From Andrew: he says, here's the thing Tripp, once I have a woman engaging with me in a romantic way,
I don't have a problem. The problem I have is getting over the initial hurdle of getting her
to want to be romantic. Here's my problem. If I were to define my personality, I would say that
I'm a highly sensitive heterosexual male. See Tom Falkenstein's book, "The Highly Sensitive Man."
And guess what, that doesn't go down well with the ladies. I've read your book, watched your videos,
and I'm taking the steps to alter my approach to women. But changing my personality in order
to appease the whims of women, doesn't sit well with me. And I understand why women...
and I understand why some men say "fuck it, I'm not going to bother." So how,
as a highly sensitive man, can I get this to work for me?
Kind regards, Andrew. This question is interesting because I don't understand
what you mean, get this to work for you. You're saying that you're a highly sensitive man?
I don't know what that that means exactly. I mean, I think I understand the idea of someone
who's sensitive. Maybe that means that they're more emotional or rejection is harder for them.
Yeah, I don't know. I think that it is possible that you might be labeling yourself in a way or
you are diagnosing yourself as a highly sensitive man, even though... and the your the fact that
you're doing that might be a self fulfilling prophecy. Although I understand sometimes it's
nice to be able to understand what you're feeling and who you are. And you found something that
seems to describe you very well. And now you're saying "guess what, that doesn't go
down well with the ladies." Well, yeah, that's right. I don't know what to tell you here.
We can't change biology, we can't change how women become attracted to a man. If you're saying that
the fact that you're a highly sensitive man is turning off women, of course I can't just go,
well stop being sensitive. That's not very good advice. But what I can say is, why can't
you still tap into the masculine qualities that women are attracted to? Even though you might be
a highly sensitive man... whatever that means, again I don't understand what that means. But
why can't you still be a person who is triggering attraction with a woman? What is it exactly that's
holding you back? Are you tapping in more to your feminine qualities and trying to let her lead?
The thing is you need to be leading. I don't think guy understand this sometimes. They're trying to
almost test women in a way to see if they like them so they see if they take the lead and then
the man doesn't take the lead. And what that does is make her not attracted. I'll say this again,
what ends up happening here is guys will try to let a woman take the lead because
they're testing to see if the woman is interested in them. But that makes them un-attracted.
Because – I guess I'm just repeating myself, I just have to make this clear – because
leading is what is attractive. And we were talking about that too. In the last question,
leading is what's attractive. My guess, again, I'd love for you to write in again,
Andrew, and talk about this highly sensitive man. I don't understand what that means. But I want to
understand what it is that is holding you back. Is it because you're not leading? Is it because
you are... and you say this "but changing my personality in order
to appease the whims of women." It's not like you're appeasing the whims of women.
It's like a woman saying well you know what? I'm gonna not put on makeup, for example.
That's the first thing I can think of. It's like woman saying "I'm not going to put on make up
and a guy's just gonna have to like me for me." When she goes out to the bar I'm saying.
Not when you're in a relationship. But you go out to a bar and then. okay, well, guess what?
The girl with the makeup on, she's gonna get hit on by more guys probably,
most likely. Again, maybe this is a bad example. But I think you know what I'm saying here.
Don't think of it like you're changing your personality. You could still be you. Here's
the beautiful part about attraction guys. You can still be you and attract a woman. What I tell my
coaching clients is you need to be an upgraded version of you. If you want to say well, I'm
not going to change... well I don't know what to tell you. You're just going to get what you get.
You're going to keep doing what you're doing. You're going to keep getting what you're getting.
But if you want to change and be a person who is more charismatic, who is a guy who is leading,
well then changes will happen. That's what's going to happen. Changes will happen when you
become a guy who's tapping into the biological ways that a woman becomes attracted to a man.
There is a reason why men who are very obese or very heroin like skinny, may not be as attractive
as a guy who is going to be a little bit more jacked. I'm not saying that you need to be
completely jacked, but what I'm saying is you can't be a severely obese guide at 300 pounds
and say well, she should like me for me. I ask you the same thing as a guy.. okay, well then
why don't you just like that 300 pound girl over there? Why aren't you attracted her? You should
be. You're gonna say no, I'm not. Why? Because you can't change biology. Yes, I believe so even
though I don't know the definition of a highly sensitive man. But I believe that you can still be
sensitive in whatever way you're talking about. Or maybe just disregard that all in general because
it's hurting you and focus more on the idea of triggering attraction to the traits that makes
a man more attractive. Which I talked about my TED system; tension, entertainment and dominance.