I didn’t want to make this video, for a long time.
Not because Constantine XI is some drab old king bogged down in meaningless politics,
of course, but because I was honestly afraid that I wouldn’t be able to do this story
justice, because Constantine stood on the shoulders of giants, just giants all the way
down, this is the final act Europe’s most enduring and adaptive civilization, and some
part of me always hoped I could somehow precede this episode with the two thousand years building
up to it, every quote-unquote defensive war preserved in the annals of Livy, every great
rivalry, every foolhardy emperor, every twist and turn of court intrigue, ever unlikely
rebound against the savage march of time.
But at the end of the day, I reckoned that even if I were to survive the tantalizing
honeytrap that’s nipped at certain other creators, I would just turn into “the other
Rome guy” next to Dovahatty, and there’s simply too much fun to be had nearly everywhere
else in the world at every other point in history, and to consign this particular story
to the dark chest of tales for another time would be a terrible tragedy.
And so without further ado, I give you Constantine XI: The Last of the Romans
Constantine: Oh God, Iisoús Christós, it - it’s disappearing!
It’s all disappearing, thinning day by day before my eyes, never again to be as full
and beautiful as it once was!
Byzantine: It’s okay, Basileus!
I just got half off my first order of Keeps, we have the power to challenge fate and stop
this decay in its tracks!
Constantine: Well hurry up, use it!
... The empire, Jerry.
I’m not gonna lose my hair.
Byzantine: That’s what you think, but statistically two out of three men will have some form of
hair loss by the time they’re 35!
Constantine: Wait seriously?
That’s, that’s a lot more than I was expecting.
Byzantine: Uh-huh!
Look, the only way to save a nation is with years and years of concerted effort at every
level of society, but there’s no reason to let your hair go the way of the Byzantines
when affordable hair loss treatment can be delivered to your door for as little as ten
dollars a month!
Get half off your first purchase at Keeps.com/JackRackam Constantine: Thank you Jerry.
I needed that.
So I am going to give you just a little bit of context.
The Eastern Roman Empire, or for brevity’s sake the Byzantines, had it rough for a long
time.
They lost the city of Rome and then they bounced back!
And then they lost everything in Asia and then they bounced back!
Then they had their entire empire taken over by Western Europeans and then they bounced
back!
But, as was too often the case, their attention was split across the Bosphorus between their
rivals to the East and their rivals to the West, and strife in the Balkans allowed the
Ottomans to steal away Anatolia for the final time, then John V got his hands tied in multiple
civil wars, and the Eastern Roman Empire has gone from this to this to this
Emperor Manuel II was Constantine’s father, and before he became emperor he was a hostage
of the Ottomans, who forced him in a cruel twist of irony to take part in the conquest
of the last Christian city in Anatolia.
Only a few years after taking the throne he had to deal with the Ottomans laying siege
to Constantinople.
It was one of the greatest cities in the world, but its mighty walls were built a thousand
years ago for, y’know, catapults and big pieces of wood, not so much cannons, and it
was severely underpopulated.
Things were getting so dire he had to flee the city to go in person to beg the leaders
of Europe for support, even showing up in Venice under the shadow of all the stuff they
stole from Constantinople when they sacked it a couple hundred years ago, but no matter
where he went everyone told him “Ay, another round of drinks to the emperor!
We got you some new clothes, and new carriages, and-” “I cannot stress this enough, my
civilization is actually dying.
Please tell me you have weapons and soldiers” “Ehhh we got you a Keurig?”
By some miracle, the empire, if you can call it that, was saved by the fact that Timur
had taken over all of Persia and had his eyes set on pretty much the rest of Asia, and the
Ottomans were pissing themselves.
The Venetians actually came to help some of the Ottomans escape, because they were enemies,
but the Venetians wanted to go back to fighting the scary enemy instead of the really scary
enemy.
Timur died in 1405 but not before killing the Ottoman sultan, sending both empires into
civil war, and buying the Byzantines precious time to regroup and make small gains in the
Peloponnese region against the remnants of the Latin empire.
Manuel was on friendly terms with Ottoman Sultan Mehmed I, but meddled in the next Ottoman
succession crisis and earned the wrath of Murad II, the man who eventually won and laid
siege to Constantinople in 1422.
Manuel goes on tour again, this time visiting Hungary to see the Holy Roman Emperor Sigismund
who says “Ehhhh-” “You’re not interested” “No, no, I’m interested, I - I’m open
to the idea, it’s a great idea, but ahhhhh I’m a little busy” “You’re busy.”
“I’m busy!
I’m busy, I’ve got my own wars, you know?”
Peace was made with the Ottomans at the expense of paying yearly tribute, effectively turning
the Byzantines into Ottoman vassals.
An old and jaded Manuel II eventually gave up hope on finding security from the West,
but his successor John VII had to hope against hope.
He saw one way to ensure the Roman Empire’s survival, and it would make him a Pariah among
his own people.
The church in Constantinople split apart from the growing influence of the Pope in Rome
centuries before, but if there was one man who could bring Europe together to fight for
a cause, it was the Pope.
