WELCOME BACK!
MY NEXT GUEST IS ONE OF THE ORIGINAL KINGS OF COMEDY AND THE
STAR OF THE CBS SITCOM, "THE NEIGHBORHOOD."
>> TRUST ME.
YOU'RE GOING TO NEED TO ADD A LITTLE FLASH AND A LITTLE SWAG.
IF YOU WANT TO TALK ABOUT SCHOOL FUNDING, HOW ABOUT THIS: WE'VE
GOT TO FUND SCHOOLS OR GRADUATE FOOLS.
( LAUGHTER )
REALLY GOOD.
>> YEAH.
DID YOU JUST COME UP WITH THAT?
>> I'M A DRAGON, GUYS.
I JUST SPITFIRE.
( LAUGHTER )
BURN MY VILLAGE DOWN.
( LAUGHTER ).
>> OKAY, ALL RIGHT, CHECK THIS OUT.
WE CAN'T BE SAFE IN THE PARK IF IT'S TOO DAMN DARK.
( LAUGHTER )
GIVE YOU SOME CASH.
( LAUGHTER )
>> IT DOESN'T MATTER. IT RHYMES.
>> Stephen: "PLEASE WELCOME BACK TO "A LATE SHOW," CEDRIC THE
ENTERTAINER!
>> WHAT'S UP?
>> Stephen: CEDRIC THE ENTERTAINER, THAT'S ESTABLISHED.
YOUR NAME HAS BEEN NOTERRIZED.
>> YEAH.
>> Stephen: WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ENTERTAIN YOURSELF RIGHT NOW?
PEOPLE NEED ANY FORM OF ENTERTAINMENT THEY CAN TO GET
THROUGH COVID.
WHAT'S YOUR FORM OF ENTERTAINMENT, CEDRIC?
>> MY MAIN THING, LIKE MOST PEOPLE, IS DOING A LOT OF
GROCERY SHOPPING.
>> Stephen: NOT THE COOKING.
IT'S THE ACTUAL GROCERY SHOPPING?
>> YEAH, GO TO THE GROCERY STORE, AND JUST FIND MYSELF--
I'VE BEEN LEARNING AVOCADO-- A LOT OF PEOPLE TAKE IT FOR
GRANTED.
>> Stephen: I DON'T KNOW, WHAT IS THE SECRET?
>> THE SECRET IS YOU HAVE TO-- YOU HAVE TO FIND THE CORRECT
DEGREE OF SOFTNESS AND FIRMNESS SO IT IS A-- IT'S LIKE LEARNING
TO PLAY THE SAXOPHONE.
IT'S THIS-- ( HUMMING )
IF YOU DO KENNY G., IF YOU JUST HUM IT TO YOURSELF...
( HUMMING ) YOU CAN FIND THE RIGHT AVOCADO.
>> Stephen: IT'S KENNY G..
WHAT IF I THINK COAL TRAIN WHILE SQUEEZING AN AVOCADO.
WHAT HAPPENS?
>> OH, NOW YOU'RE TALKING GUACAMOLE, MY FRIEND!
STEPHEN!
COAL TRAIN!
COME ON.
YOU'RE GOING TO DO TOO MUCH.
>> Stephen: SEASON THREE OF "THE NEIGHBORHOOD" PREMIERED
THIS WEEK.
IT'S SO NICE TO HAVE YOU GUYS BACK.
>> YUP.
>> Stephen: NOW, WHAT WAS IT LIKE TO DO THE SHOW-- AGAIN, YOU
SHOT THE NEW SEASON DURING COVID.
>> YEAH.
>> Stephen: WE'RE IN COVID NOW.
YOU'RE SHOOTING IT.
WHAT IS THAT LIKE?
WHAT ARE THE PRECAUTIONS YOU GUYS TOOK?
>> WELL, IT WAS TOUGH.
ONE, LIKE ANYBODY WHO HAD TO COME BARK IT WAS ALL OF THE--
YOU KNOW, THEY HAD PROTOCOL.
