>> Stephen: WELCOME BACK, EVERYBODY.
LOOK, THERE ARE A LOT OF GREAT SHOWS ON TELEVISION, BUT THERE
IS NO GREATER BAND ON TELEVISION THAN JON BATISTE AND STAY HUMAN.
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) AMAZING.
UNBELIEVABLE.
I CAN'T BELIEVE I GET TO SIT HERE EVERY NIGHT AND WATCH YOU
GUYS BE THAT GOOD NOT SMOKING MARIJUANA.
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, MY NEXT GUEST IS A FABULOUS MUSICIAN, A
COMPOSER, AND NOW A TWO-TIME EMMY NOMINEE FOR BRAKE.
>> LET ME EXPLAIN HOW THE INTERNET WORKS.
THEY ARE GREAT TUBES AND THEY'RE COMING HERE THROUGH THE AIR.
>> THAT'S PROBABLY WHAT'S MAKING THE APARTMENT SMELL LIKE FART.
>> WE'RE ONLINE, LIKE SCIENTISTS!
DO I?
BECAUSE MY ROOMMATE IS TRYING TO GET FIRED AND IT'S ONLY A MATTER
OF TIME BEFORE I TAKE A WEIRD STAND ABOUT ANYTHING AT WORK.
>> WAIT, SO IT'S LIKE A SLEEPOVER WITH STRANGERS?
BUT THEY PAY US!
>> I'M DOING IT.
I'M PUTTING OUR APARTMENT IN THE PHONE.
>> WHAT'S A "COZY UPTOWN DUCK PALACE?"
>> DARN IT!
AUTO CORRECT!
>> Stephen: PLEASE WELCOME TITUSS BURGESS.
♪ ♪ ♪ ( APPLAUSE )
>> Stephen: WELCOME BACK.
>> THAT BAND IS EVERYTHING.
YOU GUYS ARE EVERYTHING, DUDE.
>> Jon: THANK YOU!
THANK YOU!
>> I LITERALLY JUST GOT BACK FROM WALKING IN A FASHION SHOW
FOR FASHION WEEK.
IT'S MY FIRST TIME.
>> Stephen: YOU WALKED THE RUNWAY AND EVERYTHING?
>> I WALKED THE RUNWAY.
AND IT WAS, LIKE, FULL OF, LIKE, SKINNY, TALL PEOPLE.
SP ON THE THE CAR RIDE FROM THERE TO HERE, MY SELF-ESTEEM
OPENED THE DOOR AND DARTD OUT INTO THE STREET.
SO WE'VE GOT TO WRAP IT THIS INTERVIEW UP BECAUSE I HAVE TO
FILE A MISSING PERSON'S REPORT.
>> Stephen: WELL, LISTEN, BROTHER, YOU SHOULD HAVE NOTHING
BUT SELF-ESTEEM.
>> WELL.
>> Stephen: YOU'RE CRUSHING IT.
THIS IS YOUR SECOND EMMY NOMINATION.
>> THANK YOU.
>> Stephen: IT'S IN THE BAG, TOO.
YOU'RE GOING TO GET THIS ONE.
>> OH!
>> Stephen: NO, NO, IT'S ABSOLUTELY.
( APPLAUSE ) BEFORE WE GET TO THAT BECAUSE I
WANT TO TALK ABOUT KIMMY SCHMIDT.
CAN YOU SHOW ME YOUR WALK?
YOU JUST WALKED THE THE RUNWAY.
I'LL SHOW YOU MINE.
HOLD ON.
>> PLEASE!
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) >> I NEED YOUR COAT.
ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT.
♪ ♪ ♪ ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
>> Stephen: BEAUTIFUL.
>> OH, MAN!
YOU'RE GET AT IT THIS, STEVE.
>> Stephen: WHAT?
>> YOU'RE GOOD AT IT.
>> Stephen: HEY, LISTEN, I WAS YOUNG, I NEEDED THE MONEY.
SO WHO ARE YOU WEARING TONIGHT?
>> TONIGHT I'M WEARING I THINK IT MIGHT BE K-MART JEANS.
>> Stephen: LET ME WRITE THAT DOWN.
>> MIGHT BE 125th STREET.
>> Stephen: THAT'S NICE.
WELL, WELCOME BACK TO A BROADWAY STAGE.
>> THANK YOU!
>> Stephen: YOU SHOULD BE VERY COMFORTABLE HERE.
>> I AM.
>> Stephen: BECAUSE YOU HAVE DONE GREAT SHOWS ON BROADWAY,
AND YOU LOVED BROADWAY SINCE YOU WERE A YOUNG BOY.
DO YOU REMEMBER THE FIRST BROADWAY SHOW THAT YOU SAW?
>> I REMEMBER-- YES, I DO.
I REMEMBER THE FIRST-- WELL, THE FIRST TIME I WAS INTRODUCED TO
BROADWAY WAS A RECORDING OF A BROADWAY MUSICAL.
