Hello my wonderful friend!
Today's video is on 9 things nice guys do wrong instant attraction killers.
But here's the best part, guys.
Not only are you going to learn what you're doing wrong but you're also going to learn
what to do instead.
Because that's the whole point, right?
Is to know what to do instead so you can get that dream girl, right?
So if you are tired of being the nice guy that no one wants to date and you're ready
to be that total heartthrob and get that dream girl make sure you pay close attention and
make sure you watch to the end.
Before we dive in if this is your first time watching one of my videos, welcome!
My name is Melannie.
I'm a Christian dating coach for men.
I teach you how to stop wasting your time and energy on bad relationships by learning
the skills that instead get you your dream girl and that happy lifelong relationship.
So if that's what you're looking for, that happy lifelong relationship, make sure you
subscribe, ring the notification bell, and give me a big thumbs up.
Okay, are you tired of being the nice guy that no one wants to date?
Are you tired of being ghosted and being in the friend zone?
It's painful, isn't it?
It's time to turn that around, right?
It's time to instead get that dream girl.
Now we're going to go over some of the things nice guys do wrong, like I said, but I want
to point out something very very important.
So please pay close attention.
Are you with me?
Girls don't like bad boys, okay?
I know that's not the popular thing to say.
The truth is though, guys, if she's toxic she likes bad boys because, well, if she's
toxic she's a bad girl.
That's just kind of how it works.
So no matter what you've been told about girls liking bad boys it's not true.
Make sure you watch this video where I go into a lot more detail about this and why
girls don't like bad boys but what you can do instead to be even more attractive than
those bad boys, okay?
There's a link in the description below.
Make sure you watch that one too.
That's what I'm trying to say.
If she is looking for a happy, lifelong relationship why would she want a bad boy?
They're not trustworthy, they're players, they just aren't any fun.
Instead she does in fact want a good man, she wants a good guy.
So it's not that you shouldn't be a good guy, it's not that you shouldn't be nice, instead
you just need to know what common mistakes to avoid and what to start doing instead.
So with that, let's get started.
Okay, the first thing that nice guys do wrong that is an instant attraction killer is acting
like you're her friend.
This is one of the most common reasons nice guys end up in the friend zone, is instead
of acting like a potential partner or someone attractive to date, instead they act like
her friend.
And when that happens she thinks, "oh, well then he must just want to be friends," and
so you get put in the friend zone.
And sometimes you can get out, sometimes you honestly can't.
So rather than acting like her friend you need to instead understand how to attract
her and how to act like more than a friend.
Make sense?
This is one of the biggest benefits of having the right dating and relationship skills.
Instead of acting like a friend you act like an attractive confident man.
Okay, another one of the big things nice guys do wrong that kills the attraction, like dead,
is when you don't set boundaries.
Someone who sets appropriate boundaries has self-respect and they have confidence.
That's the type of person people are drawn to.
Unless of course they're toxic people, but again I'm not teaching you how to attract
toxic women, okay?
So people want to be around people who are confident and who have a healthy self-respect.
So it's very important that you know how to set boundaries.
And honestly in all areas of your life.
I don't mean that you need to set boundaries because she wants to push your boundaries.
If she wants to push your boundaries she's toxic, okay?
That's a fact.
But if she sees that you let people walk on you all the time, that you say yes when really
you want to say no, when you get pushed around by everyone, that shows that you're not confident,
that shows that you don't have that healthy self-respect, and it's exhausting to be in
a relationship with someone like that.
And it makes her feel uncomfortable and awkward.
And what she wants instead is to see you setting those boundaries.
Then she sees you as a confident man, then she sees you as a strong masculine man, and
that is attractive.
This is, honestly, guys, this is one of the biggest things that gets you labeled a nice
guy, is when you let people walk on you.
So setting appropriate boundaries is a game changer.
This is why in my program when I'm teaching the basics of how to be a confident man I
teach how to set appropriate boundaries.
It changes how you see yourself and how you feel about yourself which in turn changes
how everyone else sees you and skyrockets your attraction.
Okay, the next thing nice guys do wrong that kills the attraction and causes you to miss
out on your dream relationship is not taking action.
What do I mean by that?
I mean not being proactive about relationships.
This means just waiting for relationships to just happen or not actively learning what
you need to know to make a relationship work.
Often, as Christians, this is incredibly common in the Christian culture, is just waiting
for God to make it happen.
This doesn't make any sense, guys.
We don't wait for God to do anything else in our lives, right?
We don't just wait for God to fill up our car with gas.
We don't just wait for God to move us to a new home.
We take action.
So one of the biggest things that labels someone a nice guy is when he's not proactive about
dating and relationships, being good at them and knowing how to create them.
Are you getting this?
Is this making sense?
Now this often happens simply because you don't know what to do, right?
How do you move forward?
How are you proactive about that?
What does that even mean?
What does that look like?
Is that what you're wondering right now?