AND IT WAS A LOT OF, YOU KNOW, MASKS, SHIELD, FULL BEEKEEPER'S
UNIFORM ON, YOU KNOW.
ONE DAY I JUST WORE A BURQUA.
JUST COVERED MYSELF AND NO ONE EVEN KNEW IT WAS ME, OKAY.
AND THEN-- BUT WE HAVE A LADY HERE THAT IS-- I LIKE TO HER HER
THE PRO-PO.
SHE'S THE PROTOCOL POLICE.
SHE'S THE PRO-PO.
ANYTHING, IF YOU'RE DRINKING A COFFEE AND YOU PUT IT DOWN ON
SOMETHING, THEN SHE'S COMING THROUGH A SANITIZERS AND YOU'VE
GOT TO WIPE IT BEFORE YOU COULD GET BACK UP.
IT'S A LOT UPON.
I'M LIKE THE COFFEE IS ALREADY HOT.
I BELIEVE THAT THE CORONAVIRUS DOESN'T WORK WELL IN HEAT
ACCORDING TO THE PRESIDENT, THAT WHEN IT WAS GOING TO WARM UP, IT
DIDN'T WORK.
SO I'VE GOT LOGIC OF WHY I THINK THIS IS FINE.
SO I'M NOT UNDERSTANDING WHY I HAVE TO WIPE ALL THIS STUFF
DOWN.
BUT WHATEVER.
>> Stephen: THAT CLIP THAT WE JUST SAW HAD LAUGHTER IN IT, BUT
THERE'S NO LIVE AUDIENCE, RIGHT?
BECAUSE OF COVID, YOU GUYS CAN'T HAVE ONE.
>> YEAH.
>> Stephen: SO THAT'S A LAUGH TRACK.
WHAT-- WHAT IS-- AND IT'SANDABLE THAT YOU HAVE ONE BECAUSE IT'S--
THAT'S, YOU KNOW, YOU HAVE NO CHOICE AT THIS POINT.
DO YOU EVER HAVE ANY DISAGREEMENTS ON HOW THE PEOPLE
ACTUALLY LAY THE LAUGHS IN?
BECAUSE YOU'RE A PROFESSIONAL.
YOU HAVE PERFORMED LIVE YOUR ENTIRE CAREER.
YOU KNOW WHAT THAT SOUND LIKE.
DO DO YOU EVER GO LIKE, "NO, THAT WOULD HAVE BEEN BIGGER."
OR "THAT WOULD HAVE BEEN A LITTLE TRAIL-OFF, A LITTLE TAIL
ON THAT, AND I WOULD HAVE RIDDEN IT OFF TO THE NEXT LAUGH."
>> EXACTLY.
YOU LISTEN TO THE LAUGH SOMETIMES AND YOU SEE THE EDIT,
AND YOU'RE LIKE MAN, THAT'S NOT-- LISTEN TO THE JOKE, AND
YOU KNOW THAT THAT LAUGH WOULD HAVE BEEN ONE THAT KIND OF,
LIKE, CAUGHT ON.
AND YOU NEED THAT.
THAT'S THE ONE THAT'S-- ( LAUGHING ).
>> Stephen: CAN I JUST GET A RECORDING OF HIM LAUGHING AND
PLAY THAT DURING THIS SHOW BECAUSE I WOULD FEEL MUCH
BETTER.
>> NOT ALL LAUGHS ARE AT THE SAME LEVEL.
WE KNOW THIS AS BEING STAND-UP.
THEY LISTEN TO ME SOMETIMES, STEPHEN, I HAVE BEEN ABLE TO GET
INTO THE LAB EDITZ AND WORK WITH THEM, AND WE'RE GETTING BETTER.
THAT WAS OUR FIRST ONE.
THAT WAS THE FIRST ONE.
>> Stephen: CEDRIC, WE HAVE TO TAKE A QUICK BREAK.
STICK AROUND, EVERYBODY, WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH MORE CEDRIC
THE ENTERTAINER.
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