We just got back from the Middle East, from Abu Dhabi.
So she's naturally a little jet-lagged.
I bet.
So is she good on a plane?
She's pretty good.
You know, I mean--
That's a long flight.
I carry a blow dart, so [SPITS] you know, she's--
[SPITS]
You know, and then I just inhale one for myself.
And then I'm out.
But no, she's actually pretty good.
You know, she's into her books and her little, you know,
stuff.
And yeah, it's nice.
Very nice.
We try to keep it kind of of analog.
It's good.
Yeah.
Yeah, because she's four.
And then you had another one with Blake recently.
How is old that child?
That happened from sex.
And we-- yes, we had-- just FYI.
She's two.
Uh-huh.
Yeah, so she just turned two.
So you've only had sex the twice?
Just the two times, yeah.
Yeah.
It's a mercenary job.
You know, so you, you know.
It's just clinical.
Yeah.
Hoping for a third soon.
They say you need to do 10,000 hours of anything
you want to be an expert at, so--
That's true.
That was in the Agassi book, right?
Yeah, I think that was the Malcolm Gladwell one.
Oh, that's right.
You're right.
All right, so what were you doing in Abu Dhabi?
I was shooting a movie.
I was shooting a movie called "6 Underground".
How long were you there?
I was there for--
well, we're all over the world.
But the Abu Dhabi portion was about six weeks.
And it was a lot of fun.
You know, it was interesting.
It was cool to bring my kids to this entirely new culture.
What did you do there?
Well we had Thanksgiving there, which was, you know, probably--
I don't know if that was the Mayflower's first choice.
But we had Thanksgiving there.
So it was kind of interesting to have Thanksgiving
in a completely different country in a place
where they don't celebrate it.
But they we got around and looked around,
and absorbed as much of the place as we could.
I mean, both of our kids were there.
So we wanted them to see as much as possible.
But I liked it.
I actually really quite liked it.
I had a bit of time off and got to kind of cruise around.
At the end, I screwed up a little bit, because I went to--
the last portion of the movie I'm
wearing a hat the whole time.
So I decided just get a haircut.
But I went to like a barber in, like, a strip mall there.
Which-- and you've done movies.
You're not supposed to actually cut your hair without them
actually supervising it.
Yes, there's continuity and stuff.
Yeah.
And it was just amazing.
It looked like somebody had cut my hair with a loofah.
Like they just sort of, like, rubbed it off.
Why did you do that?
Or maybe used a hammer.
I don't know.
I--
Wasn't there someone on the set that could do your hair?
There was, but I had almost week off before.
And it was like, well I'm going home.
I have an hour and a half for the whole rest of the movie.
I may as well just get her just a dreadful haircut.
And I did.
It was a lot of fun.
I wanted to bring a photo, but I left it on my laptop at home.
I think my phone just automatically deleted it just
to protect me.
So was there not a mirror in front of you?
There was.
And at the time, it was, like, all happening in slow motion.
I was like, this isn't--
I'm going to be fine.
There's no way it looks this bad.
The mirrors worked.
But no, it was really horrible.
It was sort of fun.
You know, I liked sort of having it for a minute.
My daughter was upset.
I bet.
Yeah, it was great.
And Blake, I'm sure?
Oh, yes.
Yeah.
Because she just married you for your looks, I'm sure.
100%.
So if you lose that, you've got nothing.
Yeah, she didn't marry me for my Stanislavski method.
I'll tell you that much.
So I heard that your neighbors with Martha Stewart.
That's right?
Yeah, we are.
Yeah.
OK.
So for Christmas, how do you compete
with something like that?
Because she must decorate-- do you decorate?
No, I don't at all.
I would never even try to do that.
If I decorated, the whole house would just be like,
I don't know.
Like, old spit or something.
Like there's no--
I have none of that sensibility.
But my wife, Blake--
You certainly don't know how to decorate if you'd use spit.
Clearly.
She's amazing at it.
And I hope to someday create, like,
a competition at some point where we're kind of--
You should.
So Christmas must be really fun for you because you have kids,
and that's like a really great time.
Yeah, it's pretty great.
I love it.
And you seem to--
I mean, you brought your daughter by herself here.
So you love being a dad.
I love it.
It's really kind of made me a better person I think.
You know?
I sort of miss being horrible.
Yeah.
It's hard.
Like, you know, everybody has-- it's always a challenge.
Two kids, it's like, you know.
I think of, like, blinking now as, like, tiny little breaks
all day.
But you know, it's the dream.
You know, it's the best.
They're, like, my buddies.
I love it.
So Once Upon a Deadpool, tell us--
they did something special with this, right?
Yeah.
You know, I get a lot of parents who come up to me and say,
you know, are they ever going to do a PG-13 version of Deadpool?
Because parents and adults, myself
included, want content that they can watch with their kids.
You know, so it's also entertaining for you.
And that's what this version of Deadpool really is.
I mean, I've seen Frozen with my daughters so, so many times.
People don't know this.
A lot of parents don't know this.
If you play Frozen backwards, it's
actually a shot for shot remake of The Exorcist.
So that would obviously enrage a lot of parents.
That's why I was really excited about the Deadpool 2 PG-13 cut.
Because not only is it an incredibly entertaining movie,
but it's a super great cause.
We're associating with Fudge Cancer.
We're calling it Fudge Cancer now.
Even though it's actually called--
Something else.
Fudge Cancer.
So yeah, And you can also check it out at letsfcancer.com,
I believe it is.
So a portion of every ticket sold is going to this.
Is going to that.
So that's fantastic.
Yeah.
Good.