Self discipline comes from within.
It's a desire.
It's being able to understand
that you got to put the work end
and you got to be willing to go further
and harder than you've ever gone in your life.
Don't really wanna get up and get out bed?
I get up and get out of bed.
I don't really wanna work out.
I work out.
I really don't want to hammer on a project.
I hammer on the project.
Now as an overall rule, I do not like procrastination.
You need to get things done.
Overcoming the old self.
Allows us to become somebody else.
And there is that period of transition.
Call it the void where there's just not a lot happening
and you just gotta be able
to keep going and continuously
get to the end of your belief where most people stop.
Success is like a quiet daily set of tasks,
real small, real, real small.
It's very quiet.
It is a very quiet process
where you're just drawing you're state from within yourself
doing these like simple little tasks, but finding love
in those simple little tasks.
It's not this big rah-rah speech
where you dothis one thing and something big happens.
Look, when you start deciding that
it's time to change, you may have to
use 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, 5,000 times a day.
Because you're pushing through self doubt
and you're pushing through procrastination
and you're pushing through resignation
and you're pushing through fear over and over and over
and over and over and over and over again.
Change the chapters in the book of your life.
If you want to.
There's a book being written about you.
And if you can decide you and God or you with whatever you believe,
you're the author, you can turn the page.
It might be year 2, 3, 4, for you to get your big win.
I'm gonna walk, talk and be a different person.
See, we don't have the courage
and that's what it takes courage.
It takes guts
to do that what, you know, you need to do,
if you don't have the courage to act
life many times will move on you
and make you out.
And the measure of a person
will is determined by what they are willing to do
to ensure triumph over tragedy.
The measure of a person's will is determined by what
they are willing to do to ensure success over failure.
The benefit of discipline in my eyes is always been
that through discipline
I get things done.
All you have to do is know where you're going
and the answers will come to you.
Forget the past mistakes,
forget the failures, forget everything
except what you're going to do now and do it.
It's taken me my entire life
to understand it's not necessary to know every single detail.
And to stop testing the waters and just dive in.
We wanna believe that there are shortcuts to success.
We wanna believe, we can take a drug
or we can do something that'll make it quick and easy.
But the truth is, it takes grit.
It takes persistence.
So it's hard to understand what could happen to you in 10 years
in a visceral gut way
of what it means to have failed in life.
And to me, failure in life is not, not having money.
It's not realizing your potential.
You're 60 years old and you said,
I could have been this and I never did it.
That's like the worst thought.
I think anybody
can have,
and you don't think about it in the moment because your life is okay,
but you've gotta wake up and understand that there's an urgency here.
And that if you're not practicing something now,
if you're not aware, if you don't have a path
towards something better,
you're rotting on the vine and, and that day of reckoning will come.
At some point, and it will be painful.
You're not gonna feel it suddenly.
It'll be slow, but it'll come and it won't be good.
You will not find toughness
in a comfortable environment.
Those of you who are listening to this,
whoever hear this, you will not find it.
I was trying to look for it everywhere.
The only way you find it is to drown yourself
in a position where you're just outta sorts,
where you can't swim and you're drowning.
Where you're drowning.
You're drowning in life, but you say, know what ma'am?
F*** that.
I'm gonna figure out how to f****
backstroke or f***** something.
I'm gonna figure out how to, and then through figuring out
all these tools, your mind starts to,
when you quit, your mind does this
cuz you're out.
Once you say, I'm not gonna quit.
This is the 40%.
When, when you quit, your mind says, we're done.
So it doesn't expand.
There's no expansion.
when you quit.
When you say, f*** you , this sucks.
I'm drowning, I'm miserable, I'm suffering.
I'm broken, but I'm not going anywhere.
What happens to your mind is it does this.
It says, f***, he's not leaving,
so we gotta expand, we gotta grow.
We gotta figure this f**** thing out.
So then these compartments in your brain
start to, they have to work.
They have to work.
And then you start to engage parts of
your mind that you never engaged before,
but you can't engage it by sitting back in these nice chairs,
drinking this nice water, talking to you,
talking about what I want to do.
