrived.
[laughing]
What? What's so funny?
Where's the art dealer?
[laughing]
Ya just missed him.
Yeah, but he told us to tell you...
[laughing]
Tell me what?
He told me to tell you... April Fool.
[music playing]
Well, it's been nice working here.
Thanks for everything, Mr. Krabs.
Squidward, wait!
Just send my last check to the P.O. box, Mr. Krabs!
Indubitably, madam. We are your high-class caterers.
But where are your tuxedos?
Tuxedos? Oh, just give us a moment to suit up,
me good lady.
Now, where are we going to get tuxedos from?
- You. - Hey, what are you--
[music playing]
Ew.
Great, then close your eyes.
I'm ready.
Well, I like it so far.
[gasping]
It's the new Krusty Crew uniform.
[chuckles] I designed it myself.
'Kay, this is it, SpongeBob.
Now tell her how you really feel about that uniform.
Okay, Squidward. Pearl.
This is the greatest uniform ever!
Fish paste.
Oh, SpongeBob, you look so adorable.
I could just eat you up.
Sorry, Pearl, this item's not on the menu.
[laughing]
Well, I didn't think it was possible, SpongeBob,
but you look even more ridiculous than usual.
Don't be jealous, Uncle Squiddy, I made one for you, too.
Don't bother. Only a fool would wear that.
Avast, ye shipmates!
Don't these just shiver your timbers?
[laughing]
Get that suit on, sailor. It's already been paid for.
[music playing]
Rage. Fury. Irritation. Humiliation.
And what about me?
Don't worry, Squidward. You're fired.
What do I get rehired for a new job
at the museum, too?
[chuckles] No, you're just fired.
What? No, you don't fire me. I quit.
I got my resignation letter all prepared.
Dear Mr. Krabs--
Do you have a ticket, sir?
Can't be in a museum without a ticket.
What the what?! I-I-I tender my resignation
from this greasy establishment.
Too long have I toiled under your iron claw.
Now I am free- free to live my dreams
of being a ballet dancer, ha-ha, and the first chair clarinet
in the Bikini Bottom Orchestra, ha-ha,
and I am going to finally publish
my mystery/thriller novel: 'Dial D for Doily!"
Eight o'clock. So long, suckers.
I got a hot date with a little lady
and her name is Clarinet.
[knocking]
- What? - Are you open?
Read the sign.
I'll have a Krabby Patty Deluxe and a double chili kelp fries.
No, you won't.
I can't hang out here all night.
I've got a life.
Well, fine, if you don't want my money...
Money?
If we stayed open later, you'd give us your money?
Sure.
Mr. Squidward, welcome to the night shift.
From now on, the Krusty Krab is open 24 hours a day.
What?!
Wow.
Now, we never have to stop working.
Mr. Krabs.
See ya in the morning, boys.
I can't hang out here all night. I gotta life.
Hey, we need the combination.
I got it covered.
One...
[humming] Doink.
[humming]
Viola.
[groaning]
See? This is fun.
[phone ringing]
I got it! I got it! Coming!
- Hello. - Oh.
Sorry, sir, we're closed.
Ahoy there, Krusty Krab, how can I help you?
[indistinct chattering] Pizza?
Of course, we have pizza.
Uh, Mr. Krabs.
Our delivery squid will bring it right over.
Mr. Krabs, we don't serve pizza.
We don't deliver.
We don't deliver, but you do.
Can't you just get SpongeBob to do it?
Great idea! Take him with ya.
That's not what I had in mind!
And now, ladies and gentlemen,
the moment you've all all been waiting for.
We've saved the best for last.
Put your hands together for the incomparable Squidward!
[music playing, clapping]
[music playing]
[chirping]
[music playing]
What the?!
[audience booing]
I'm losing money on this deal!
[audience booing]
It's worth every penny.
[audience booing]
You bottom feeders! You don't even know talent!
No talent! No talent! No talent! No talent!
Anchovies!
[chattering]
Please! Please! Quiet!
Is this any way to behave?
Mm. Eat.
Can we show a little decency
and form a neat single file line in front of the register?
Eat! Eat! Eat! Eat! Eat! Eat! Eat! Eat! Eat! Eat! Eat! Eat!
All hands on deck!
Get your anchors out of your pants!
One single file line was all I asked!
Whoa!
Batten down the hatches, Mr. Squidward!
We're taking on water, Mr. Squidward!
I want my mommy, Mr. Squidward!
Help!
Man overboard!
Climb, Mr. Squidward! Climb!
Eat! Eat! Eat! Eat!
Eat! Eat!
This is the end! Goodbye, Mr. Squidward!
Oh, Mr. Krabs!
[crying]
Mr. Krabs, can we please go now?
Perhaps one of our more loyal workers
can enlighten you on company policy.
"The Krusty Krab Employee Manual;
2nd Revised Edition; Page 35; Section 19; Clause 3a, states:
All staff must remain on the premises
until the day's receipts are fully accounted for."
But that's not fair!
"Clause 3b: The proprietor
reserves the right to be unfair."
Teacher's pet.
Let's see... five, ten, 25, blue, apple sauce.
Everything looks to be in order. Except...
[gasping] Where is it? Where is it?!
- What? - My dime!
Me special dime, the first dime I ever made!
I always keep it in the back of the register for luck!
Well, I've never seen it.
Hmm.
Are you prepared to say that with your hand on a stack
of interpretive dance quarterlies?
Of course I'm... What are you saying?
Me? I ain't saying nothing that would matter to anyone
who would be willing to take a lie detector test!
You're saying something!
Heavens to Betsy, no.
It's just that me lucky dime's gone missing
and you've been working the register all day!
Are you accusing me of something?!
Well, the way I see it, there are three possibilities:
One, you stole it. Two, you stole it.
Or three, you stole it!
I didn't take your precious dime!
- Show me your tentacles. - What?!
I wanna see empty suction cups.
Here! Here! Here! See 'em?!
You... you can't do that to me. I'm your boss!
Not anymore, Mr. Krabs. I quit!
[gasping] No!