Are you dating someone you like a lot, but you’re just not really sure where things
stand? Are you wondering if you’re being played… or even used? Do you want to make
sure that you aren’t over thinking things or just need more confirmation that you’re
dating a player? Then this video is for you because I’m going to share the top tens
signs that you are being played.. So don’t go anywhere, because we’re starting in 4
seconds.
hi everyone.. I’m dr Antonio Borrello, Welcome to my channel. I’m a psychologist and relationship
coach and I make weekly dating and relationship advice videos focused on helping you build
great relationships so you can grow happy with the people you love. So, if you’re
interested in making your love life the best part of your life, start now by clicking the
subscribe button and the bell notification so you aren’t missing anything. Ok. So on
to the top ten signs you’re being played.
When reflecting on past relationships or should I say situationships, people often recognize
early warning signs they previously overlooked. Sometimes they were blinded by love and minimized
the red flags they saw. Others people hide in denial and rationalize bad behavior. Don’t
let that happen to you… it will only result in heart ache and pain. Learn these top 10
signs you’re being played and the reasons for you to rethink your relationship.
10. They don’t make plans or commitments with you. In other words, They only have time
for you last minute. They tell you they want to see you, but they are always busy with
work, or school, or family — those are all great reasons. But if they only have time
late at night — or on certain days of the week without explanation — something is
wrong. And oftentimes, they will have plenty of time to see you for sex... just no time to
spend you before or after.
Remember, No matter how busy a person is, if you or your relationship is important and
a high priority, they will find the time or make the time for you. If they don’t make
the time, a relationship just might not be a priority.
9. He’s a master of excuses When he does make plans with you, he often
cancels them last minute with excuses. He "had to work late," or "forgot about a thing"
he already had scheduled. Look, life happens.. things come up, and sometimes we really have
to cancel plans last minute. But when a person is serious about you, they want to reschedule
and want to make sure you know that they are sorry. They will also want to confirm a time
to reschedule.
8. They don’t Consistently Return Your Calls or Texts.
OK, this one might be obvious. When a person is excited about a new love interest, they’re
eager to stay in touch and communicate with their partner. If you’re anything like
me, you would also check your phone for text messages or missed calls more frequently,
just to be certain that you hadn’t missed any communication. And when you receive
a new text or call, you are happy to return the message. And I’m not suggesting that
someone always has to return your calls or texts within a particular time frame… but
they should be responding and communicating with you on a consistent basis…. After all,
isn’t that how relationships are formed?
7. He keeps you a secret on social media. Does the person you’re dating avoid posting
photos of the two of you together? Is that person otherwise active on social
media? I mean is that person constantly updating Instagram or facebook and posting photos with
friends? Do you feel like you’re the only one who doesn’t get any love on his social
media accounts? If yes, have you two discussed this? New
couples who are excited about a future together usually want to share their happiness with
friends and family. If that’s not happening in your situation, you should certainly ask
why?
6. They don’t take you out in public This is another huge red flag. The person
you’re dating always wants to stay in.. or meet at your place. This doesn’t just
happen once, it happens over and over.. and when you ask about it… they give you lame
excuses for why they can't go out with you…. They don’t have the money, they are tired…
The real reasons.. they either don’t want to put in the effort, or they are keeping
your relationship a secret… why? Hmmm ask him.
5. They are only nice when they want something from you.
Is he only nice when he knows he’ll be able to get something out of it? When he knows
that being nice to you is going to benefit him in some way.. or only when he wants to
hook up for sex? This is a major red flag.
Ok.. so now were getting into the more serious ones.. make sure you keep watching because
these are the really important once you can afford to miss.
4. Dating a Person Who is Giving You ‘Mixed Messages’
In all relationships, we communicate simultaneously on at least two levels; what we say, and what
we do. Usually, a person’s verbal and actual behaviors
convey the same message. Mixed messages are inconsistencies in communication,
where a person may say one thing, but act on another.
Getting mixed messages from a person you really like makes them difficult to understand, and
harder to trust. Nice words are good to hear, but follow-up actions have a much bigger impact.
If the actions don’t meet the words, It’s time to re-evaluate.
3. It’s always about the hook up. He never wants to stay the night after being
intimate, and wakes you up if you accidentally fall asleep at his place. Waking up next to
you might mean spending more time with you, and he definitely doesn't want that. Does
that sound like a person you’re dating? If so, perhaps its time to Kick him to the
curb.
2. They tell you they don’t want anything serious because They’re ‘Afraid of Getting
Hurt’ I understand that people are cautious with
their heart.. especially after being devastated or hurt. So, it’s Certainly appropriate
to learn from our experiences and to take things slowly. At the same time, when you
meet that one special person who turns your world upside down, you’re willing to do
whatever it takes to keep that person in your life.
Whatever fears you might have won’t come close to the fear of losing the one you really
love. If a person won’t commit because they are
“afraid of getting hurt,” then move on and find the one that’s afraid of losing
you.
And the number one sign that you’re being played.. the most important sign..
1. Your Intuition tells you that something isn’t right.
If deep down you feel like something isn’t right with this person, you’re probably
right. You are noticing it for a reason. You caught a glimpse of a text message weeks ago?
You remember something he or she said to you on your first date that is now resurfacing?
When you start to put the pieces together, your suspicions will, without a doubt, be
right. if you don’t listen to anything else I say, listen to this: Intuition is your best
friend. So Don’t Ignore Your Best Friend’s Advice.
But I know, I know… I’ve been there too… hearing that little voice in my head telling
me that something just isn’t right, but choosing to ignore it in favor of what I wanted.
It’s the D word - Denial. Our brains use self-justification and self-deception
to manipulate our thoughts and behaviors to explain, defend, and protect us from recognizing
unacceptable truths. And when we blind ourselves to our true motivations and feelings, we unwittingly
sabotage our own efforts for happiness and satisfying relationships.
Don’t let it happen to you! When making difficult decisions, fight the urge to ignore
what your best friend would advise. Listen to your best friend, make the decision, and
then act on it. Period. That’s practicing self love.. and it can be challenging especially
in times when we are feeling hurt and facing difficult decisions. But by doing what you
know you should do, you are actually strengthening your love for yourself, and your ability to
recognize the things that are undermining your well-being and happiness. Use your intuition..
and listen to your best friend. You’ll thank yourself later.
Ask your partner important questions and talk about your feelings. If you find you are hesitant,
or find that your partner becomes defensive or won’t address these things… doesn’t
that give you your answer? So, Are you in a situation or dating a person
you really like, yet you don't know where you stand? If so, why are you sticking it
out? Leave a comment below and I'll tell you what I think about the situation.
Oh, and if you’re interested in more videos that will help you build great relationships
so you can grow happy with the people you love, make sure you’ve subscribed so you
aren’t missing anything. And please hit that thumbs up button to let me know you found
this video helpful. Thanks for watching.. I'll see you in the next video