Hey everyone, and welcome to TopThink. Today, we will learn about thirteen signs you should
not trust someone. Now, let’s begin.
A surprising number of people have trouble putting their trust in others. Some of us are unwilling to
trust our friends and partners, even if they have repeatedly earned our trust and loyalty. Maybe
you give your trust to everyone you meet and often pay the price for your naivety. Whether you trust
people too much or not enough, you’ve probably asked yourself this question many times before,
“how do I know if and when I can trust someone in my life?”
Trust is, in many ways, foundational in all of our relationships, romantic or otherwise.
For example, you trust your coworkers to fulfill their responsibilities.
You trust your friends to stand by you and keep your secrets. Over time, you learn who in your
life can and can’t be trusted. There might be someone at your job who doesn’t show up when it
counts. You might have friends who have betrayed you in the past. Sometimes it takes a frustrating
or painful experience to learn whether someone is as trustworthy as you think. But what if you could
learn this powerful lesson before you get hurt? Imagine you recently met someone you really
like — someone you’re interested in dating and perhaps getting to know on a deeper level. Your
feelings for this person are strong, but you’re hesitant to dive into a relationship. Why? Because
you’re afraid of getting hurt. Maybe you’ve been attracted to the wrong kinds of people in
the past, and you’re worried you’ll make the same mistake. Luckily, there are easy ways to determine
whether someone will betray you down the road; you just need to know what behaviors to look out for.
In this video, we’re going to examine thirteen signs that you’ve met a friend,
partner, or even a professional connection that shouldn’t be trusted. At first, this person
might seem charming, loyal, and consistent. They might tell you how trustworthy they are,
but if you put your faith in them, you may be setting yourself up for disappointment.
Before you trust anyone, take a closer look at how they talk and behave. If you notice these
telltale signs of an untrustworthy person, your trust may be better placed elsewhere.
1. Keeping Big Secrets Untrustworthy people don’t
like sharing important pieces of information about their life. If you ask them what they do for work,
for example, they might not give you a clear answer. The same might be true of their
relationship status or their personal history. That doesn’t mean everyone who keeps secrets
is a bad person. It’s perfectly normal to keep secrets, especially from people you don’t know
very well. But there are certain things you can expect everyone to share, like the place they’re
from or their field of work. If someone in your life hides fundamental traits about their lives,
they may not be as trustworthy as you think. 2. Paranoid Projection
Trust is a two-way street. People who are willing to trust others are usually the most trustworthy
people you’ll meet. On the other hand, if someone is suspicious or paranoid, they may have something
to hide. In many cases, these people unconsciously project their untrustworthy behavior. For example,
someone who is unfaithful to their partner may accuse their partner of being unfaithful to them.
Whatever they’re so paranoid about, they may be guilty of the same thing.
3. The Empathy Gap Trusting someone makes you vulnerable. To trust
someone is to let them into your world and give them a chance to understand you. Unfortunately,
some people will use your vulnerabilities to hurt you and benefit themselves. So,
how can you distinguish between people who do and don’t have your best interests in mind?
Trustworthy people tend to be highly empathetic. They want to understand things from other points
of view and feel genuine remorse when others are disappointed. Because they’re empathetic,
they value things like trust and loyalty and never wish any harm upon the people they care about.
On the other hand, untrustworthy people tend to be less empathetic or, at the very least, less
interested in the experiences of others. They’re willing to abuse your trust because they don’t see
the world from your point of view. An unempathetic person doesn’t feel bad about stabbing you in the
back, so be careful with how much you share. 4. Fudging the Details
Have you ever heard someone you know tell the same story in two different ways? Untrustworthy
people manipulate the truth in whatever way flatters their persona. Sometimes that means
fudging the details or changing the entire order of events. As long as they look good,
they won’t hesitate to replace fact with fiction. If you catch them in the act, they might say they
forgot or made an innocent mistake, but people who regularly alter the truth cannot be trusted.
