(Cues: Wiz & Boomstick - Brandon Yates)
Boomstick: They're as cold as ice.
They're willin' to sacrifice.
Wiz: Today we're pitting together two queens of ice.
Born into powerful if troubled families.
Boomstick: Weiss Schnee, heiress to the Schnee Family and member of the team huntress: RWBY.
Wiz: And Mitsuru Kirijo, heiress to the Kirijo Group and member of the Persona wielding S.E.E.S.
Boomstick: He's Wiz and I'm Boomstick.
Wiz: And it's our job to analyze their weapons, armor & skills to find out who will win...
A DEATH BATTLE!
The world of Remnant.
Is known for many things.
The vicious creatures called: Grimm.
The Hunters and Huntress is committed to fighting them and the Schnee family.
Boomstick: Yeah they're kind of like royalty and their princess is Weiss Schnee.
As the heiress to the family company she grew up in a pretty cold home.
Pun intended.
Wiz: The Schnee family expected a lot from Weiss it was considered essential that she live up to their highly influential name.
Boomstick: Too bad for them she had her own plans.
Wiz: Rejecting her father's wishes to remain at home Weiss left to attend Beacon Academy and train to become a huntress.
Literally putting the "W" in Team RWBY.
Within just a year Weiss established her own name for herself.
Saving the kingdom on more than one occasion.
And doing so with her trusty blade.
Myrtenaster.
Boomstick: And that's my cue.
Merc-nasty here's a multi-action rapier with a three-foot long blade.
But guess what?
It's also a gun.
Instead of a plain old cross guard.
It's got a six slot revolver style chamber that Weiss fills with bullets colored like the rainbow.
Wiz: Well, they're not exactly bullets.
They're vials of Dust.
Which she can fire to enhance her weapon and skills.
Ironically the Schnee Dust Company is by far one of the largest producers and exporters of Dust.
Boomstick: Wait, wait wait..?
They sell dust?
I gotta ton of that shit covered in the bookshelf in my trailer.
I can sell it and finally have enough money to buy.
A second bookshelf!
Dust farm here I come!
Wiz: No, not that kind of dust.
In the world of Remnant; Dust its an energy source often used to fuel vehicles, androids and weapons.
Wait you have books?
Boomstick: When did I say anythin' about books?
Wiz: Well long story short, there are four types of Dust: Air, Lightning, Fire and Water.
Boomstick: And Weiss likes to mix water and air together for her favorite: Ice Dust.
Yang: And that it's why they call you the "Ice Queen".
Wiz: She can also attack with fire, launch a windstorm, block attacks with barriers and many many other techniques.
Needless to say Myrtenaster is a surprisingly versatile weapon.
Boomstick: She also uses Dust to boost her Semblance.
Which is basically her X-Men superpower.
Weiss got her's from her family line and can do bunch of stuff with it.
Wiz: She can make Glyphs on surfaces or in the air.
Each with a different color denoting its ability.
Black Glyphs hold things in place while White ones propel things foward.
Also by infusing Glyphs with Dust she can manipulate their effects.
For example a touch of lightning Dust lets her dilate time.
Dramatically increasing her speed.
Boomstick: Or even better, she can use the Glyphs to summon monsters to aid her in battle.
Beastmaster style!
Like this crazy boar, a giant killer wasp and the Arma Gigas.
Wiz: Which literally translates to "Giant Armor" in latin.
So...
fitting.
Boomstick: Damn, just imagine how great her family could be if they all didn't hate each other.
Unlimited Dust, giant bodyguards you can summon anytime and they'd never be stuck with warm beer.
Wiz: Unfortunately the Schnee family does suffer from some rocky relationships.
With the exception of Weiss and her older sister: Winter.
Boomstick: Wait, wait go back.
It's her dad Coronel Sanders?
Wiz: I guess there's a certain resemblance.
Boomstick: KFC.
KFSchnee!?
No wonder they're so rich.
Wiz: Where did you get that chicken?
Boomstick: What?
You don't carry pocket chicken?
Wiz: So back on topic.
Weiss has a very powerful and versatile ability and like most Semblances it's powered by her Aura.
Boomstick: Which is like an invisible shield around her body.
She's basically unkillable while its up.
Wiz: Though the Aura itself it's indestructible, it can be depleted after taking a lot of damage and needs time to restore itself.
Without it she cannot use her Semblance and she's much more vulnerable.
Boomstick: But that Aura is pretty freakin' tough.