John planned to lay the Eastern Orthodox church at the Pope’s feet and acknowledge him as
the church’s supreme authority.
The Pope called a council at Florence to discuss the matter.
To leave Constantinople was a risk, knowing there was no true state of peace with the
Ottomans, but one he would have to take, and so he tasked his younger brother Constantine
with the city’s defense.
Now because this is a video ostensibly about him I’ll mention that Constantine was not
the next oldest in the family, but he’d won John’s trust after fighting to protect
the city in 1422 and drafting the peace deal with the Ottoman sultan.
John takes with him the patriarch of Constantinople and a whole court of diplomats and church
leaders, over 700 men in all, and took his seat at the council, this big epic hall with
the Pope on one side and the Patriarch of Constantinople on the other, on one side the
Emperor of the East and on one side the Emperor of - actually the Holy Roman Emperor couldn’t
make it, he had a thing.
John spent almost two years there, and while they couldn’t agree on everything, John
remained committed, and even if it was extremely favorable to one side, there was a feeling
that 400 years of division might be coming to an end.
He came home to a parade:
[John’s procession of church leaders return, very few cheers.
Then booing that gets louder and louder]
John: “They’re resentful.”
Constantine: “No duh, dingus.
You took their leaders with you and two years later they come back saying sorry everyone,
it turns out your religion is bunk.”
John: “Do you think I betrayed them?”
Constantine: “Well you sacrificed our faith, and the independence of our church.
But the Ottomans will be back.
And if we fight them alone… we’re screwed.
Once this city watched over the world…
if your sacrifice means the world will now watch over us, it'll be worth it.”
And now, because this video is ostensibly about Constantine XI, we’ve got to go back
in time a little bit.
While John was taking up his father’s sword in any attempt to win the protection of his
Christian neighbors, Constantine was also embarking on a mission for the empire’s
future.
Like I said, Constantine wasn’t type next oldest son, he was like the fourth, but because
he’d impressed John with his heroism in 1422, he was made the Despot of the Morea,
i.e. the Peloponnese peninsula, which he shared with two of his brothers because there really
was not a lot of land to go around.
The Peloponnese really became Constantine’s pet project, he once staked all his holdings
on capturing a nearby town with just his own men, he rode into battle, his horse was shot
from under him, it was a much longer and bloodier conflict than the pride of the mighty Roman
Empire should allow, but Constantine fought for every inch and defended it all against
counter-invaders, until eventually, for the first time since the fourth Crusade, the Byzantines
held the entire peninsula again.
It’s very inspiring as long as you ignore the whole zero-sum game of conquest.
If anything, the hope of the empire wasn’t in Constantinople at all.
The Peloponnese was every year home to new churches, new monasteries, new mansions, it
was a home to the arts and sciences, and the whole darn thing was walled off from the rest
of Greece in a ghastly expensive defense effort.
Just like Constantinople was the New Rome, there was a sense that, maybe, the future
for the Byzantines would be as the New Sparta.
Not so grand and sweepingly powerful as Rome, but a small and sturdy kingdom that could
flourish in its own way.
And as any good Spartan would do, Constantine went to war with Athens.
Athens was held by an Ottoman vassal, but Constantine would take a gamble.
There was a Crusade coming to the Ottomans led by Poland, Lithuania, Hungary, Croatia,
Serbia, Wallachia, Bulgaria, the Papal State, and so if there was ever a time to quietly
move some territory effectively from one Ottoman vassal to another, this was it.
And that too was a great success, the people of Greece were happy to pay tribute to the
Byzantines instead of the Ottomans, but unfortunately the Crusade was short lived.
The Polish king nearly ran straight into the Ottoman Sultan and captured him, but the king’s
horse fell and he was killed, sending the rest of the army into a hasty retreat and
leaving the Sultan very aware of Constantine’s little excursion.
He didn’t even bother conquering the Peloponnese, he reduced its wall to rubble and ran through
Constantine’s New Sparta, destroying everything in his path and slaughtering his men.
The Peloponnesian project would never recover.
John died in 1448.
Constantine was crowned in a very quiet ceremony in the Peloponnese.
Being crowned by the Patriarch like every emperor before him might have sparked unrest
in the west over the matter of the church’s union.
The Ottoman Sultan died in 1451.
The old and tired ruler was replaced by the young and ambitious Mehmed II who had grown
up idolizing Alexander the Great and was mere miles away from one of the most prestigious
Greek cities of all time.
He promises a lifetime of peace, but uh… better safe than sorry.
Constantine tries to raise money for defenses by taxing the Venetian merchants in town,
but they all threaten to leave for Ottoman ports, so Constantine pulls out his trump
card.
He had in his custody the Ottoman Prince Orhan, a cousin of the Sultan and the only other
man on Earth with a claim to the throne.
Constantine was being paid to keep an eye on him somewhere where he had no possible
allies, and so Constantine approached Mehmed explaining he needed more money to take care
of Prince Orhan or else he might have to let him go and y’know if he stakes his claim
that’s his prerogative.
