- Hey, guys, I'm David Dobrik,
and today I'm reading thirst tweets.
(funky music)
I was told these are real.
These are 100% real?
Okay.
The way David Dobrik eats makes me horny.
You know what?
I want to say screw you to my parents for this.
'Cause they would always make fun of me for how I eat.
Look at this.
I turn people on.
(laughing)
I don't know, I just cram a bunch of food into my mouth,
which I guess some people find amusing.
And I appreciate that.
I will continue eating for you.
Punch me in my bussy.
What's a bussy?
I will knock the (beep) out of your bussy.
I will (beep).
(laughing)
What is a bussy?
I mean I think I know what it is.
Do we have a mannequin I can perform all these stunts on?
David Dobrik is one thick bi.
Let me see that Davussy.
(laughing)
What's a Davussy?
I appreciate it, thank you.
I don't, I don't really know with this one.
I kinda knew what bussy was, but Davussy is confusing.
I'm assuming that's like my,
like a friendly way of saying penis, right?
Genitals?
Nope?
You guys know what it is?
Why are you looking at me like I'm an idiot?
This is an actual word?
Oh, my asshole.
Oh.
- [Crewman] Yes, it is.
- I'll show you my Davussy.
I don't want these to end.
Can I lick your big toe?
(beep)
Yeah.
I never understood the fascination with people's toes.
Actually, you know what?
I feel like at point I probably had a foot fetish.
You can.
Me, I hate when people sexualize celebrities.
Also me, I would literally (beep) David Dobrik,
like sit on my face.
Holy (beep).
(breathing heavily)
(laughing)
Am I getting turned on?
I'd take all these to the bathroom.
Who has the most beautiful legs?
David Dobrik.
I really appreciate that.
I used to play tennis
and I used to wear really short shorts,
so it's nice to know
that every time people were looking at me play
that they were enjoying what they were seeing.
I just want everyone to know
that I'm officially a hole for David Dobrik.
Well, this one's good, 'cause it's so (beep) gross.
It's so dehumanizing to say that.
I'm a hole.
I'll treat you like my purse.
I'll keep my camera in there when I'm not filming.
I would let David Dobrik spit down my throat.
Can we find this person
and I will spit down their throat right now.
I want David Dobrik to shove his Tesla blowtorch in my hole
and roast me from the inside out.
I should come to you guys for more video ideas.
'Cause this is great.
I want David Dobrik to destroy my insides.
Now I don't know if they want me
to feed them a Carolina Reaper pepper.
Or if they want me to have sex with them.
DM me.
Serious inquiries only.
When I'm horny I have a hard time deciding
if I want to watch Porn Hub or David Dobrik vlogs.
I feel like I'd rather watch Porn Hub.
Trying to imagine how my videos would help you masturbate.
But then again, I've masturbated to my videos.
Look, I don't understand it either, but I love David Dobrik.
He radiates BDE and that's all.
BDE is big dick energy.
I am going to individually DM all of you after this.
Last one.
David Dobrik, if you see this
just know I wanna use your (beep) as a face mask.
Well, if you see this, you'll be happy to hear
we're coming out with new merch
where you can use my (beep) as a face mask.
Show me.
Yes, what?
Oh, this one's long.
We got a new one.
They weren't gonna show me this one
'cause it was too explicit.
I've seen this person tweet.
I haven't read it, but I've seen this person's tweets.
They are (beep) insane.
David Dobrik, please let me suck the,
I've seen this exact tweet.
David Dobrik, please let me suck the (beep) out of your tip
drop by drop like a hamster.
Ram into my throat so hard that I throw up
and force me to lick the vomit off your balls.
(beep) me in front of a church.
Spit in my mouth and nut in me, then lick it out of me.
Show me how you squirt.
(laughing)
I've seen this one and I want to favorite it,
but I know it's a bad look.
But I (beep) appreciate you.
You work hard, and you're gonna get places.
Thanks for having me, BuzzFeed, what.
You guys are (beep) sick.
(laughing)
(slow music)