5. Patterns of Dishonesty An untrustworthy person has
likely been untrustworthy before. They may have cheated on a partner, stolen from an employer, or
betrayed a friend. Maybe they’ve been unreliable in smaller ways, like canceling plans or failing
to deliver on their promises. They have a pattern of letting people down or taking advantage of
their kindness... and that’s a huge red flag. Why? Because this person knows how much they
can get away with. They’re accustomed to neglecting loved ones and manipulating
expectations. They know how to pass the blame and avoid responsibility. If someone demonstrates a
pattern of untrustworthy behavior, don’t let yourself become their next target.
6. Pushing Your Limits Untrustworthy people are
frequently disrespectful of others’ boundaries. If you tell them you’re uncomfortable,
they’ll press the issue, make fun of your sensitivity, or ignore your boundaries altogether.
Why? Because they’re not respectful of you as a person. They may even experience a kind
of thrill from invading your personal bubble. Anyone who accidentally crosses your boundaries
isn’t a bad person. It’s also okay for people to ask why your boundaries are important to you, but
if someone consistently makes you uncomfortable, there’s a good chance they’re not on your side.
7. Misplaced Validation Do you know someone who
talks behind people’s backs? Maybe they share embarrassing stories about their partner or
gossip about their friends. They gain a sense of satisfaction or validation from secretly tearing
people down. If you know who spreads gossip, don’t get too close to them, and don’t be too
trusting. Anyone who talks badly about others is just as likely to talk badly about you.
8. Breaking the Rules Do you know someone who likes
to break the rules? Some people get a thrill from defying the law or cheating the system.
You might know someone who steals little things from convenience stores or avoids responsibility
for something they’ve done wrong. They might justify their behavior, saying the rules are
unfair or the system is stacked against them. But deep down, this person may believe they
can do anything without getting caught, whether it’s breaking the rules or betraying your trust.
9. Buying Your Affection Do you know someone who gives excessive
compliments and outrageous gifts? They do so much for you that you’re starting to get uncomfortable,
and that discomfort only makes you feel guilty and confused. You want to be grateful for
these thoughtful gestures, but what they’re doing isn’t as kind or generous as it seems.
Think of their gifts like a juicy worm tied on a silver hook. To a fish, the worm looks appetizing
enough, but underneath is something sharp and dangerous. In the same way, be cautious of anyone
who is constantly trying to buy your affection because this person might have a secret agenda.
10. Two-Faced Behavior Behind closed doors,
this person acts like your best friend. They share your interests and tell you
how important you are in their life. But around other people, they want nothing to do with you.
This two-faced behavior is a common sign of self-interest and distrust. A friend
who genuinely loves and respects you is proud to be seen together. Their public persona matches
their private one, so they have nothing to hide. On the other hand, if your friend
creates distance from you in public, they may care more about their image than your trust.
11. Rejecting Their Mistakes
Untrustworthy people struggle to admit when they’ve done something wrong. They don’t take
responsibility for their mistakes, and they often blame their failures on the people around them.
Imagine if this person did or said something that offended you. Could you trust them to
own their mistakes and apologize? Or would they bend the truth or pretend
nothing happened? If the latter sounds familiar, this person isn’t as trustworthy as you think.
12. Narcissistic Charm
Do you know someone who is self-absorbed or narcissistic? A narcissist is someone with
an inflated opinion of themselves. They love to be admired and exhibit a false
sense of superiority over the rest of the world. Because these people only care about themselves,
they’re more willing to play with people’s feelings and take advantage of someone’s trust.
Narcissistic personalities may seem like good people at first. They can be charming
and attractive, giving you reasons to enjoy their company. But if you notice narcissistic
personality traits, like lying or arrogant behavior, proceed with caution. No matter
how charming they seem, narcissistic people will always put themselves first.
13. Instinctual Anxiety Sometimes you don’t have a good reason for not
trusting someone. You simply get a weird feeling around them. Deep down in your gut, someone might
rub you the wrong way, making you feel stressed or anxious for reasons you can’t explain. But this
mysterious feeling is more telling than you think. Even if you aren’t aware of any suspicious
behavior, your brain is picking up on subtle cues and body language. There’s a reason you get a good
feeling around some people and a bad feeling around others. Trust your instincts because not
everyone is as trustworthy as they seem. Thank you for watching TopThink and be
sure to subscribe because more incredible content is on the way.