I'm gonna tell you what they are,
I wanna reveal them to you in this video,
so you will not wanna miss this.
Hey there, I'm Rebecca Zung,
I am a narcissist negotiation expert,
I've written 2 best-selling books, I'm also an attorney and
on this channel, and in these videos,
I give you all my secrets.
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Let's talk about the five ways narcissists sneakily chip away at you.
Sometimes it's like you're that frog in that boiling water,
Have you ever heard about that analogy?
It happens sometimes with narcissists,
like, all of a sudden, you've been boiled
because they've just kinda sneakily broken you down and
there's it just happens over time.
I mean, you don't even realize what's been happening and
you're just like in it.
They just do this thing to you,
so I just wanna reveal some of the ways they sneakily break you down,
you're gonna wanna watch all the way to the end,
because I'm gonna give you 5 ways that they do this.
It's like so secretive, it's so stealth, it's so insidious,
you don't even realize it's happening until it's happening.
I see it all the time in negotiations,
so when you're negotiating with them,
when you're communicating with them,
you wanna know, you're gonna wanna spot those signs.
Example, they didn't do something they were supposed to do,
very clearly they didn't do something they were supposed to do and
you lay out the facts,
let's say they didn't show up to something
they were supposed to show up to,
Why didn't they show up to it?
Why didn't they? Why weren't they there?
What happened to them? And on and on.
You go through the plan or whatever it is and somehow,
they stealthily turn that around to,
“It's your fault” and “You’ve created this problem”,
making them feel terrible and
making them feel like a piece of crap and
and you're creating an issue in the relationship and
you're angry all the time and
that's why they don't do what they're supposed to,
because it's your anger.
Then, you're like, “I was only angry after you didn't show up”.
“Oh, no, that's been going on for months before”,
you know, somehow it's all your fault.
Now you're defending yourself against something and
it's all about you, no longer about this one thing they didn't do.
It all gets muddied up, it's no longer about the one thing they didn't do,
that they should be held accountable for.
It's all about them,
they make so much more noise around you and your behavior,
so they no longer have to be held accountable for their behavior.
So that sneakily breaks you down and
now suddenly you're groveling at them and
you're begging them to be in the relationship
instead of the other way around.
They'll say “You're interrupting”,
Here you're trying to discuss something,
then it becomes about now you brought it up,
or the fact that you're too loud, your tone,
it can't be about what it is that you want to actually discuss.
You can never get back to the issue,
it's this circular conversation,
it becomes this word salad of things and
you're trying to get back to the issue at hand and
you can never seem to get back to the issue,
because they're saying things like, “You interrupted me”.
Or they'll be like, “What are you wearing right now?”
“Is that what you wore when you were out today?”
You're still trying to bring up this particular issue,
but it's all about other things,
you can just you can never seem to get to the issue of
what it is that you wanna talk about.
“Why are you bringing that up when you know I have a headache?”
“What is it that you're wearing right now?”
“Why are you yelling?”, “You literally just interrupted me”
“You know that the neighbors can hear you”.
You can seriously never get to what it is you want to talk about.
They're breaking you down and they're breaking you down,
that reminds me, you never addressed this issue,
now you're off talking about that and
now you're on some other tangent about something else and
you're never getting back to the issue you want to talk about ever.
That's a whole form of gaslighting by the way.
You should definitely check out my video on
gaslighting phrases that narcissists use,
because there's a whole other thing on that for sure.
Now all of a sudden, you're like, what?
I didn't raise my voice.
Or they will raise their voice, they'll start raising their voice,
they'll start getting angry, they'll start making a show,
they'll start getting dramatic, they'll start shutting you down,
they'll just walk away, they'll just say this conversation is done.
So, they'll just be ghosting you,
they'll just decide they're done and stonewall you
so that you can't have any more of a conversation with them.
That will break you down as well.
So, they'll say things like everyone else, or no one else,
or “I'm the only one who loves you”,
or “I'm the only one who can stand you”,
or “Everyone else thinks this”, or “No one else thinks that”.
So they make you believe you are crazy in that way.
Or they'll line up their minions, sometimes called flying monkeys,
to make you think they've got this army of people on their side,
who are believing their lies against you.
It's another way of isolating you,
another way of making you feel you shouldn't stand up for yourself.
That's another way of breaking you down.
Those are just some of the ways that narcissists break you down,
they start to sneakily break you down.
Again, if you're so ready to be free,
put “I'm ready” in the comments below.
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you can get that at BetterHelp.com/RebeccaZung.
Remember today is a great day to start negotiating your best life.
They only win if you give in,
so you're not going to give in, right?
You're not going to give up,
because the support that you need is here.
We've got a huge community of people all over the world,
just like you, who have one, who have become victorious.
And you can too, alright?
So, I will see you guys in the next video.
I will see you in my Facebook group.
I will see you all in my slay groups,
So let's do this.