Mehmed says “If you wanna start something, go ahead and start something”
In Spring 1492 one of Constantine’s advisors takes a gander across the Bosporus strait
and asks “My emperor, has that gigantic castle directly across the water from our
capital always been there?”
“What?
Yeah, it’s like a hundred years old.”
“Oh, God, that’s a relief.
What about that gigantic castle on the same side of the water as us?”
“...Nope, that one’s new.”
Mehmed had demolished a few churches to build his new fortress, delightfully named the throat-slitter
for its control of the strait, and when they protested he murdered them.
Constantine, preparing for the third or fourth blockade of the city in his lifetime, declared
war in retaliation.
He quickly realized that may have been a bad idea and tried to step back, but it was too
late now.
Mehmed was all in.
“Either I shall take this city,” he said, “Or the city shall take me.
Deny me peaceful entry I shall force my way in and I shall slay you and all your nobles;
and I shall slaughter all the survivors and allow my troops to plunder at will.
The city is all I want, even if it is empty.”
(After which point I feel like I should point out that Constantine ordered the execution
of all Turks inside the city, big yikes all around)
Well, it was a good thing John devoted his life and sacrificed his people’s way of
life and tarnished his own name for the sake of this very moment.
Constantine sent letters across Europe to tell everyone now was the time.
The Roman Empire, mother of Europe, was in its final hours, and one of the holiest sites
of Christendom would soon fall unless something was done.
A new Crusade, a fleet of thousands to arrive in the city’s golden harbrour.
“....Is this it?
A few supplies?”
“Oh, and John Hunyadi sent you a birthday card.”
“...Well I appreciate your being here.
Never would have expected to fight alongside Venice.”
“Don’t flatter yourself, we’re only here because the Ottomans blew up one of our
ships a few weeks ago.”
Even his brothers in the Peloponnese couldn’t send help.
The peninsula had been built to be self-sufficient and, alas, greatly apart from Constantinople,
and they were overwhelmed with Ottoman forces.
The city was utterly and completely alone.
To give you a sense of how little Constantine had to work with, here was a city filled with
churches and mansions, some of the finest in the world, now in disrepair.
Even the old royal palace was abandoned.
Istanbul today is home to about 15 million people, during the middle ages it hit around
500,000, but in this moment there was only one tenth that.
That’s the population of Nampa Idaho defending one of the largest cities in the world against
an empire of millions.
The only thing standing between those 50,000 people and their doom were the Theodosian
Walls, the same that saved the city from capture 800 years before.
And every person inside would have to come to their aid.
Every man and woman, every foreign visitor stuck inside, Catholic and Orthodox, pitched
into the fight for survival, at the very least manning the walls to make it look like there
were more defenders inside.
The thunder of cannons began on April 6, 1453.
They were powerful, of course, but slow and imprecise, giving the defenders enough time
to repair the damage.
Likewise the Byzantines found some success at sea, dragging chain across the channel
to deny Mehmet’s ships from firing into the city.
Commander: “I don’t mean to jinx it, but…
I feel good.
They’ve shown they cannot breach our defenses, so unless their ships can sail o’er the
hills, our waters are safe.
Why’re you looking at me like that?”
Bad omens would befall them next.
A Lunar eclipse on the 22nd of May.
Constantine rallied to restore the city’s resolve.
He brought out the icon of the virgin Mary and paraded her through the streets.
“O Stavros Nika!
Be guided by the feats of your fathers and fear not the Sultan’s fathomless maw.
Here is the Queen of Cities, once proud and blooming as the sweetest flower of all the
field, the shield and aid of our homeland, the shelter of Christians…
I have entrusted her to you as you have to me.”
On the 28th of May the cannons ceased.
Mehmed prepared for a final assault, and everyone who wasn’t on duty repairing the walls gathered
in the Hagia Sophia to pray.
Emperor Constantine sat in the dread stillness and prayed for forgiveness.
There would be no sleep, the attack began in the early hours of morning and the fighting
would rage for hours before sunrise where the walls were weakest.
But ultimately the city’s fall would be at the hands of human error.
A company of 50 Ottoman soldiers found a gate left ajar and ran on inside.
Defenders within tried desperately to stop them from reaching the top of the walls, but
they made it up and hoisted an Ottoman flag for all to see.
The full army came rushing into the city.
Civilians were captured, one cardinal fled the city disguised as a slave, Mehmed’s
cousin was caught dressed as a monk.
Emperor Constantine was told to escape the brewing carnage, to flee to the Morea and
rule thence.
“Once this city mastered the entire universe.
She placed beneath her feet Pontus, Armenia, Numidia, Italy, Ethiopia, Spain, Phoenicia,
Arabia, Mesopotamia, the lands of the Celts and the Amazonians.
Our empire, presently humbled, did fell the walls of Carthage, rival the Parthians and
Sassanids, repel the savage Huns, slay the Bulgars, see the Seljuks return to dust, tame
the wild Mongols, and cast out the Latins.
If she is now finally to be devoured by the House of Osman… then as my city falls, I
will fall with her.”