- This is my good side.
- [Josie] You both win.
- With age, my good side has shifted I think.
(upbeat music)
Hi guys, I'm Steecey?
- Sure - Sneezy?
I said that in the last video.
- You could be Sneezy,
like a little Christmas dwarf.
- Yeah, you were Coughy last time.
- Come to rain down on the magic.
- Hi guys, I'm Stevie and this is the lovely Jessica
and we are Sweet Aunt and Spicy Aunt.
And today we are gonna be answering your questions.
You wanted advice from us, and we are very different
in how we approach most things in life.
So we thought that you could get both sides covered.
Your sweet advice answer and your spicy advice answer.
We've done a few of these before.
So this is our third episode - Yes.
- of Sweet Aunt Spicy Aunt.
- Guess which is which?
For the Christmas special edition.
Welcome to my filming studio by the way.
- I think I grew up too Catholic
for this to feel Christmassy to me
'cause this is like the advent colors.
- Oh, I'm a Quaker, so.
- Anyway, so Josie has collected these questions
so Jessica and I have not seen these before,
so you get our true reactions to them on the spot.
So, Josie, off camera,
would you like to tell us what the first question is?
- Go - [Josie] Of course.
Do you have any tips for managing spoons
during holiday festivities and socializing?
- Honesty.
Be brutally honest with yourself and those around you
about what you can and cannot manage.
Also, underplay it.
If you think that you can manage 40 minutes,
say you can do 30 and then you can stay for an extra five
if you're feeling up to it.
- Yeah, my advice would be to heavily medicate yourself
and then have two weeks of sleeping in bed afterwards.
- Get drunk.
- Lots of medication,
whether that's self-medication or prescription medication,
you know, whatever is safest for you.
You know, gimme the caffeine, give me the ADHD meds.
You know just, let's go.
- Ask for help from those around you.
- Also be brutally honest, yeah.
(they laugh)
- [Josie] My girlfriend and I, in brackets, gay,
have been dating for almost three months now.
What's an appropriate gift for our first Christmas together?
- Oh, that's such a sweet question.
- Firstly, thanks for telling us you're gay.
- Clarification. - I thought that was so cute,
always important.
What's an appropriate gift?
My goodness, I think when Claudia and I
had our first Christmas together,
we have been dating for probably four months.
She had Christmas with my parents, we're so gay,
and then we got engaged less than a month later.
Lesbians.
- Nice.
I met Josie's sister on our first date.
Like literally it was a double date with her sister
on our first date.
- And now they're married.
- Yeah.
- Yeah, but, so Christmas gifts, three months in,
I feel like I never do this right.
I just do whatever feels right in my soul.
I went all out for Josie
when we'd only been dating for two months on Christmas,
and I got her like a 23andme kit
because her dad was adopted
and she didn't know like all of that.
I also got her AirPods cause I was like,
oh, she likes music, I'll get her AirPods.
And then in retrospect I was like,
that just looks like I was like trying to be a sugar mama.
You know?
- [Josie] I loved it.
- I mean I think obviously you have to know the person.
So for some people a 23andme kit may be an odd gift.
- Is a really, I didn't even think about if it would be odd.
- Yes, yes it's an odd gift for some people.
You have to know the person,
you can't just spring a 23andme gift on everyone.
- Oh my God.
- That's, that's weird.
You know her, you love her, come on,
you do 'cause you're asking the question,
and you're already thinking about Christmas together,
and gifts.
So just take a step, take a think.
It doesn't have to be big, it doesn't have to be huge.
I think for our first Christmas together,
Claudia got me a red velvet cape,
and I got her a light up globe.
They weren't that big,
it wasn't like fast, flashy and anything,
but it was just really nice
and things that we knew the other one, really treasured.
I don't think there's a one size fits all
when it comes to Christmas gifts.
- Yeah, I think it could be helpful
to figure out what her love language is,
because depending on that
could help you figure out what type of gift to get her.
But as long as it's true to you and who you are as a person
and true to her, who she is as a person.