And are you tired of being that nice guy and having no clue how to move forward?
If that's you I've got your back.
I have an all new free masterclass where I teach you the three secrets to finding and
attracting the girl of your dreams.
You're going to learn how to find her even if you've tried everything, you're going to
learn how to become attractive no matter your situation, and how to remove all barriers
between you and your dream girl.
That's powerful information, right?
Can you imagine how good you would feel knowing that?
Again it's a totally free masterclass, there's a link in the description below.
You can totally turn this around.
You don't have to be the nice guy without a girl anymore.
You can be the nice guy who's holding the girl of your dreams.
And you can watch the masterclass right now.
It doesn't matter what time of night or day you're seeing this right now you can watch
it immediately.
So click the link in the description below.
I will also put a link in the pinned comment.
I can't wait for everything you're going to learn over there so make sure you check it
out.
Okay, are you ready for the next thing nice guys do wrong that instantly kills attraction?
It's when you don't pursue.
Women need to be pursued.
That's how God created us.
And don't misunderstand, she's pursuing you and her ways as well.
You need to make sure you know how to identify that, how to see that that's what she's doing.
So it's not that women aren't pursuing it just looks different than how men pursue.
So if she's interested, if she's doing this pursuing but you don't pursue her back, ouch,
that's rejection.
To her that hurts so bad because she thinks you know she's pursuing.
And so if you don't act, wow, that hurts.
In addition to that women are naturally attracted to men who pursue.
She sees you as masculine and confident.
She feels safe with you, she feels drawn to you.
So not pursuing is one of the best ways to end up a nice guy instead of a guy who's holding
the girl of his dreams.
This leads us right into the next thing nice guys do wrong.
And it's when you tell her you have feelings for her before you have been dating for a
while.
A lot of men think that this is what it means to pursue, is, "I'm just going to tell her
I have feelings for her.
I'm just going to tell her how beautiful she is and that I have a crush on her," or whatever
it is.
That's not pursuing, guys.
That's creepy.
I don't know how to say that nicely, guys.
That is creepy to her.
What that does is that assumes an emotional closeness that's not there yet.
She does not want to know that you have feelings for her until you've been dating for a while.
When you're ready to be serious, when you're ready for this to go to boyfriend-girlfriend
status, then you tell her that, but not before.
Otherwise she goes, "whoa, I don't even know this guy.
He doesn't even really know me.
He must want something from me," and it freaks her out.
Never, ever, ever, tell her you have feelings for her until you are ready to take things
to the next level.
Promise me, right now.
In the comments, comment "I promise!"
Do it.
Also, while you're in the comments let me know if you are enjoying this video and if
you like more videos on nice guys and how you can be the nice guy who wins instead of
the nice guy who loses.
If you want more videos like this be sure to comment "nice guy!" to let me know.
It helps me so much when you guys leave me those comments so please drop "nice guy!"
down below if you want more just like this.
Okay, moving on to the next thing nice guys do wrong is not putting in the right effort
for how you look.
And this often comes from not knowing how to look nice.
That's why I spend so much time teaching this in my program as well.
How do you do it?
How do you make sure you look nice?
It also comes from a lack of confidence.
Now thankfully when you do learn how to dress nice and you start dressing nice it just skyrockets
your confidence and your attraction.
But so often what labels someone a nice guy and what frankly kills the attraction very
quickly is when he doesn't dress masculine, he doesn't dress confident, he doesn't dress
in a way that shows off how attractive he is.
Many many many men think they're not attractive when in reality they just have a bad haircut
or their clothes don't fit them right or they're wearing a style that they should not be trying
to wear.
And so it's not that they aren't attractive, it's that they don't understand how to make
that shine.
That's why I love teaching my clients about this.
It's so helpful.
So bottom line, make sure that you are putting in the right effort with how you look.
This includes your haircut, your facial hair, how you dress, making sure your style is modern
and classic and masculine.
The next thing nice guys do wrong that kills attraction instantly is being needy.It's very
easy to be needy.
A good way to tell if you're a needy person is when you need constant affirmation, you
need constant attention, you need constant validation.
And even when you kind of feel like you have to beg her for attention.
That's draining to her.
She doesn't want a needy man.
That's an exhausting relationship.
Instead, she wants a confident man.
Now that doesn't mean that she shouldn't compliment you and support you and encourage you.
Those are all traits you must have in a good relationship, right?
It just means that you also need to be confident in who you are and confident that you have
good things to offer.
Being needy is a really common thing that messes up the approach and messes up pursuing
her the right way.
If you haven't yet seen this video on pursuing do make sure you watch it.
It's going to help you so much.
Bottom line, if you feel like you're a needy person or maybe you feel like you need that
constant validation it's time to skyrocket your confidence instead.
And that simply comes from learning how to do that.
Do make sure you watch that free masterclass.
It's going to help you so much with this.
Seriously I can't wait for you to see it.
