all right
true story
stop saying okay okay
true story I was in Spain Natalia I love
you uh visiting a friend and she was
talking to her father on the phone and
all I heard was
and I knew exactly what she was talking
about
she was saying okay okay okay okay okay
okay okay okay
and just from the tone and knowing what
that word meant I knew the conversation
without hearing another word
why am I telling you this because I just
said stop saying okay okay
the last video I did say stop saying
very I literally said to people it is a
very good word I even said very and
people were you said stop saying Theory
but then you used it and I said it's a
great word we use it the difference
between myself and a person learning
English or English speakers and a person
learning English is we have a wider
vocabulary so we can express ourselves
differently and I'm trying to introduce
something for you to have greater
clarification that means being clear and
when you're speaking and give you tools
to do that and then if you want to say
okay all the time please do but you
might notice when you say things in a
different variety you will get different
information from the people you're
speaking to
and one of the things I will teach you
today is something many English speakers
complain about
that when foreign speakers learn they
say okay at this situation and they're
like oh because I was thinking because
in English we don't usually do it this
way I'll get there you'll know exactly
what it is and if you're an English
speaker watching this you go yeah all
the all the freak into every single time
you know what I mean anyway so I said
stop saying okay and I wrote two oks you
can write both
listen carefully
if you're doing a formal paper or
something professional please use this
okay that's why I wrote it in blue but
if you're texting a friend or something
and it's casual you can use this okay
okay okay
formal informal hence red think
carefully if you want to be safe just
write this okay all the time you'll
never have a problem okay so
why is Okay popular I'll start with that
because some of you will be like well if
we're not supposed to say it why it is a
very good word
okay is an exclamation okay I'm
exclaiming yeah okay this sounds good
asking for permission right is it okay
if I do this are you okay with that
asking and giving permission sufficient
oh there's a sufficient but not great
when I studied logic when I was in
university it was like something is
sufficient but it doesn't have enough
sufficient when you're saying this it
means it's gonna say it's okay it's good
it works but it's not the best
how's the food okay it's okay I can eat
it I won't die that doesn't mean I'm
enjoying it describing oneself how are
you and this is the one I was talking
about
foreign people
when somebody says to you how are you
please don't say okay
in our brains
especially if a male's talking to a
female
hey baby how you doing
I'm okay
what's wrong something's wrong
something's wrong we don't take it as in
it's good we're like something's wrong
usually if I'm I can tell you right now
if you come to me and you go how are you
I'm okay I'm not okay I am not okay but
I don't want to talk about it so please
don't say that I will teach you other
things to say but this is the one that
gets if you see people look funny when
you say when and I have a good friend
she does this she'll go I'm okay with a
big smile
when I see her personally I get it but
when I don't she'll text I'm okay and
I'm like did I do something wrong is
something wrong what's going on no I'm
okay I'm like you don't get it that's
not how we work you have to say I'm good
I'm great and you want the truth we
don't care if you're good or you're
great just don't say okay
okay
and I did that on purpose for all those
people that he said it ten times
and when you're agreeing with someone
you're like okay okay yeah okay you're
agreeing you're letting the conversation
continue so now that I've said why it's
popular why don't we talk about why you
should stop that's thing stop saying
okay
why should you stop saying okay number
one it lacks strong commitment
if you've ever asked somebody to do
something with you like hey you want to
go for dinner and they're like okay do
you feel like they want to go oh you
don't feel like they want to go so what
you might want to say is use this
instead for sure yeah for sure yes
yes why don't you just say yes
absolutely all right or this one why not
it sounds brilliant why not yes it's
because I'm so excited why not I can't
think of anything better to do okay this
is better than saying okay
now it lacks emotion
how is the meal it's okay
it says black and white and no not black
white it's gray it's okay like I told
you it's like a gray day it's not really
cold it's not wet there's not really
much of a sun it's okay it's a day
you're alive that's about it
so we can turn around and say
or I can say it's you relax motion if I
want to talk about my day sorry I could
say it's great fantastic it's
interesting or brilliant and you go why
would you write interesting well if you
said how's your day and I go interesting
now you're gonna whoa whoa what makes it
interesting well I just got this great
job offer or or this person over
it draws conversation by point about not
using okay is this when you dispense
with the word or not use the word okay
you open up more communication because
your choice of words leads people to
want to investigate and know more when
