♪ Wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah ♪
♪ Wah wah wah wah wha wah wah wah ♪
♪ Wah, oh man, oh man ♪
- Give me that Curly Wurly
or I will break your face.
(thudding) - Ooh!
- Are you a complete moron? - No, I'm not.
- [Maeve] That was a rhetorical question.
- Here you go. - Don't touch my shit.
- Just trying to help.
- Don't. - Guys!
You know you're not supposed to run in the hallway.
- It was my fault.
Fuck off, snowflake.
- I need your help. - Me?
I mean, me?
- Maeve and I, we're you know--
- Boning.
- Are you gonna write me up?
- I'll let you off this time.
- I'm eternally grateful for your kindness.
Jesus Christ!
(mellow melodic music)
- Ah!
Yeah, see you tomorrow, shit biscuit.
- Hot tubs aren't really my thing.
- What is your thing then?
- Complex female characters.
Are you hooking up with anyone here?
- No, are you?
- Ask me in an hour.
Alright, dickhead. - Hi, hey,
nice to see you again,
'cause I saw you this morning in school, not in my dreams.
- Come on, then, show me now.
- We're just fucking, Jackson,
we don't need to know each other's postcodes.
See you at school.
Don't be late.
- Oh, my God!
- You wanna hang out later?
- We just had sex.
- I mean like, you know, a hang out.
- Jackson, I'm not offended
that you wanna keep this a secret,
just casual and it works for me,
you don't have to try and be honorable and shit.
- [Otis] I hate parties.
- Yeah, me too, crawling with cretins.
- I didn't realize you and Jackson--
- No, it's cool, he's not my boyfriend or anything,
we're just sleeping together, you know how it is.
- Sure, yeah, yeah, absolutely.
- Hey Maeve, what do you think Woolf meant
by the history of men's opposition to women's emancipation
is more interesting perhaps
than the story of that emancipation itself?
- That men are dicks
and selective castration is their only hope.
- You know, you are so dark.
- What?
- Why are we in an abortion clinic?
Oh!
- I said 6:30.
- What time is late?
- What the hell does that even mean?
And why are you wearing a suit?
- Casual ham. - Just leave now.
- What's happened, Tromboner, yeah, woken up straight?
Well, you look shit.
- Hi.
- You waited?
- Of course.
- You're in love with Maeve. - What?
I'm not in love, don't be ridiculous.
- You've been glued to your phone for like three weeks now
and every time she texts you, this happens.
- What happens?
Ooh, sorry. - Watch it, breadstick.
- Okay, right, have a nice day.
- You know in rom-coms when the guy
finally realizes he's in love with a girl
and he turns up with a boombox outside a house
blasting her favorite song
and everyone in the audience swoons?
Yeah, that makes me sick.
♪ Baby ♪
♪ Baby, love really hurts without you ♪
- Oh, my God!
♪ Love really hurts without you ♪
- Will you please be my girlfriend?
- Dickhead.
(cheering)
(mellow upbeat music)
Wait.
- Whoa!
Okay, oh, yeah, let's go.
I might have a mild to moderate crush on Maeve.
- Yeah, no shit, what gave it away?
- She touched my eyebrows and now I have an erection.
Mum!
You're not my Mum.
I've just, I, I'm not, it's research.
- You should probably think about
getting a lock on this door.
- Steal something.
- No. - Yeah.
Why steal something? - Because I dare you.
- So? - I dare you to do it.
- Don't, I can't. - I dare you, it's easy,
just live a little, shit spine.
(light melodic music)
- Thank you.
You are a strange woman.
- Hi, Otis. - Hi.
I'm supposed to be Hedwig.
- Oh, I love that film.
- When I'm with you, I just, it's the only time
I don't feel like my mind's going 100 miles an hour.
(melodic upbeat music)
- Do you wanna go out with me?
Well, I think you're funny and I wanna go out with you.
- Yeah, yeah.
- I'm done with the bathroom.
- Oh, great.
- If you wanna take a look.
- Yes, yes, I would.
Sorry, you had just a piece of fluff.
- Are you gonna sniff my head again?
- No, no, yes, no, just a piece of fluff.
- Oh yeah, yeah, I see, thank you for removing this fluff.
- You never called.
- I composed a bunch of texts and after reading them,
I just felt immensely uncool, so I decided
to not text you anything, I'm an idiot, sorry.
Do you wanna go to the dance with me?
- Yes.
- Yeah? - Yeah.
- Okay, cool.
Hey, wow, okay, you look cool.
- You look fantastic. - Thank you,
you look great yourself. - Thanks.
- I'm here for the sink.
- Great, marvelous.
- Okay? - Yeah.
- [Adam] What the fuck did you come as, Tromboner, a girl?
- [Eric] What do you want, Adam?
- I'm gonna fucking kill you.
(muffled background pop music)
- Okay, are you gonna do it now or later,
because I'm ready when you are?
- It's coming. - Okay,
so later then?
Great.
- Cool, hi.
- You're here.
- And you're here.
- I'm Ola.
- Jackson, sorry.
- Nice to meet you. - Nice to meet you.
- Ola, this is Maeve.
- [Ola and Maeve] Hi.
- [Otis] She's my friend.
- [Ola] Alright, I'm gonna dance.
- Cool.
I don't really dance.
- But we're at a dance.
- It's not really my thing.
- Okay, well, I'm still gonna dance.
- If you ever tell anyone about this,
I will fucking end you, do you understand?
- I gave him 50 and then he gave me the book stuff
and then the song and then the feminist stuff that you like,
because you're difficult, Maeve to know.
(mellow melodic music)
- [Otis] I hope you can forgive me
and then we can keep doing the clinic together.
You're the smartest person I've ever met
and this award is yours.
♪ But I think I could love her ♪
♪ Crimson and clover ♪
♪ Ah ♪
♪ When she comes walking over ♪
♪ Now I've been waiting to show her ♪
♪ Crimson and clover ♪
- I think-- - Don't talk, you'll ruin it.
♪ Over and over ♪
- Yeah.
- Text me.
- Cool. - Okay.