So again there's a link in the description below.
Make sure you watch.
Okay, the next thing nice guys do wrong is when they don't show her that they have drive
and ambition.
Interesting people are attractive people.
Someone who is involved in things, someone who has hobbies and interests and who is pursuing
things in life.
Those people are interesting, they're attractive, they're fun.
Where so often why someone gets labeled a nice guy is if he just doesn't seem to have
much to offer, he's just kind of boring, doesn't have a lot to to show.
If instead you show her that you're involved in good things, because you are, that you're
driven and you're pursuing all kinds of wonderful things in life, that's attractive to her,
that's interesting to her.
And honestly, guys, let's be real.
I'm filming this in 2021 and we've been through kind of a rough ride, right?
I don't mean to take away from that in any way.
However now is the perfect time to be adding to who you are so that when you meet her you're
a very interesting person and therefore a very attractive person.
So go online, learn things, watch that masterclass like I told you.
As you are adding to who you are you will naturally become a more attractive person
and step past being that nice guy that no one wants to date.
Make sense?
Okay, and the next thing nice guys do wrong, and guys, this might be one of the biggest
things, is being negative, having a negative attitude.
I cannot tell you guys how many comments I have gotten from men who are like, "girls
don't like nice guys," and then they go on and they rant.
And they are so negative I'm like, dude, that's not your problem.
You are so negative she can't even stand to be around you.
No one wants to spend time with someone who's always focusing on the negative.
It's like Eeyore in Winnie The Pooh.
Do you remember that from your childhood?
He was draining, right?
He's an exhausting character to be around.
Instead of someone who's optimistic and happy and fun and playful.
So it's easy to fall into, especially if you don't have that confidence, it's easy to be
negative about yourself and dating in general.
However it's time to change that.
It's time to become that positive person.
That's what makes you feel better, that's what skyrockets your confidence, and that
is what attracts her.
Okay, let's recap what you have learned so far.
Things that nice guys do wrong instant attraction killers.
Thing number one is acting like her friend instead of a potential date or a potential
partner.
The next thing is when you don't set boundaries.
She wants to see someone confident and masculine, not someone who gets pushed around a lot.
The next thing nice guys do wrong is not taking action.
Just waiting for the relationship to happen, waiting for things to just magically fall
into place.
Instead, you need to be proactive.
You need to learn what to do and do it.
That's how you get results.
That just makes sense, right?
And again if you feel lost, don't know how to do this, watch that free masterclass.
It's going to create an insane amount of clarity for you.
And seriously it's going to be a huge relief.
Next up is not pursuing her.
Which leads us to the next thing nice guys do wrong which is telling her you have feelings
for her before you've been dating for a while.
Bad mistake.
Don't do it.
The next thing nice guys do wrong is not putting in the right effort to how you look.
You want to make sure you look confident and masculine and attractive.
The next thing is being needy.
That is an instant attraction killer.
Like instant.
The next thing is not showing her that you have drive and ambition and interests.
And then we have a negative attitude.
When you have a negative attitude it kills the attraction so fast.
Like it kills the attraction so fast.
But if instead you have that positive, happy, confident attitude, that right there, that's
attractive.
Thank you so much for watching, my wonderful friend!
If you learned something new be sure to give me a big thumbs up and subscribe and ring
that notification bell if you have not yet.
I want to hear from you in the comments.
Did you enjoy this video?
If you did please comment "nice guy!" to let me know you would like more videos like this
in the future.
Do you have a friend who's struggling being the nice guy that no one wants to date"?
If you do this would help him so much, right?
Please please please share it with him.
If we're not yet friends on social media we totally need to be.
I share exclusive content in my Instagram stories so if you'd like kind of that behind
the scenes look make sure you at least follow me on Instagram.
There are links in the description below to all of those.
Thank you so much again for watching my amazing friend and have an amazing day! [blooper beep]
Let me fluff my hair.
[making sounds while fluffing hair] Looks better if you fluff it.
[laughter] Plus you get to say bloop.
That's really fun.
Okay, here we go.
Oh, there's something in my eye.
Medic! [laughter] I keep leaning in when I talk because I get so into it.
Okay, back it up.
Oh!
[making more bloop sounds] Let's face it, I just wanted to say bloop.
[laughter] Okay, moving on.
[laughter] Where are my blooper watchers?
If you watch the bloopers you guys are rock stars.
You're awesome.
Comment "blooper!" if you're one of the blooper watchers because you're really cool.
[laughter] Okay.
We're like a secret group.
Most people don't know the bloopers exist.
So, you know, thanks for being cool.
Okay, anyway.
I don't know what that was.
[making bloop sounds to the tune of Mario] [laughter] Just kidding.
Oh I am dingy today.
I totally lost my train of thought.
[laughter] This is awkward.
It's a good thing this isn't live.
Okay, let's...
What is that word?
[pause] Recap!
Okay.