It was just enough to take a full on hit from a geiser of lava.
Wiz: Lava can reach temperatures of 1.200 degrees celsius enough to melt iron.
And during a food fight of all things.
She was thrown into a pillar so hard it was obliterated.
Boomstick: Hey Wiz I've been in a few food fights in my time.
That shit gets intense and that one's tamed by comparison.
Wiz: But greatest of all: With a combination of Ice and her Aura she survived riding a top of a speeding train crashing through concrete.
By measuring the diameter of the resulting hole and plain values of fragmentation.
This means Weiss survived an impact equal to over 7 tons of TNT.
Boomstick: But it's not just Weiss that's tough, her Glyphs are strong enough to catapult the Arma Gigas and with her ice powers she knocked around a giant mech built for fightin' Godzilla sized Grimm.
Wiz: Compared to the height of her temmate nearby. It appears she created over 2,000 metric tons of ice.
Obviously that much ice doesn't fit in two vials of Dust.
She's likely using the ocean as a base to insert fusion energy and vaporization energy on the nitrogen in the air; there by freezing at like so at most this would require over 900 billions joules of energy.
Equivalent detonating around 230 tons of TNT.
Boomstick: Wow no wonder she can push this bid old robot around.
Plus Weiss can also move super quick, dodgin' missiles and even hittin' bullets out of the air.
Wiz: And with Time Dilation she can stay nearly untouchable while taking out her opponents in the blink of an eye.
Boomstick: Like that old sayin': "Float like an innertube on a lazy river and sting like your pee in the morning".
Wiz: Please go to a doctor.
Throughout her journey Weiss has overcome all sorts of dangers.
But her most difficult task may have been the moment her father cut her off the family.
Leaving her financially broke and dismissed from her birthright.
Boomstick: Aw boohoo no more allowance.
Still she power through and made a name for herself as a huntress.
With the RWBY team at her back I think she's found the family she truly belongs to.
Weiss: I'm more than a name.
Wiz: In the early 2000s you'd be hard-pressed to find someone in Japan who who didn't know of the Kirijo group.
A global conglomerate involved in nearly every aspect of daily life and the heiress to this impressive company was a young girl named Mitsuru Kirijo.
Boomstick: But unknown to her.
The family company was into some pretty sketchy stuff.
Her grandpa started experimentin' with some sort of mental world called the mind place.
Wiz: Or more officially the Collective Unconscious.
A realm connected to every living being subconscious mind.
And within the Collective Unconscious dwells Shadows.
Fragments of human psyche which often appear as malevolent monsters.
Boomstick: They're basically demons.
Wiz: Kind of.
However, there's another sort more directly integrated with the minds of individual people effectively becoming their Shadow Selves.
Boomstick: Though some of them are demons who want to kill you and some of them are demons who are part of your brain?
Wiz: Eh, close enough.
Boomstick: Well Gramps tried to get the Shadows for himself, but does anyone who try to summon demons will tell you.
Trust me.
It never works out.
And when it does...
It doesn't.
Wiz: Chaos incarnate erupted.
The resulting explosion from his experiment released the Shadows into reality to prey on an unsuspecting populace.
And unveiled the Tartarus a citadel between worlds.
The Earth was drastically changed with a new dark hour.
An extra hour of time occurring at midnight.
Boomstick: Most folks didn't notice though the world basically freezes in time during the dark hour includin' people.
So nobody's got to pick up a new 25 hour clock.
'Cause when the hour runs up everythin' continues like nothin' happened.
It's like gettin' an extra hour of secret sleep.
Wiz: But some people are able to operate during this hour including Mitsuru.
Which she decided to take full advantage of.
Boomstick: Yeah she felt pretty guilty about her family basically ruinin' everythin' and sendin' hundreds of murder monsters into the world.
So she swore to fix her grandpappy's mess.
Wiz: And while she is certainly skilled with a rapier thanks to her time in fencing club.
A single sword would never be enough to combat the hordes of Shadows.
Luckily her first experience with the dark hour helped her out in this regard.
Boomstick: That's one way to put it she and her dad were almost murdered by spooky Shadows.
Wiz: But this event also led to an awakening with the threat of death itself mere seconds away.
Mitsuru dug deep within and found a new weapon.
Her Shadow Self.
Boomstick: And that's how she became a Person user.
Wiz: Persona user.
Boomstick: Yeah that's what I said.
