Jon: Previously on "Is it a Good Idea to Microwave This?"...
Jory: So, here's our Sharp microwave. We have our "device" inside of it.
Jon: Alright, everybody, remember- if he gets killed, get it on tape!
Ezra: (laughs) Oh, [beep]!
Jon: Come on- boom!
*Diane explodes*
Hello, and welcome to a very exciting episode of "Is it a Good Idea to Microwave This?" Today, we're gonna have microwave-on-microwave action!
It's gonna be a battle between Diane and Sandra. Um, yeah, it's not gonna be much of a fight that Diane's gonna put up, but we're actually gonna put her parts inside of Sandra.
So, let's go autopsy and find the parts now!
Jory: This is the remains of Diane. You may notice that was... Well, that used to be something I loved... Now, it's like I'm chopping her up to get rid of the body...
Jon: What've you got there, Jory?
Jory: Okay, so what I've got here, I think, is obviously a huge magnet. It's broken. I'd imagine the dynamite kinda had something to do with that...
Jory: I have no idea what this is! And it's quite heavy. It looks like it's an electromagnet, which I'm not sure... Yeah...
Jon: Jory screws Diane! Where have I seen that before?
Jory: I screw her to pieces! I tear her apart!
I'm not sure if the screwdriver was magnetic to begin with, but it is now!
Jory: I'm quite baffled right now. I know nothing about microwaves, mind you, but I know what they can microwave!
Jon: You're a specialist- what are you talking about?
Yeah, but that's like how a psychologist knows a lot about how people act, but you cut a person open and you give it to them, and they know nothing about what they're seeing!
Jory: And that's kinda what I have here. I'm not sure which is the stomach and which is the brain!
I never passed anatomy. I have no idea...
Either way, this one looks like a gun, and this one, is just, well, it's heavy! Feel how heavy this is!
Jon: What the hell?!
Jon: Anything that has that much weight concentrated...
Jory: Maybe it's a coil that, if I touch it, will discharge into me!
Jon: Nope! I'm wearing gloves, though! I'm the smart one!
*theme song plays*
Jory: Let's go roast some nuts!
Jory: And, as always, our Sharp microwave!
Jory: It's never a good idea, unless you want an explosion!
Jory: Stopping, stopping!
Jory: Safety is our number-one concern.
Jon: Wow! That's a lotta smoke!
Jory: The masks- they do nothing!
Jory: We also hide behind this big tin foil shield. Nobody likes roasted nuts!
Ezra: Is it a good idea?
Jory: (laughs) Absolutely!
Jory: Is it a good idea to microwave this?
Well, let's find out! Here at the Jory Caron Laboratory, safety is our number-one concern. That's why we have these masks.
And, as always, our tin foil shield. It's to protect our nuts, 'cause no one likes roasted nuts when psychos come and find where you live! You know what I'm talkin' about?
Jory: Okay, so we also have this fan and the new love of my life, the Sharp carousel microwave Sandra. Beats the hell outta this bitch!
Jon: (laughs)
Jory: She's so heavy! Am I right? That's why I left her!
Jory: So, in goes Diane.
Jon: We're gonna do it, Jory! We're gonna microwave a microwave!
Jory: We are actually microwaving a microwave!
Jory: (imitating annoying fans on YouTube comments) "Microwave a microwave! Ha, ha!" We're doing it right now!
Jory: And I know now you're gonna post: "Microwave my head" or something. We're not doin' that! That's just so dumb!
Jory: Unless you send us your head, in which case, we probably will microwave it!
I wonder how long I should put that in there for? Probably about five minutes, just to make sure it's done!
Jon: Yeah, do a round number for Diane! It's what she would've wanted!
Jory: Okay, so everyone back up!
Jon: Sandra vs. Diane! Who will win?!
Jory: Who will win?!
Jon: Sandra vs. Diane!
Jory: (in boxing announcer's voice) In this corner, we have Sandra! And, oddly enough, inside of her, we have Diane in two parts!
Jon: In the other, inside of the first corner!
*Jory hits Sandra*
Jon: That's makin' a lot of crackling noise, guys!
Jon: That sounds like the microwave!
Ryan: It looks like the light! That's the actual light from the microwave! That's how bright it used to be.
Jon: Uh-oh! It's makin' a lot of funny noises! It's going... (in high-pitched voice) "Na-na-na-na-na-na"!
*popping noise comes from Sandra*
Did you hear that?!
Jon: Yeah, I heard somethin'!
Ryan: What the hell WAS that?!
Jon: Well, problem solved! It stopped.
Jory: Remember when we usually, like, blow stuff up in the microwave, it turns it off? Like, that turned it off!
Ryan: What was that noise? There was, like, that weird, like, noise, too.
Let's go and find out!
Jon: I'm gonna take a wild guess and say it had something to do with the giant magnetron next to the other giant magnetron! When forces collide!
That MIGHT be! I'm thinking it's the spirit of Diane killing Sandra from the inside! Jealousy, people- jealousy will kill ya!
Jon: Interesting!
Jory: It's just as heavy!
Jon: Does Sandra still work?
Jory: I don't know- let's find out!
Jon: Well, see, we know that a CD...
It usually pops and sizzles right away, right?
Jon: Almost within seconds!
Jon: So, this'll be a test.
Jory: It's not even turning anymore!
Jon: Hello? Hello? (pounds on Sandra)
*Jory pounds on Sandra some more*
Jon: Oh, well, that's great!
Jon: That CD didn't do anything! It's nothin'!
Jory: That CD did nothing!
Jon: Jory, you broke the microwave!
I did not break the microwave! Diane broke the microwave!
Jon: Oh, no!
Jory: Is it a good idea to microwave a microwave? No, because two wrongs don't make a right! And they certainly don't make a working microwave!
Well, that's it for "Is it a Good Idea to Microwave This?" No, it wasn't! I'm your host, Jory Caron. What're we gonna do now?!
*end credits play*