And that's why the 23andme and the AirPods
made sense for me to give Josie
because it corresponded with things that she liked
and also was a very weird gift, which is definitely very me.
- Josie, this worked, clearly.
- [Josie] Yes, obviously.
- Did you like the gifts when it happened?
- [Josie] Yeah, I thought (cymbal crash) yeah.
I have got a sugar mama, I'm in.
- Yeah, that was a bait and switch, wasn't it?
Do you think I'm an odd gift giver Jessica?
- You once gave me a bidet.
- I really did.
It was also-
- That was definitely the top.
- It was a bidet with a Bluetooth speaker in it,
so that you could play music
and then I was like, Jessica's deaf,
you got her a bidet that is like this plastic thing
to put on her vintage toilet,
with a Bluetooth speaker on it.
That is so weird.
- Sorry a quick question though,
who does play music on a bidet anyway?
- I mean it's pretty cool, pretty high tech.
Listen, in retrospect, I realized it was a weird gift.
I did not realize it was weird until way after the fact.
- [Jessica] No.
- Hi, hi, hi,
we interrupt your regularly scheduled programming
of two lesbians going at it
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Okay, cool, moving on.
- [Josie] Next question.
How do you make time for s*x slash intimacy
when you're hosting or visiting family around the holidays?
- Well...
- Go on then.
- My wife and I are quite touchy, feely people
and sometimes we forget
that there are other people in our house.
Sorry Josie. - Be forgetful.
- [Josie] That's true.
- We do a lot of dancing,
that's something that we do together
that often other people walk in on and are like,
what is happening right now?
Because there isn't music playing.
The music is in our heads, jointly in our heads.
We share the sound together.
- This is why you didn't need the Bluetooth speaker.
- No, absolutely not, we did not.
- Yeah, I think.
- It's just the love language that we share.
However, she gets very tense when she's aware
there are other people around.
So that stops, which then makes me feel really weird,
and I don't like it.
So whenever we are around other family,
whether we're visiting them or they're here,
I always try and make sure that we kind of make up for it
in extra moments, whether it's like five seconds in between,
you know like you're walking from room to room in a doorway.
You know just like, next to someone.
- Yeah, I think that there's so many reasons
that people worry about this when they have family visiting.
Mostly because, okay, well,
how long are they gonna be here for?
Because that automatically means we cannot have s*x
because what if they hear something,
what if we make them uncomfortable?
But I do think that s*x is not the only part of intimacy.
So like Jessica said,
making sure that you steal little moments with each other,
even if it's not s*xual, is super important.
I don't really notice that other people are around,
I just like, you know, - Do you care?
pinch her butt and kiss her and stuff in front of whoever.
Yeah.
- Being deaf helps.
You care less about,
and you just don't know that other people are there
and eventually you have to give up caring.
- [Josie] How do I deal with all the Jesus stuff
when I have religious trauma?
- What a good question.
- I also have religious trauma,
and it's been very interesting moving from the US to the UK
because this is a significantly less religious country,
but a significantly more traditional country.
But like when I found out that
every school does an nativity play,
I was like, what about separation of church and state?
Which is so American.
But then I found out that their nativity plays
just have giant lobsters in them
and like rainbows that are walking around,
so it's not necessarily that they're
forcing all of the children in England to believe in Jesus.
- In my nephews nativity play,
half the kids were shepherds and half the kids were sheep.
- Yeah, so it's very, it's added as a traditional element,
but I still, when I hear a song about the manger
on a Christmas playlist that Josie has,
I'm like, can you remove that
and skip to the next song please.
But I recently heard this from a friend,
there are some people that try to change
the words meanings in their head.
Like for instance, if someone says the son of God,
you can think, oh, they're talking about the actual sun,
which everyone can appreciate.
The sun is wonderful, it gives us life, it gives us warmth.
Yeah, also learning about other religions
and where a lot of the things that Christians have stolen
from other religions and put into their own traditions
that actually aren't actually Christian,
they're like, you know, what's it called, Yule.
