Hello, everybody. My name is Markiplier, and welcome to Sexy Hiking..
Now, IGNORE the quality of what you see here..
When I was playing "Getting Over It", He (Bennett Foddy) mentioned this game. This game was the inspiration for-
.."Getting Over It"..! So, I wanted to play, and see just how infuriating the-
original 2002 game (Sexy Hiking).. was..
Oh, God. OH GOD.. Oh, it's even worse.
Okay, alright..
Ah-... Naah..
No-aAAAAAAH..
Oh, boy.. WoOAAAAAA... Hey, how's it going there, friendo? Oh.. I do not like you.
*chuckle* (Huh-huh-huh..!)
Ooooookay, alright. I see what's going on here. I see, EXACTLY, where you got inspired to do this bulls***.
Oh boy.
Okay, hang on.. Hop..! Oh, boy..
Yup.
Uhh, ohh
Noope!
Ayeyaye..
Oh..Well, there I go then! ..There- some- OOOH....
*weird squeaking noise* (EEEAAH.)
...What was that? Oh, boy..
..NOOOO!!! Goddamnit.. Oh, you sack of s***. Oh, you're gonna be just as hard as the other one aren't 'cha?
How in the hell..?
Cuz you can't- You can't- You can't bring your hammer.. around.. fast enough..?
..What?
WHAAAAT JUST HAPPENED?! D= ???
WHAT JUST HAPPENED!!??
*Screams* (AAAAHHHH!!!!!).
I don't know what happened..! Hang on.. Oh, boy..
So, obviously, this game is meant to be frustrating. That much is readily apparent.
But... how frustrating is the question, right?
Yeah.
..cuz I, LITERALLY, cannot swing my hammer around fast enough-..
..to be able to get where I need to go, so I have to be able to...
Well, there's gotta be a way, right...?
WHOA..! HEY!!! Goddamnit! Son of a b****!
Alright,
But at least this one is consistent!...Like, it's BULLS*** obviously, but at least this one's consistent, huh....?
What? I didn't do anything like that!
I didn't do anything like that.
*scoff* Goddamnit.....
I'm gonna get mad over this one.
He was right. You were gonna be fumbling around the, F***ING, tree, in the opening, goddamn, segment of the game...for 10 HOURS...
If you figure out the- woahhAAAAAAAAAAHHHYEE!
Well, as you figure out WHAT the heck you're supposed to do here, THAT DOESN'T MAKE ANY GODDAMN SENSE!!
I can't-.... It's some-
Like-.. It-.. You cun-
You CAN...
...HURMPHH off..
You can HURMPH OFF yourself. Uu- Okay.. Oh.... F**K... How are you supposed to HURMPH, and catch?
Is that what you're supposed to do? You're supposed to hurmph and catch?
Well, why didn't it hurmph?
HEY! OH! OH! I HURMPHED, and caught.
Oh.
NOO- AAAAHHH!!!!!
ooooohhhhh- NOOOO!!! AAAAAHHH...
Goddamnit! DAAOOOHH!!!!!!!!!!!!! It's only what I like- What if- If I was just flailing against madness here,
I wouldn't be too upset about it, you know? It's a thing, right? Like, if I was just...
F***......
If, I was just..
subje-AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!! If, I was... JUST SUBJECTING MYSELF TO-
IMPOSSIBLE
BULLSHIT..! I wouldn't, ever, ha- I-... I wouldn't care right? I wouldn't care.
It's because I CARE... THAT I-.. Oooooh, f***.. It's BECAUSE I CARE...
...SO MUCH!!!!!!!! >=D
That's why I-.. I'm an amazing person..
That's why.. That's why I'm conversing. Okay, well, you have to be.. JUUUUUUST off of the edge of it.
Hit that - Daaah hhh....Wuu-
Hey, no! NO! NO! NO!! NO!!!! WHAT ARE YOU DOING!? WHAT ARE YOU DOING!? STAAAAAAAP!!!!
Stoop..! ( JESUS CHIRST)
NoAAAAAAAAAAHHOOOH!!!!
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa...Easy up there, Humer... (Kinda sounds like "WHO-mer", don't ya think?).
Ohh
Easy there.....Easy there..
...EASY there...
e- UUUH..
No... You know what? I ain't gonna do that.. Well, why do I need to do that when I can do.... THIS MANEUVER?
*With a cresendo of pleasure in his tone* Alright..
AWRIGHT!
AWRIIIIIGHT!!
Whaaahhhaaayyy!!..
Alright, we're making progress. We're making STUPID progress, but we're making progress, nonetheless..
Okay.. AH. I was- I was just wondering, if it was like an invisible or a horrible place. YOU know...
like... Cin..cin..NATI!
Oookay, I don't know what happened there.
That was not wh- Why are you HUMPHING so weak? Just HUMPH it!..... Okay, there we go.
Why can't you humph it right here? Humph it right here... Right here... This is where you do it...
NOOO..! DON"T HUMPH THAT!!! Just GRAB that!