SO PBS-- AND THEY STILL DO IT, I BELIEVE-- USED TO AIR --
>> LIKE "GREAT PERFORMANCES."
ME, TOO.
THAT'S THE FIRST ONE I SAW, TOO.
>> AND IT WAS "SUNDAY IN THE PARK."
>> Stephen: ME, TOO, MANDY PATINKIN.
>> SO GOOD, SO GOOD.
♪ IT'S HOT UP HERE A LOT OF HERE
♪ NOT A JOB ♪ >> I LOVE IT.
NO ONE ELSE KNOWS WHAT WE'RE TALKING ABOUT.
AND I DON'T KNOW THAT I UNDERSTOOD WHAT I WAS WATCHING
BECAUSE IT WAS VERY-- >> Stephen: HOW OLD WERE YOU?
>> I WAS SEVEN.
>> Stephen: SEVEN?
WATCHING SONDHEIM?
>> YES.
>> Stephen: THAT'S PRETTY ADVANCED, MY FRIEND.
WOW.
( LAUGHTER ) WOULD YOU LIKE ME TO ORDER SOME
HAIR SO YOU CAN DO THAT?
>> NO, IT'S THERE.
YOU JUST CAN'T SEE IT.
I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT I WAS WATCHING, BUT I UNDERSTOOD
ENERGETICALLY WHAT WAS HAPPENING.
DO YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?
>> Stephen: NOPE.
>> OKAY.
THERE WAS-- I FELT LIKE, OH, I GET IT.
I TONE KNOW IT'S SUBJECT MATTER IS, BUT I UNDERSTAND HAD SORT OF
IDEA OF BURSTING INTO SONG OUT OF DIALOGUE.
IT LOOKED PERFECTLY NATURAL TO ME.
AND I THOUGHT-- WHY ARE YOU LAUGHING?
THAT'S NOT FUNNY.
>> Stephen: YOU WERE SOMETHING OF A SELF-TAUGHT MUSICIAN.
>> YEAH.
MY GRANDMOTHER, WHO IS NO LONGER WITH US, BUT IS VERY MUCH WITH
US.
LOVE YOU, GRANDMA, ROZINA.
SHE-- THEY HAD THIS UPRIGHT PIANO-- I DON'T WHEREIN THEY
GOT.
IT DIDN'T WORK.
ALL THE KEYS WERE MESSED UP.
BUT I WOULD PLAY CHORDS OR WHATEVER, BUT I COULD HEAR WHAT
THE PROGRESSION WAS SUPPOSED TO BE.
DON'T ASK ME HOW.
I JUST KNOW.
AND I WOULD SORT OF FILL IN THE BLANKS, AND I SUBSEQUENTLY
TAUGHT MYSELF TO PLAY PIANO.
>> Stephen: WOW.
>> YEAH.
>> Stephen: WOW.
HOW OLD WERE YOU WHEN YOU TAUGHT YOURSELF TO PLAY THE PIANO?
>> NINE.
>> Stephen: WOW.
YOU'RE BLACK MOZART.
LAW LAU( LAUGHTER ).
>> NO, HE'S BLACK MOZART.
>> Stephen: THAT'S TRUE.
SO LET'S TALK ABOUT KIMMY SCHMIDT.
>> OKAY.
>> Stephen: SECOND-SEASON NOMINATION, CONGRATULATIONS.
>> THANK YOU.
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) >> Stephen: NOW, IS THERE ANY
RELATIONSHIP-- WE TALKING ABOUT THIS A LITTLE BIT BEFORE-- BUT
IS THERE ANY RELATIONSHIP BETWEEN AND YOU YOUR CHARACTER?
IS THERE ANY SIMILARITY BETWEEN THE TWO OF YOU?
BECAUSE HE'S-- SLIGHTLY UNBALANCED, DRAMATIC--
>> THERE'S NO SLIGHTLY.
HE'S FULLY UNBALANCED.
FULLY DRAMATIC.
>> Stephen: SELFISH.
>> VERY SELFISH.
HE-- LOVES TO BE THE CENTER OF ATTENTION.
I DON'T THINK SO.
LOOK, WHEN I'M HANGING OUT WITH MY FRIENDS AND WE'VE HAD A FEW,
I SLIP INTO IT.
BUT I WOULD RATHER COOK AND PLAY PIANO.
>> Stephen: WHAT WOULD YOU MAKE ME?
>> WHATEVER YOU WANT.
I'M A BOMB COOK.
>> Stephen: ALSO SELF-TAUGHT OR DID YOU LEARN THAT FROM YOUR
GRAND MOTHER.
>> FROM MY GRAND.
MOTHER.
>> Stephen: REALLY?
WHAT'S YOUR SPECIALTY.
>> MY GRANDMOTHER, I WILL ALWAYS REMEMBER THIS, SHE WOULD BE
KNEADING DOE, AND WE WOULD BE SINGING HYMNS AND I WOULD
HARMONIZE WITH HER WHILE SINGING HYMNS AND HE SHE WOULD MAKE
BISCUITS.