- Oh, Yuletide, yeah, Saturnalia.
- Yes, Yuletide, yeah.
- All of this, I actually have a video coming out about this
- Really?
- On the 28th of December.
- Oh my God, yeah so watch Jessica's video.
- Yeah, I was just like, why should we just do that?
Which is where a variety of Christmas traditions
have come from, and what they're all about.
- Yeah, yeah, so that, that should help.
That helps me at least being like,
oh, this was stolen from the Pagans,
so this is fine to celebrate, you know.
- For me, it's been very interesting having a child
and trying to explain Christmas to him.
Because as Montessori parents, we are very much,
we explain the world to him,
and Christmas is one of those things
that we like to explain what's going on and why.
We've been reading him books about Christmas for a while
so that he understands things before they happen,
to make sure that he's not shocked and surprised
by the fact that there's a
massive tree in our house suddenly.
He's only 18 months old, but he's very much into language.
So books are like, his thing.
It is very odd to try and explain to him
what Christmas is about.
I'm like, it's a birthday, we're celebrating a birthday
for this person who's in this lady's belly in the book.
But this was a very long time ago,
you don't actually meet the person whose birthday it is,
I know that every other birthday you've been to,
you do meet the person, but this is not like that.
Yes, she's on a donkey,
and she's gonna go to this place here
and she has the baby.
This is the baby's daddy but also not,
but you know about that.
- Oh right, yeah!
Oh my God, God was Mary's sperm donor.
- All different types of families,
you are aware of different types of families.
It does make the whole festivities thing seem a bit weird.
- Yeah, that must be very difficult to try to,
this is gonna be very sacrilegious,
I'm so sorry to anyone who's religious.
You're allowed, I don't mind,
to like have a dedication to parenting
rooted in truth and and reality,
and then still celebrating something who,
most people that celebrate it,
it's like a made up story.
Do you know what I mean?
- Yeah, I mean, I am actually, interestingly,
I do actually class myself as religious.
- Yeah, but do you... But what about Santa?
- So growing up, oh don't even bring up Santa!
- Do you know what I mean?
Christmas is covered in things that are...
- Santa's something else entirely!
- Not tangibly truthful.
Do you know what I mean?
- I know.
So when I was four, I actually begged my parents
to tell me that Santa wasn't real
because I was terrified by the idea of an old man
coming into my bedroom at night.
- That is scary!
He sees you when you're sleeping
and knows when you're awake.
- Oh god, don't.
- Also, the concept of naughty children.
Children are not naughty, they're doing their best.
- I know.
- Rude.
- I know.
There is no such thing as a naughty child.
- Yeah.
- But so grow up as a Quaker,
we don't think, so much like Jesus isn't,
so we're all the children of God.
We're all equal.
We believe that all human beings are equal
and Jesus who may have existed as a historical figure,
yes is the child of God, but we are all the children of God.
So whilst it's nice to celebrate Christmas
and to have a time of the year particularly at winter
where we all come together.
As a small child I was still very much like,
well, you know, that's nice that we have this.
However, we're still all special
and all religions are of equal importance.
- Yeah.
- Difficult.
- It is.
- [Josie] Last question, how do you make the Yuletide gay?
- Just be gay darling, all day every day.
- Yes.
Get some feathers.
- In your own special way.
Be as queer as you wish.
- By sharing this video with all of your family and friends,
and subscribing.
Thank you guys so much for watching.
We are about to go head over to Jessica's channel
and answer more of your questions.
There'll also be a playlist that you guys can watch
all of these,
all of Jessica's links
are gonna be in the description as well
to follow her on all of the things.
And if you want your question to be answered
in the next episode,
you must follow us on Instagram,
and wait for that little question box that pops up.
And that's where we get all of our questions from.
Hi, hi, I'm interrupting again to tell you,
don't forget to click the link in the description
and try out HighRise.
Okay, love you, bye.
Also, thank you so much to my patrons
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- That was wonderful.
Okay, see you next time.
Bye!
(upbeat music)