Ah, ah- OOh, what are you? What are you? What are you? Are you a CHECKPOINT? Please tell me you're a checkpoint, huh?
"Checkpoint": "WELL DONE!"
"Checkpoint": *Laughing in-game*.
WHYYYY??
HEY!!!!
OH...GOD! I got DONE with the FIRST LEVEL? WHAT?!
CHECKPOINTS..? Well, that can't be right.
Well, that can't be right, at all- UH- Oh... Well, this looks bullshit... Oh, yeah.. This looks..
indeedy-DOO bullshit.
Goddamnit.. Oh.. This is gonna be a SACK of tits, ain't it?
...WOOOOAAAA-... UH-
Okay, how do you expect-
Aaahh!
HOW in THE heck?
Aagh!
OKAY. ALRIGHT. Akay.. AAAAAGH, NO HUMPHING! NO HUMPHING, RIGHT NOW!
Pleaaassseeee?
Pleabse, no humph...
NOOAAHHH
You just clipped through that like a sack of tits!
Okay, no humphing, no humphing.
(God, this music's hype.) ♪ Water World- Donkey Kong Country 3 ♪
NO!!
OOAAAHH!
..COME ON, you SACK OF S***!
OH, just BACK UP your... aaaAAAAAAH!!! I don't know what! ....Back up your BULLS***.
And just- TAKE it to the state FEAR.... (What he said sounds like "state fair"...?)
( God, my insults are getting worse and worse. )
No.. NOOO! COME ON..! Stop doing that..
At least, this one DOESN'T have the infuriating, loss-of-progress bulls***.
But, going an INCH might as well be going a MILE in this... sack of tits..
( *extremely intense concentration* . I _____ I)
Am I hitting the top of it or something?
Gotta humph away?
God.. But if I humph away, I can't get- HOW did I get this the FIRST try?
This is ALWAYS how it goes..
I get something on the first GODDAMN tr- *gasp*
AAAAAAAAAAAGH
Come on.... What are you DOING now? Now, I don't even know what you're doing.. Okay.
Can you just- .. WHY can't you just get there now?! What the hell!?
He's HUMPHING at EVERYTHING now...... God, why?!
WHY?! Just.. WHY?!?!.... WHY is he suddenly HUMPHING at everything?!
$ṲṔℰℝ $У ℬϴḺϟ (YYY!!?) n$ṲṔℰℝ $У ℬϴḺϟWRYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY
NoooOOO..
HOW DID I GET THIS ON THE Fir- HOW DID I GET THIS ON THE FIRST TRY?!
GOD-f***ing-damn it.. WHY?!?!
*extreme frustration* WHY is that WEAK?! Why! ?
Son of a b!*&#!
This isn't even that- God, this- Oh, COME ON. Just stay on the F***ING LEDGE!
OH..WHY!!? I can't even get up.. THERE now?
WHY?
Why?
Why would you be weak there?
I'm not doing anything...
Look! Hands are off.
*blep* ( I ‿ I )
D-don't ask me, because I don't have a f***ing clue what's going on.
Seriously. HOW did I get this the first time?
HOW? I don't understand..
Oh!
Just... barely
there.
Okay, let's try this again,
but less stupidly, huh?
See; I'm not doing that bounce. I am NOT doing that bounce, I'm not about that bounce.
wooh
Why? You clipped through again. Why does he clip through? I am well outside of your boundary b****.
Hoo-
No, no, no, No! What? No! Come on!
WHAT THE HELL?
It just clips through. Well, that's not even fair!
Well, that's not even fair! It's just a broken game at that point!
Come on, 2002 developer! (or Jazzuo) Get your head out of your ass!
And make this game- oh, fucking hell.
Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay
Yeeeeeeaaaah, baby!
yeah, baby. Yeah, baby. Yeah, baby. Yeah, baby. Okay, right, this is where things might get a little dicey.
'Cause, there's no way than I'm gonna be able to- oooh.
Okay. I have to push off..
and grab the tippy-toppy of that.
Maybe I don't, maybe I don't, maybe I don't, maybe it's-
Maybe this is just a fool's errand to try to do that, but I don't think
*concentration*
I'm not gonna be able to- I've done this with the other branches that look just like this.
Yeah, that's not gonna work.
So, dooooooon't
Okay, why did I go bouncy like that?
Why are you bouncy like that?
Woooooooahhh!
*hermph*
Okay.
NOOOOOOOO!
Come onnnnnnn!
God damnit!
God damnit, no wonder this game is f***ing infuriating.
No wonder everyone LOVES it, no wonder that guy LOVES it, no wonder Bennett Foddy LOVES this game.
Come on! I'm obviously not humphing that!
If you could- ohh, if you could just stop being a bag of dicks!
Please.
God, I just want to get to the top of this one; the second level,
I want to get to the top of the second level, is that really so much to ask? Okay. That was weird.
Apparently, that was his nodding "Yes."