Wiz: Thanks to this fateful night Mitsuru can summon a manifestation of her personality known as a Persona.
This was Penthesilea who would eventually evolve into her ultimate form Artemisia.
Boomstick: Artie is the best non imaginary friend you could ask for.
She's got all sorts of powerful ice spells.
She can heal Mitsuru's wounds.
She can drain someone's energy and add it to Mitsuru's own and she can blow people up with Mega-di-uh-um...
It's a big purple kaboom that ignores special defenses.
Anyway and to top it all she's got a kinky ice whip.
Wiz: While Artemisia cannot really be killed.
She does have her limits when a Persona is overtaxed or takes too much damage it becomes broken.
And unusable for a short time.
Boomstick: And since Artemisia is technically part of Mitsuru mind when the Persona gets hurt so does she.
Wiz: But this connection also grant Mitsuru her own set of special powers.
She's physically superior to most others.
She can also sense the locations of people and layouts of buildings through Analytical Clairvoyance.
She's also immune to ice and the cold.
So I'm not really sure why she needs a giant fur coat.
Boomstick: Everyone needs a good fur coat Wiz.
Come on.
Wiz: I guess it is a pretty nice coat.
Anyway Mitsuru wasn't going into battle alone.
She gathered a team of Persona users to form the Specialized Extra Curricular Execution Squad or S.E.E.S. which is much easier to say.
The teens set out to explore the Tartarus.
Combat the Shadows and put an end to the dark hour.
While also scoring some extra credits because it was technically an after school club.
Boomstick: Japanese schools are way more hardcore than ours.
Wiz: And with a team at her back Mitsuru needed a tool to reliably summon Personas with.
And so came the Evoker.
Which might be a little disturbing to some people.
So...
Fair warning.
Boomstick: Yeah looks just like a gun and that's kind of the point.
The idea it's to use the gun to create an extremely dramatic experience similar to how Mitsuru first invoke her own Persona.
Wiz: Specifically this is accomplish by aiming the thing at your face and pulling the trigger.
Boomstick: Yeah that's definitely not how guns are supoosed to work.
Wiz: Questionable concepts aside, Mitsuru and her Persona are an absolute terror on the battlefield.
Boomstick: OH GOD!
Did...
Did she just cut that thing's dick!?
Wiz: Yes she did Boomstick.
And it was a godamn canon.
Boomstick: Oh the horrible but also canon dick.
Wiz: Mitsuru is quick enough to dodge gunfire, heck another Persona user it's even fast enough to outrun a bullet fired by a Magnum.
Boomstick: Those usually have a muscle velocity over 360 meters per second.
Wiz: And Personas can move even faster.
Naoto's could react to and catch an arrow in miliseconds.
And Mitsuru has defeated her in battle.
Boomstick: But hey about that time Mitsuru and her whole team survived an explosion that totally wreck this whole bridge.
Now in my humble opinion usin' my very own handcrafted munitions measurement chart.
I say this blast falls somewhere in the range of "Oh Shit we're Dead".
Wiz: Interesting but let's use some real science now.
Boomstick: THIS IS REAL SCIENCE.
I tested explosions and they're real effects on real people just like you would.
I'm a real scientist now.
Wiz: But that's...
Wait real people?
Boomstick.
Where are the interns?
Boomstick: Huh I...
Hey look I got you "that" coat that you wanted.
Wiz: Oh thank you.
It's so soft.
Boomstick: (whispering) So are the interns.
But hey uh Wiz there's one more math thing you gotta do.
By workin' with another Persona user Yukari.
Mitsuru helped freezed up this giant creppy puppet monster.
Wiz: Well again taking nitrogen into a count as in comprises 70% of air's makeup.
We can apply it's required fusion energy and vaporization energy to find this feat would need an energy output equal to 60 kilotons of TNT.
Though this can't all be attributed to Mitsuru as she did had help.
Boomstick: That still hell a lot of ice.
Mitsuru and Artemisia sure make a powerful pair.
Wiz: And even after sucessfully ending the dark hour and redeeming her family name.
Mitsuru continued battling for people everywhere.
One Shadow at a time.
Mitsuru: This appears to be just the beginning.
Wiz: All right the combatants are set.
And we've run the data through all possibilities.
Boomstick: But first I'm all out of pocket chicken so let's get somethin' better with Blue Apron.
Wiz: By now, you've probably heard of Blue Apron the leading meal kit delivery service in the US.