I CAN MAKE SOME GREAT MACARONI AND CHEESE.
YOU'D LOOK A LITTLE LIKE ME.
>> Stephen: I WOULD LOVE IT.
>> YEAH.
>> Stephen: NOW, YOU GOT-- YOU HAD A LITTLE BIT OF A FAUX PAS.
YOU WENT ON THE OLD FAB, AND ELLIE KEMPER HAD HER BABY.
>> SHE DID.
>> Stephen: DO YOU WANT ME TO EXPLAIN IT BEFORE YOU EXPLAIN
IT?
>> NO.
>> Stephen: IT'S YOUR FAUX PAS.
>> I INSIST.
>> Stephen: YOU SAID, "MY ELLIE HAD HER BABY.
A SON."
>> LET ME PREFACE THIS.
I DON'T-- OKAY.
( LAUGHTER ) I DON'T THINK ANYBODY READS
ANYTHING THAT I WRITE.
SO, SO I'M JUST LIKE, DO-DO-DO.
AND MY LITTLE 5,000 FRIENDS.
YOU KNOW, WILL JUST COMMENT.
AND I'M JUST, LIKE, YOU KNOW, SHOWING HOW PROUD I AM THAT, YOU
KNOW, SHE IS-- WELL, ACTUALLY, ONCE YOU READ IT, I SOUND LIKE
I'M PROUD.
I WAS EXCITED.
>> Stephen: YOU SAY, "WHY AM I EMOTIONAL IS IT HE'S NOT MINE."
THAT I KNOW OF.
( LAUGHTER ) >> KEEP GOING.
>> Stephen: WELL THEN YOU SAID, "I'M FROM SOUTH.
IF WE DREAM ABOUT FISH, WE KNOW SOMEONE IN THE FAM IS PREGS.
>> IS ANYONE FROM THE SOUTH?
YOU HAVE EVER HEARD THAT.
>> Stephen: I'M FROM THE SOUTH.
WHAT IS THE FISH THING?
>> TALK TO MY GRANDMA.
>> Stephen: I WOULD LIKE TO.
>> I DON'T KNOW.
BUT SHE WOULD ALWAYS KNOW WHEN ONE OF MY COUSINS WAS PREGNANT.
SHE SAID I DREAMED ABOUT FISH, THEIR NOSE WOULD BE SWOLLEN AND
SURE ENOUGH THERE WOULD BE A LITTER OF CHILDREN RUNNING
AROUND THE HOUSE NINE MONTHS LATER.
I'M NOT JOKING.
I SWEAR TO GOD.
>> Stephen: THIS IS A SUPERSTITION BUT WHEN MY WIFE
AND I WERE YOUNGER AND FIRST WERE HAVING CHILDREN, SOMEONE
GAVE US A RUBBER HIPPOPOTAMUS-- >> WHAT DOES THAT HAVE TO DO
WITH THIS?
>> Stephen: YOU HAVE A FISH THING.
I HAVE A HIPPOPOTAMUS THING.
>> TOUCHE.
>> Stephen: NO, NOT TOUCHE.
IT'S NOT A COMPETITION.
I'M TRYING TO SHARE A MOMENT WITH YOU.
I REMEMBER LOOKING AT THE HIPPOPOTAMUS, AND EVERY TIME THE
HIPPOPOTAMUS WAS LOOKING BACK AT ME I THOUGHT SHE MUST BE
PREGNANT.
THE HIPPOPOTAMUS LOOKED LIKE A LITTLE BABY AND I WAS RIGHT
EVERY TIME.
>> WOULDN'T YOU KNOW?
>> Stephen: NO, NO, I DON'T KNOW.
I DON'T KNOW.
I KNOW HOW YOU MAKE A BABY, BUT I DON'T KNOW WHEN BABY DECIDES
TO ARRIVE.
I DON'T KNOW THAT.
IT TAKES A LITTLE WHILE TO FIND OUT, MY FRIEND.
>> I AIN'T GOT NO KIDS.
>> Stephen: NO.
WOULD YOU LIKE SOME CHILDREN SOMETIME.
>> NO, HONEY, NO.
( APPLAUSE ) I'M NOT BRINGING ANYBODY INTO
THIS WORLD.
ABSOLUTELY NOT.
THERE'S ENOUGH TO TAKE CARE OF.
>> Stephen: ALL RIGHT, WELLING--
( APPLAUSE ) >> Stephen: GOOD LUCK AT THE
EMMYS, MAN.
>> THANK YOU.
>> Stephen: LOVELY TO SEE YOU.
PLEASE COME BACK AND MAYBE WE SHOULD COOKING IT NEXT TIME.
>> YOU CAN COOKING?
>> Stephen: OH, I'M A BOMB COOK.
>> Stephen: CATCH "UNBREAKABLE KIMMY SCHMIDT" ON NETFLIX.