That's where, so that's where the 40% thing comes in.
It comes in when you're in sufferer mode
and you say, I'm not gonna quit.
You're forcing your brain now to operate on a level
it's not used to, but then it becomes used to it.
Successful people are intensely solution-oriented.
The fact is that life is a continuous succession of problems and difficulties, without end.
This river of problems is only interrupted by the occasional crisis,
which makes the problems seem small in comparison.
In fact, if you are living a busy life, you will probably experience
a crisis of some kind every two to three months throughout your life.
You will have business crises, family crises, financial crises, health crises and other crises.
The problems and crises never stop.
They keep coming, like the waves of the ocean.
The only thing you can control is your responses to these problems and crises.
And therein lies the key to your success.
Successful people respond effectively to problems.
Ineffective people do not.
Successful people take a deep breath, relax and think clearly.
They look for the good in every situation.
They seek the valuable lesson.
Above all, they focus on the solution, on what can be done,
rather than what has happened and who is to blame.
There is a methodology that you can use to solve any problem.
It requires that you approach the business of problem solving systematically,
and in an organized fashion.
Just like there is a process for solving mathematical problems,
there is a process for solving business and life problems,
and you can learn it use it for the rest of your career.
Step One: Define the problem clearly.
A problem properly defined is half solved.
It is absolutely amazing how much time is wasted floundering around looking for a solution
when no one is quite clear about the problem.
Step Two: Ask, “What are all the possible causes of this problem?”
Look for both the obvious and the not so obvious causes of the problem.
How did it begin?
What are its origins?
What triggered it in the first place?
What is the critical variable that changed to cause the problem in the first place?
What assumptions were made that led to the problem?
Just like a doctor conducting an intensive examination on a sick patient,
you should thoroughly dissect the problem before you attempt to solve it.
Step Three: Ask, “What are all the possible solutions?”
Avoid the natural tendency of most human beings to leap from a problem definition
to a conclusion regarding a solution of some kind.
Always ask, “What else is the solution?”
Sometimes the best solution is to nothing at all.
Sometimes the best solution is to gather more information.
Sometimes, the best solution is to realize that this is not your problem
and pass it onto someone else whose responsibility it is.
Step Four: Once you have identified several possible solutions, ask, “What must this solution accomplish?”
the only way you can judge the attractiveness of a solution is to determine, in advance,
what you want the solution to accomplish.
You’ve heard it said that, “The operation was a success, but the patient died.”
It is very common for us to initiate a solution, and implement it,
but the problem is not only not solved,
but it is worse than it was before we took action in the first place.
Be sure that the solution you select will accomplish the purpose you had in mind
when you started on the problem solving exercise in the first place.
Step Five: Once you have decided on the ideal solution, assign specific responsibility,
or take responsibility yourself for implementing the solution.
Set a deadline for implementation.
Set a measure by which you can determine if the solution has been effective.
A problem solving discussion that does not lead to agreement on a specific solution,
accompanied by the assignment of personal responsibility and a deadline,
is a problem that will come back over and over again, without resolution.
Practice this systematic method of dealing with a problem over and over until it becomes a habit of thinking.
You will be amazed at how much more effective you become,
and how much better your results will be using this method.
I kept saying this to myself on repeat.
There is no way, Mel, if you've worked this hard,
that you will not be rewarded.
You have to believe
that this moment is preparing you for something amazing that hasn't happened yet.
Keep going.
You have to believe that this moment is preparing you
for something amazing that hasn't happened yet.
Keep going.
And so I repeated that over and over and over,
and over and over again.
As I wanted to throw on the towel, as I would start to bash myself
as I would start to feel sorry for myself and be like, nope,
there's just no way I'm gonna believe that something amazing isn't gonna happen.
I've worked too hard.
Something amazing that hasn't happened is coming.
And when you get yourself into that mindset,
it creates a sense of resilience and momentum and resolve
that you need in order to keep going
when the s*** hits the fan or when you feel
disappointed or when life is beating you down.
And that was the other gift of that moment.
Is developing a little tool to flip my mindset
when I wanted to start to feel sorry for myself.