*imitates sexy hiker* "Yes, it is too much to ask, you sack of shit." Don't even- no-
Why?
WHY?!
It's YOU shaking! It's not me!
It's you- why does he shake?
It's li- it's like some weird juxtaposition of: 'if you do it- if you hold too long, the MOUSE gets all kinds of confused.'
Why... that made no sense?
I think it's- I think it's- you have to hold the mouse as far away from like your actual
WHY?
I WAS NOT HUMPHING.
You are humphing up a storm.
Good God.
You shaky bastard j-
WHY?
Why the hell do you choose to be a stupid idiot?! You could be a smart pants,
'cause you only are pants; you have no body!
God-
Oh, f*** OFF with you,
Jesus Christ.
Oh my God!
Are you kidding me?
See, this game, It's not as
It's not as like, painful
as the other one (referring to Getting Over It); the other one had stakes, like, you made progress, you did it! this one is just a sack of shit!
Like that's the only thing that's-
Oh, god.
That's the only thing that's bad about this game
Is that it's a sack of inconsistent s#!!, and it's probably broken.
It's probably a hundred percent broken.
The reason Getting Over It is like emotionally scar-
Oh f^@- *ungodly belch noise* -k off
The reason why Getting Over It is emotionally scarring-
Why can't I get- I am as gentle as a f***in' butterfly right now.
The reason why Getting Over It is so emotionally traumatizing is because you do make all this progress-
Why did you just phase through that? Why did you do that?
-and when you make so much progress, and it
tortures you, because it shows you what you could have done like-
Ohh-
Come on!
Alright, I'm only gonna give this a few more tries.
I'm only gonna walk straight into hell a few more times guys,
I'm only gonna put these bees in my eyeball a few more times, and then I'm gonna- then I might even find out
You know? I just I just want to know- maybe it won't sting me in the eye like the third or fourteenth-
*slightly triggered*
Oh, no! It stung me again; the bees that I put in my eyes! Well. Let me hear- Let me climb up this mountain
Let me, let me dip my balls in LAVA. Let me just do that. Let me see if that-
I don't know it hurt, like it burnt them off the first time. Maybe it won't happen the 17th time.
Maybe, maybe it won't let me try that.
Oh, God, let me try- oh, God.
Hey, you know, Getting Over It scarred me bad enough.
Why don't I play the original progenitor that's probably even worse than it? Oh, yeah, that's probably a good idea.
F**ing hell, g- Oh...
Ahh
God, it's getting to me. It's getting to me. It's getting to me. It is getting to me.
It is getting me.
It's got me.
It's got me in its grasp!
It's got me in it's hammer-y grasp!
Stop that, whatever- whatever that is, just don't do that!
All you have to do is NOT do the shaky!
I don't get that.
See look, look, look.
Look, I don't know why it's choosing to be shaky.
See, I'm far away,
it's not as shaky.
Get closer? Shaky. Far away? No shaky. Closer? Shaky.
No-
Nooooooo!
Come on. You shaky piece of shit!
It's like a- it's like a random number generator on how many bones are gonna disappear and reappear in his body.
F***.
Okay. Well. You know, see; what I don't get...
is...
sometimes you go big jump,
sometimes you-
s-
You know? I don't know. I- fucking hell.
Guys, I don't know. I'm gonna stick my head in the lion's den just a few more times.
Just a few more times!
I want to know how it feels on the thirty second time the lion rips my face off.
I just wanna know, I just wanna know how it feeels.
Just slide right in (that's what she said)
There we go. Now just slide right in-
No!
Just slide back in, slide back in, slide back in, slide-
Slide back in!
It's- it's literally all you gotta do, is slide back in.
Slide in-
No!
What the f***- f***ing- f***! I'm done.
I don't need to put myself through this bullshit!!!
I don't need to stick my hand in a gorilla mating patch!
I don't need to rub poison ivy on my-----
*trying to control himself*
penis.
*sigh of defeat*
So I'm not gonna torture myself 'cause I don't need to. I don't want to play this game.
Getting Over It made me want to keep playing it. This game? No.
It's just an exercise in futility because the f***ing game is broken as shit and doesn't work.
So if you want to play Sexy Hiking, it's free.
I'll put in the- for some reason-
-if for some reason you want to torture yourself.
I'll put Sexy Hiking in the, uh, description below so that you can-
-absolutely RUIN your day.
Just-
-if you want that, just go for it.
You know what? I ain't even gonna question you.
I'm trying to phase myself through this wall here,
Hang on-
Wait-
I think he's- I think he's on to something.
"Piccolo, I can't see him!"
"Don't be stupid, he's just moving fast!" God. It just rejects you. It just rejects you.
That's all it really is.
Anyway, I'm done.
So, thank you, everybody, so much, for watching! Let me know what you think down in the comments below.
...And as always....
I will SEE you... in the next video.
*signature Mark outro* Buh-bye! =D
♪ MiniMusicMan- Crazy La Paint ♪