I went to Malaysia where I spent a lot of my childhood and I thought it would be great,
like finally get to decompress except I didn’t prepare for how freaking lonely it would be
to just be all alone in a country where no one knows me.
And while everyone else I know is having holidays with their family and friends.
So that’s where the song came from.
I am too proud to be hysterical to other people but the chorus “Nobody” was literally
me in a semi-fugue state on my hands and knees on the floor just crying and just repeating
the word, “nobody.”
And then I don’t know.
I was like, “Let me use this pain and exploit it for my money.”
So I was in Kuala Lumpur and I was in KLCC which is the city center.
And I had a little…
I subletted a little studio apartment.
So I literally just opened the windows to hear other people being alive.
I read an article that said the planet Venus at some point in its history actually experienced
global warming.
And I thought, “Oh it would be funny if like Venus, which is the planet of love, actually
had a civilization on it at some point and the people of Venus wanted so much and wanted
too much that they just used up all their resources.”
I don’t want your fucking pity.
Like can you just like sit next to me?
Don’t even talk.
Just please don’t talk.
Just be next to me and I wanna feel another human being being around me.
Sometimes you don’t even want words.
Like…
You just wanna kiss.
You know?
I have gained weight and I’ve lost weight and I’ve been big and I’ve been small.
I’ve tried this clothes.
I’ve had this haircut.
I’ve done everything I could to my body and still, nobody wants me.
Why?
When you sing along to it at my show, don’t worry about the pitch.
Just…
Just the words are fine.
Cause it goes all over the place.