you say okay it's like being something
great there's nothing more to it no
conversation it's the death of your
conversation or language and you're here
to learn how to speak more with others
and communicate better this is what
we're doing here so now you start seeing
how these words and even a word like
interesting can draw out more
conversation
cool especially if you say interesting
they're going to go why is that person
saying this now next it doesn't
demonstrate you really want authentic
permission
if you say
is it okay if I take your book
it means I'm just asking you because
I've been told I have to ask you
but if I say hey are you sure it's okay
if I take your book I'm saying are you
sure I want to confirm with you another
thing you can say is it all right if
because it's right means correct right
is it all right if I take off next
Monday
I'm asking I'm genuinely asking you for
your permission I want authentic means
real your real permission because I
wanted to know it's okay with you I know
I want it but I want to know you're okay
with it saying okay again I want to know
that you're happy with this as well
I really care
okay now here not giving authentic
permission
do you mind if I take your car
okay
do you really think I want to say it's
like it's only like I'm being forced to
do it but if I say to you yeah go ahead
of course yeah no problem I'm totally
into it I'm not just giving
non-authentic permission I'm saying I'm
really believing this I'm happy to do
this with you for you and the last one I
just told you is this one here
it's when you can create unnecessary
concern if I say how are you and you're
like I'm okay
I'm okay
I'm gonna freak out I'm like dude what's
wrong with you but if you say I'm great
I'm good I'm well once again nobody
cares
we don't it's like when you say how are
you you say it because it's a social
convention that's what we do when we
meet each other hey how are you I'm good
me too I'm dying but I'm not going to
tell you that because we're just
crossing each other on the street right
but when you say okay that might stop
the person to go oh because that's not a
usual response
now I'm going to give you one little
thing about this and I kind of lied when
somebody says how are you if for
instance if I was walking I fell on the
ground like I'm okay I'm okay that's all
right that's okay that's you're saying
I'm not injured I'm not damaged in that
case it's okay but if someone is saying
how are you like today because I haven't
seen you totally different so if it's
just hey Tom how are you I'm good man
don't say I'm okay
but if Tom Falls you oh Tom Tom you okay
yeah I'm okay you're so good
fine note the difference because you'll
say oh well that's it if you have an
accident I'm okay it's fine perfectly
fine and acceptable you probably
wouldn't say I'm great I'm great that
wouldn't make sense I'd be like he's
he's hurt seriously Okay so
I hope this lesson has given you an
expansion in your vocabulary I know
there's some repetition but it's not the
repetition that's important it's your
understanding of why we're saying it we
want to give a stronger commitment to
what we're saying we want to give more
emotion we want to give a greater
demonstration I'm giving permission or I
really care when I'm asking for
permission I really care how you feel
and I don't want to create unnecessary
concern or create a situation that
didn't need to happen because of lack of
communication cool so use these you'll
get better communication but why don't
we test that right away and I'm going to
go back off this little click a trick
shift yeah that's not the click I'll
click we'll go to the board I'll teach
you a couple other things you might want
to know about the word okay and a quick
quiz to make sure you understand how to
use this and use it in your next
conversation right away cool
so
you have no idea how much I want to say
okay but I'm doing this lesson so so
here's our quiz to start off with and
then I'm going to move to your homework
and extra information
first Wing first one is if someone says
to you how is your day how should you
respond
interesting or absolutely
interesting remember what I said if you
say interesting it says something
happened that was not normal
so the other person now wants to talk to
you and we've created a conversation
that they'll go oh what happened right
and that's what you want more
conversation how about number two do you
want to see a movie later
why not why not it's like well why not
there's I can't think of anything better
to do if you say I'm good you could say
I'm good but don't
because if I say hey you want to see a
movie you're like I'm good it means no
no not with you I'm good no thanks no
thank you
so I just taught you something that has
nothing to do with okay if you want to
be kind of mean and someone says so
you wanna you wanna go out and be my my
girlfriend I'm good thanks nah it means
no so clearly you want to say why not to
show enthusiasm this is the emotion part
we're talking about next can I leave
you're at work hey can I leave 20
minutes early to get my child
what's the appropriate response a good
boss would say
no problem or interesting
a good boss is going to say no problem
it's okay go ahead if they say
interesting they're saying hmm 20
minutes early
interesting it's basically they don't
believe you they maybe think you're
lying so we don't want to say that we
want to say no problem go ahead of
course
what about number four how is the
