So what you're saying is
I got half a slipper?
[music]
Ok so I found these on Gmarket
I was looking for something else unrelated to these slippers
What were you looking for?
How did you find these?
It was a long, complicated Big Bang story,
and somehow I saw these in the sidebar
I clicked on them, and now we have
these ridiculous little half slippers
How is this related to Big Bang?
SSHHHHHhhhHhHHHHhhhHHHhhhHH
Anyways, I couldn't figure out what they were
at first I thought they were for cleaning
I thought you put your hands in it
and you're like scrubbing the counters and stuff
But then I looked and saw all the pictures
and, basically, it's supposed to be
they show this complicated diagram of a woman in heels.
Your feet go up, and then it hurts the arch of your feet,
I don't really wear heels, but, you know.
I don't wear heels either.
You sure? You're not like a Teen Top thing.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA I know.
Teaser photos
What the hell were they thinking?
It's just that, nowadays, I'd like to think
that most guise haven't worn heels
Like, in the Kpop world, it seems like
a lot of guise wear heels.
Teen Top...
And not just Teen Top! It's a cross dressing phenomena.
Oh Asia. ASIA! That's what we wanted to say. ASIAAAAAAAA
Anyways, once again, what are these for?
So, it's supposed to be so that when your feet go up from the heels
You're supposed to wear this after a hard day of wearing heels.
And then it bends your feet in the opposite direction.
Why do girls even wear high heels?
I have never looked at a girl's shoes and thought.
OMG THOSE SHOES ARE GREAT.
Like, High Heels: what are they for?
I don't think that girls wear it for their shoes, though.
I think they wear them because they think their legs look better.
But, aren't girls like,
OMG I GOTTA GET THOSE SHOES THEY'RE LIKE SOOOO WONDERFUL.
And like, if you're supposed to be attracting guise with those shoes
Well, ok. That's not necessarily true
Girls can just get shoes because
I know that girls don't have to buy shoes for guise sake
but if a girl ever thinks OMGOSH I GOTTA WEAR THIS BECAUSE OF A DATE
That's a bad idea because a guy
gonna be like "BOOBS" or "BUTTS!"
They're not gonna be like "YER SHUZ R SOOOO NICE!"
I like the blue ones I like the black ones
The whole point of this story
(that was a full essay)
I don't understand why girls wear high heels.
Ok we're gonna try this on now.
WE?
You gotta feel the pain with me.
I can't fit my man feet into here.
These are really firm.
They will totally fit you!
Are you sure? I have man feet.
DOTHRAKI MAN FEET
DOTHRAKI MAN FEET: GOOD FOR KICKING HORSES AND VILLAGES!
No, you can fit this. Come on! Let's put them on.
Ok, I'm gonna put them on.
They actually flip open like this.
Um.
Put them in your toe hole.
Wait a second. 1 2 3 4 9
Do I have this on the right shoe? Yeah, I do.
OHHHH THE PAIN!
It's fine!
Ohhh!
Really? Does it hurt?
It just feels weird, like pushing my arch the opposite direction
Everyone's gonna make fun of my toes
they'll be like OH YER TOEZ R SO LONG N GROSS
I have long toes. I have long toes, alright!
I pick things up when they fall on the floor.
It really does stretch, like, that whole muscle here.
What is that called, that muscle here?
Your...MERKAFABULA
Yes my Mekrafabula is stretching quite nicely
Like, I can imagine, like, on the commercial on Gmarket,
People are walking around and cooking and talking on the phone and stuff
This is actually really unpleasant for the back of your heel, here.
Or maybe you're supposed to like, you're supposed to like
walk around...are you supposed to keep your feet off the ground?
I don't know.
Like, I'm using the front balls of my feet
That can't be right.
Y U NO COME WITH INSTRUCTION MANUAL?
STEP 1: PUT ON FEET. STEP 2: SUFFFERRRR!!!!
Ok Simon it's your turn.
So I'm gonna put these on my huge feet.
I've got size, like, 13/14 feet.
I can never buy shoes in Korea,
and, whaddayaknow, this won't strap over.
Ok there you go. I MAKE FIT!
Hold it up.
Very nice!
Oh it looks nice Simon.
Oh wow. Look at it barely clinging on.
Ok here I go!
Oh this is so dumb. I feel like an old grandmother
Oh hey there Johnny! Would you like to speak with Grammer Gramma!
Simon is modeling the anti-heels
which make you walk like a retarded foreigner.
Ok so final verdict: I think these might actually be good for something
And I think that they might be good for nothing.
But you don't exactly wear heels: you're six foot four
It's not like you need to wear, like,
DOTHRAKI MAN DON'T WEAR HEELS!
I really honestly think they would work.
Like, if you wear high heels all day as a girl,
and you come home - or as a guy, it's ok
And you put these on: it would really stretch out that part
But, like...
DERP
The wheels in his head are turning
The little hamster is like TSK TSK TSK TSK TSK
A thought is forming
HERP DERP BURP SKIRP
I got it!
Go:
Chocolate.
Alright, well, you're cut off
GONG!