Boomstick: Choose your meals each week get the ingredients delivered to your doorstep and whip up a meal usin' the easy to follow directions provided.
Wiz: With an ever-changing mix of meat fish and vegetarian recipes to choose from.
You're all set for a tasty summer.
Boomstick: Who has time to think of meal plans and go get the ingredients yourself anyways.
Not me.
This way I cut out all the borin' stuff and get right to the awesome parts.
Wiz: It's been a huge help to both my schedule and my eating habits.
There's plenty of wholesome and healthy choices to pick from and if you're not very experienced in the kitchen.
This is a great way to learn some new recipes.
Boomstick: My favorite part is feelin' like a master chef makin' creative and delicious meals with my own hands.
You guys really need to try it out.
Wiz: It's pretty nice coming home knowing I'll have a delicious meal I can whip up with ease.
To start making delicious brag worthy meals at home without the hassle.
Try Blue Apron.
Boomstick: Check out this week's menu and get 60 dollars off at Blueapron.com/Battle.
That's Blueapron.com/Battle
Wiz: Blue Apron "A Better Way to Cook!"
Boomstick: But right now, IT'S TIME FOR A DEATH BATTLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Mitsuru: Such good form.
You fight with a sense of ease.
Weiss: Thank you.
But flattery will get you nowhere.
Mitsuru: Fighting with ice?
Ironic.
And a waste of time.
Artemisia!
Weiss: Can't touch me, Ice Queen!
Huh.
So that's what it's like.
Mitsuru: (screaming)
Weiss: (screams)
Mitsuru: As annoying as this was.
I have to admit.
You fought vailiantly.
But now you'll fall by my own hand.
Weiss: I can do this on my own.
Mitsuru: Artemisia!
No mercy!
Weiss: How...
Ah.
How strong are you?
Mitsuru: Strong enough.
Weiss: (screams)
(screaming)
Announcer: KO
Boomstick: Well Wiz glad we got this coats 'cause that was...
cool.
Wiz: Weiss was incredibly skilled, her versatility certainly proved a challenge for Mitsuru.
And she held a decent advantage in speed thanks to time dilation.
Though to be fair Mitsuru's Analytical Clairvoyance meant to what been pretty difficult for Weiss to get the jump on her.
Plus Naoto's Persona had to move around mach 7 to catch that arrow when it such a short amount of time.
Though Artemisia must be capable of a similar speeds.
Boomstick: Yeah but slowin' down time seems like an instant whip move doesn't it?
Wiz: In some ways yes but we look for who can win the most matches overall.
Not just a couple of times out of a thousand possibilities thanks to one good move.
Boomstick: Yeah even though Weiss had plenty of attack options.
Mitsuru defenses were just too strong.
Like how she completely canceled Weiss' ice attack.
Wiz: This presented a unique problem for Weiss.
Who was always been fairly reliant to ice techniques.
She was forced to use Dust when she has less experience.
Boomstick: Plus Weiss and her summons have never dealt damage anywhere close to that "Oh Shit we're Dead" explosion that Mitsuru survived.
By takin' the diameter of the blast here and comparin' to real life nukes.
Then considerin' how far Mitsuru was the center of it.
She took a hit worth over 21 tons of TNT.
Definitely higher than Weiss 7 ton train feat.
Wiz: Frankly Mitsuru survivability and power output outclass Weiss.
Even if we cut her major Ice feat in half since she was aided by Yukari.
Mitsuru's still output a hundred thirty more energy than Weiss when she attacked that mech.
Boomstick: But numbers aren't everythin' right?
Wiz: Sure there's always a new way to look at things.
For instance Weiss' arsenal was limited by her Aura and Dust supply.
While Mitsuru had no such constraint on her own powers.
Boomstick: It takes a long time to restore Aura and remember when a Persona gets broken it can just come back a few seconds later.
Wiz: Which was extremely useful as Artemisia could heal Mitsuru at anytime.
Undoing whatever progress Weiss had made.
Boomstick: Oh man what an ice cold move.
Wiz: Well Weiss' speed and versatility put up a good fight.
Mitsuru's greater defense, raw power and more reliable arsenal put too much for the huntress.
Boomstick: She had "snow" chance.
Wiz: The winner is Mitsuru Kirijo.
Josh: Hey thanks for watching DEATH BATTLE!
Don't go away just yet we're about to announce the next fight.
Ben: And if you haven't seen the latest episode of our podcast: The DEATH BATTLE CAST.
You can click it right there.