weather today you know you're going
outside or you're talking to your friend
I want to go have a picnic how was the
weather today
go ahead or brilliant
you probably noticed I didn't write that
one down and you're like that's
confusing I don't know but what do you
think well go ahead is to get permission
but you're not asking for permission so
you're going to say brilliant well I
saved that one because man anyone
pulling up my pants here just so you
know anyone from England goes it's
brilliant it means excellent see I
taught you another vocabulary word I put
it in there when you weren't paying
attention so if you say it's brilliant
baby it's brilliant it means it's
amazing how's the food it's brilliant
and you're brilliant too because it also
means very smart you're brilliant okay
cool now the last one how are you please
get this one right I just told you how
it upsets many people who speak English
get it right how are you
is a great of or of course
I know you said great because as I said
you're brilliant yeah he said how are
you I'm great I'm well I'm fine good
thank you all right so now we've gone
through our quiz and I know you got
perfect on it I would like you to go
over here where we're going to learn
some other things about okay different
ways to use it which give a different
idea and a lot of this has to do with
tone or repetition let's go to the board
if someone says that is not okay
that is not okay it's unacceptable it's
not it's remember how I said okay means
is when I say that's not okay it's not e
it's no no that is unacceptable that is
not okay to speak to a woman like that
that is not okay to do this in your it's
unacceptable 100 right so what you're
like wow that went really quickly the
wrong way yep if someone ever assists
you that is not okay you have screwed up
made a big big mistake next this one's
interesting you have to watch for the
tone that's why I put the red Tone If
someone says this
okay
it means I'll do it but I don't want to
you're driving your car the police comes
and knocks over knocks in your window
you roll it down
you know uh you and mystery were driving
very quickly you need to slow it down
okay Officer okay I don't want to do it
I'm going to because I don't want to go
to jail okay
or your friend goes you need to pick up
the garbage you dropped okay
I'm going to but I don't want to
but you have to watch it because someone
make that same okay slow okay but a
sudden understanding if you say and then
the sun sorry about the Sun the earth
goes around the Sun I go okay oh I I
didn't understand that but now I do okay
sudden understanding tonality makes a
difference okay
okay yes no now you got it
what about this one okay okay okay okay
okay hurry up
yo you got it yeah yeah okay okay okay
okay yeah I got it I got it I got it I
got it I got it I got it got it I got it
sorry it means hurry up okay okay a
quick okay okay
now this is different this is a doubling
of okay but if you're here okay it means
got it so you go but it seems the same I
go one means hurry up like okay okay
okay okay okay yeah yeah hurry hurry
hurry the other one like okay I got it I
understand I'm saying it quickly so you
will stop talking to me all right so now
that we've got the little other little
pieces of okay I always want to go down
to something you can do to help yourself
use these other things I've taught you
and get greater understanding of this
by homework first thing with homework is
I want you to think where you could use
this now when I mean I've given you the
exact sentences but your next situation
you're in you're like okay say I just
said it okay so the next situation
you're in and you want to someone's
asking a question you're like I know I
don't have to say okay for this can I
say brilliant can I say great can I say
sure go ahead what can I say I have
practiced this because I've thought
about it so now I can use it that's what
I want from you
knowledge is no good unless you
understand it and you can use it and I
know you'll be able to use this next you
can use two examples that's why they
wrote here and someone says can I call
you later I want you and normally I
would help you but I'm like no you're
big kids now you don't need to have
someone Hold Your Hand anymore think of
two ways you can say something if some
if someone says can I call you later
what two things did I teach you out of
all of them I taught that you could say
I could say this absolutely oops
no more hints all right
next one is if someone says how was your
day what two different ways you can
answer
see you're not a robot you don't want to
just have one answer and just can repeat
it if you notice for each thing I gave
you two or three different ways of
addressing or saying something so
practice them so that when you do this
and think about where you can use it
you'll have two or three ways to use it
and now you're becoming like a native
speaker
you're welcome anyway
I want to give you my quote before I go
this one's from John Lennon
John Lennon said everything will be all
right and sorry everything will be okay
in the end
if it's not okay it's not the end
and I think this lesson is good
and it's okay and this is the end of my
lesson but what I would like you to do
is subscribe there's a notification
button down at the bottom
hit it hit the Bell so you'll get all
the videos when they come out okay don't
forget to hit like so you can see me
come back again in your inbox
have a good one I'll see you later okay