>> IT TURNS OUT TRUELOVE SUCKS FOR YOUR SEX LIFE, THAT IS NOT
JUST BASED ON MY OWN SAD EXPERIENCE.
WE HAVE A
STUDY TO BACK IT UP.
SO IF YOU SEE SOMEONE AND YOU
HAVE A LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT AND IT IS AMAZING, THAT CONFIRMS
YOUR BELIEFS.
BUT IF IT DOESN'T WORK OUT IN THE BEGINNING, THEN
THAT CAN MAKE YOU THINK YOU ARE NOT MEANT TO BE WITH THAT
PERSON.
SEXUAL DIFFERENCES JUST MEANS UNSATISFACTORY SEX IN THE
BEGINNING PARTS OF
RELATIONSHIPS.
THERE ARE SOME PEOPLE THAT HAVE BAD SEX, WHICH
THEN MAKES THEM MOVE ONTO SOMEONE
ELSE.
BUT YOU CAN ACTUALLY MOVE PAST THAT.
>> I THINK THIS IS GREAT NEWS, AND BAD NEWS.
FIRST OF ALL I
WOULD LIKE TO SAY I KNEW IT.
ALL THAT TALK ABOUT LOVE AT FIRST
SIGHT ñ I KNOW IT IS ROMANTIC AND I AM A BAD GUY FOR BEING
BAH HUMBUG ABOUT IT, BUT YOU
ARE WRONG.
YOU JUST GOT TURNED DOWN BY THE GUY OR GIRL.
YOUR
ERECTION DOES NOT MEAN THAT YOU HAVE SOME SORT OF COSMIC LOVE
CONNECTION.
PEOPLE THAT THINK THAT WILL LEAD TO A DEEPER LOVE
AND UNDERSTANDING, WE NOW HAVE DATA THAT YOU ARE WRONG.
I WAS RIGHT, AND YOU ARE WRONG.
>> WHEN IT COMES TO LOVE THAT IS WHAT MATTERS AT THE END OF THE
DAY.
>> THAT IS RIGHT, PROVING YOU WRONG.
BUT SERIOUSLY, THERE IS A
IMPORTANT POINT HERE.
I AM GOING TO RELATE THIS TO A DIFFERENT
STORY ABOUT WHETHER YOU TEACH YOUR KIDS TO BE SMART, AND HOW
IMPORTANT THAT IS, AND YOU KEEP
GIVING THEM ñ CONFIDENCE.
OR YOU TEACH THEM THE VALUE OF HARD
WORK.
IT TURNS OUT THERE IS A CLEAR RIGHT ANSWER.
DON'T KEEP
TELLING THEM THEY ARE SMART, THAT IS NOT THE RIGHT STRATEGY.
WHY?
YOU MIGHT THINK THAT IS COUNTERINTUITIVE.
IT IS BECAUSE
THEY THEN THINK I'M EITHER GOOD AT THIS, OR I AM NOT, WHETHER IT
IS MATH OR READING OR WHATEVER.
THE MINUTE THEY ENCOUNTER A
PROBLEM THEY SAY I MUST NOT BE GOOD AT IT AND THEY GIVE UP.
WHEREAS IF YOU TELL THEM THE WHOLE POINT IS YOU GET SUCCESS
BASED ON HOW HARD YOU WORK, THEY SAY OH I AM NOT GOOD AT IT, BUT
THAT IS OKAY I JUST NEED TO WORK
HARDER.
AND GREAT MAJORITY OF THE TIME THEY GET BETTER
RESULTS.
FOR SEX IT IS THE SAME
THING.
IF YOU THINK IT IS A MAGICAL LOVE CONNECTION, AND IT
DOESN'T WORK ON ONE OR TWO
OCCASIONS YOU MAY GIVE UP ON IT IMMEDIATELY.
WHEREAS THE OTHER
COUPLE WHO IS RATIONAL SAYS YOU DID IT WRONG OR THE WRONG ñ THEN
THEY GO ON AND HAVE GREAT SEX BECAUSE THEY FIGURE OUT WHAT THE
OTHER ONE LIKES.
>> THIS IS A TOPIC THAT WE DON'T TALK ABOUT MUCH, SO IT IS EASY
TO BE IN YOUR OWN BUBBLE.
AT THE END OF THE DAY THIS IS A COMPLEX
WAY OF SAYING THAT COMMUNICATION IN SEX IS IMPORTANT.
THAT IS
ALL THAT IT TAKES.
ARE YOU ABLE TO COMMUNICATE WHAT YOU LIKE AND
FIND OUT WHAT THEY LIKE, AND ARE YOU CONFIDENT AND OPEN ENOUGH IN
ORDER TO DO THAT IN THE FIRST
PLACE?
IF YOU CAN DO THAT YOU WILL START TO DEVELOP MORE
TOGETHER, THAT MAKES YOU MORE HAPPY WITH THE RELATIONSHIP.
THEY SAY THIS ALSO HAS A PROTECTIVE EFFECT ON COUPLES
RELATIONSHIPS THROUGH TOUGH
TIMES, LIKE HAVING KIDS.
ESPECIALLY ONCE YOU CONSIDER IF
YOU ARE THINKING ABOUT OVERALL
LIFE SATISFACTION, YOUR RELATIONSHIP SATISFACTION IS A
BIG PART OF THAT.
SEXUAL COMMUNICATION MIGHT BE THE MOST IMPORTANT THING
IN
THE WORLD.