I get this question all the time and I'm almost embarrassed that it took me this
long to make a video on it. We're going to be answering the question how
do you make a long-distance relationship work? I know that a lot of people
won't be watching this video because this doesn't pertain to everyone, but
hopefully you're still watching this even if you're not in a long-distance
relationship because you never know what may happen these days. We're meeting
people all over the world just because we have phones, we have the internet, we
have our computers, it's the digital age. It's so much easier to meet so many more
people. You don't just have to step outside your house anymore. You can
go online and just start meeting people pretty much anywhere. It's been
more common these days that people are getting into long-distance relationships
and they're asking me all the time how to maintain it because they're seeing
that it's a problem. Let's first define why long-distance relationships
are a problem. I'm going to be honest with you. My opinion is, I don't believe
in them. I want you to stray away from them as much as possible. Meaning
prevent it, if you end up meeting a girl that lives far away, don't get
emotionally invested in this because it's going to make you go crazy knowing
that you can't see her, which is exactly what I'm trying to get at. This is why
relationships, long-distance relationships are very difficult. It's because when you
guys are apart you can't connect in person and in sort of a way the
attraction can start to die. Very slowly. Don't be afraid you're gonna lose this
relationship. Like oh no, she's going to stop liking me.
No she won't, but it's just nature itself. You need to be in person, you guys need
to be together, you need to be touching each other, you need to be intimate and
holding each other and having sex. All those things need to happen and that
they're not happening on a consistent basis, then it's very difficult to
maintain the relationship. So to answer this question how do we make it actually
work? Like I'm saying here, you guys have to be in person. Here are some
obvious answers. This is nothing mind-blowing. Hopefully if you guys are
long-distance and by the way, I'm gonna interrupt myself, the biggest
tip I'm going to give at the end of this video so stick around. Here's some more
easy answers. Basically, you got to be facetiming each other or getting on
skype. You need to be making as many trips as possible. I know some people who
have been in distance relationships where they made
it work because they see each other almost every other weekend or a couple
times a month. But even then, that's really tough. Two weekends a month is
pretty good, but two days a month is not so good. Obviously the more and more
time you guys can spend in person, the more you have a chance of making this
relationship work. It's going to make it significantly difficult if you guys
can't figure out a way to be in person, which leads me to the biggest tip of all.
How do you actually make a long-distance relationship work? You guys need to have
a very strong and very in concrete plan to be in person with each other for good
basically or for as long as the relationship is going to last.
That means that you guys need to have a plan of hey, right now we're long
distance, right now you know let's just for an example say you're in New York
and I'm in Los Angeles, when are we getting together? Some people have
that situation. Some people are just like oh I'm going away for school. I know a
couple ones who they made it work because one guy went off to get his
master's and so they made it work. It was a two-year program, they loved each other,
they were already dating for a very long time so they made consistent trips and
that was going to work because he's going to get his master's and then he's
going to come back to the city that they were in and then they can continue their
life together. That needs to be your plan. A lot of people get into
long-distance relationships with zero plan. I've been in that situation. This is
something I did when I was in college. I met a girl and I was in a situation
where it was long-distance. I ended up moving to LA from Chicago. We had zero
plan of getting together. It was just oh let's keep dating. That's not what you
want to do. This is the problem. You don't want to just keep dating, you need to
have some sort of plan or you need to be on the path to figuring out when are you
guys going to be in person, when are you guys going to be in the same city.
Again, it's okay if you're not right now but it's not okay if you're not at least
talking about it, figuring it out, there needs to be active plans. You need to be
proactive and figuring out when are you guys going to finally be together.
It all depends. If you guys have been together for many years and you can
make it a little bit easier you know or I should say it's going to be
a little bit easier if the time that your long distance is increased. For
example, if you've been dating for three years and you're going to be
long-distance for a year, that's a very long time but it's gonna be easier
because you guys have already been invested. But if you've been dating for
two months or three months and all of a sudden boom, it goes to long distance and is long
distance for a year, well this is trouble. I mean you guys have just gotten to know
each other and now you're going to be separated for a long time. You haven't
built that foundation yet. So tread very lightly if you're going to be entering a
long-distance relationship where you guys just met. Either way, I
understand when you like someone, you like someone, you love someone, you love
someone and it's not as rational as we'd like it to be but what you can do is
like I said, be on the path to figuring out when will you guys be together and
if you can't figure that out I have to be the bearer of bad news unfortunately
I just don't see it working out and that's what I've seen in the past
multiple long-distance relationships not working which is why my main advice to
you is don't get into them. Here's what I want you to do comment down below if
you're in a long-distance relationship right now. Let me get in there, let me dive
in there, let me figure out what we can do to help you. I want you to write down
below how long you guys have been in a long-distance relationship for because I'm
sure if you're watching this right now, you're probably in a long-distance
relationship. Write down in the comments how long you've been in a
long-distance relationship for and also write down in the comments, I want you to
write down what is going to be your next action step into figuring out how you
guys can finally be together because what happens is when you actually write
this down or type this out, it's going to hopefully trigger you to take action and
do that. It's kind of like a way of holding yourself accountable so write
down in the comments below, like this video if you liked it and I'll see you
on the next video. Good luck.