[MUSIC PLAYING]
All right.
Seems like a good spot.
Hi, I'm Kristen Bell.
Motherhood can feel isolating.
So finding a Mom friend is everything.
It's like finding the peanut butter to your jelly.
It's like being lost at sea and spotting a lighthouse.
Here is one of my lighthouses, ladies and gentlemen.
Melissa McCarthy!
Hi, what are the odds that you're here?
You were just strolling down the street.
I had some business, and I thought that looks like K-Bell.
In one of my makeshift living rooms.
She loves to set up a last minute living room.
It's an adorable quirk.
[MUSIC]
To all you moms out there you be doing it right.
You're a mom of two.
I am a mom of two.
And I know that because I know your children.
Yes, you do.
Do you remember where you conceived your children?
First one--
Let's say it at the same time.
OK.
One, two, three.
A friend's house.
Up the lazy river of Six Flags, Gurnee, Illinois.
Whoa!
The lazy river?
I wanted my kids to be strong swimmers.
So I thought this is the moment.
One of the things that I find most
difficult about being a parent is the sleep deprivation.
Yes!
Because I have some statistics here.
Did you know lack of sleep affects the body the same way
drinking alcohol does?
17 hours without sleep--
I get louder.
I think my jokes land more and they don't.
You're at basically the equivalent of a 0.05 alcohol
content.
So our normal level of tired means we shouldn't be driving?
Correct.
Probably shouldn't be using the Vitamix.
So you're saying out in the car?
No.
[LAUGHS]
God, no.
I love to Vitamix in my car.
You got to get sleep.
It affects three cognitive functions.
Oh.
Reaction times.
[DING]
What?
Great.
I would have knocked you out cold.
Our ability to multitask.
[MUSIC - MONTELL JORDAN, "THIS IS HOW WE DO IT"]
This is how we do it.
I seem to be breastfeeding at the same time.
--you don't know.
You can do anything while you breastfeed.
Talk about multitasking, I don't know
if I buy your story about I can't multitask.
Well this was--
[LAUGHS]
[THUD]
Short term memory.
What?
Yep.
Can even impair the ability to build new memories.
That's just sad.
I don't ever want to hear that again.
But I won't remember it anyway.
So let's just--
Thank you.
It's gone.
Have you ever pretended to sleep so that Ben would
have to get up with the kids?
No.
You're just saying no, but your face did like a--
I've done it a lot.
[KRISTEN SIGHS]
When they were really little, I think
it was always a thing of like it was
a sleep off where you're like, I'm more sleep than you are.
Yeah.
Then you just really go frozen.
You're like--
[CRICKETS AND SNORING]
Yeah.
And you'd be listening for the other one's breath.
And you're like, that's not a sleeping breath pattern.
We've gotten to the point where now it's
almost like a scoreboard.
And he'll just punch me and tell me to get out of bed.
Or I'll just punch him and tell him--
So it's whoever punches first wins.
Yeah, pretty much.
Yeah.
Oh, I can try that.
Having two daughters especially that
are as self-assured as your daughters,
what's the worst thing they've ever said to you?
I recently got rid of all of the slime in the house.
They make their own slime.
Oh.
And we got rid of it all.
And then Vivi, who is the oldest one as you know, was like--
Right before she was like--
I tucked her in, she was going to bed, and said,
is everything OK?
She goes I just thought--
I just thought that was really harsh today.
I thought it was too harsh.
And then Georgie, like something out of a horror movie,
was just beside me, and she's like--
[LAUGHS]
And then I realized their last thought for the night
was that I was then going to get on my broom
and fly down the hallway.
Oh, they'll fix it in therapy.
[LAUGHS]
My youngest daughter is also very self-assured and feral.
And she will often come up to me with just a clenched fist,
which is holding what I can only assume an invisible knife,
and just say--
It seems like the right hand grip.
I don't like you.
And then just walk away.
Does she have a big neck tattoo?
I mean, one day she'll kill me in my sleep,
but we're not there yet.
So I'm not worrying about it.
Oh my gosh, that's a good 10 years away.
What's the proudest moment you've ever had as a Mom?
I think just seeing that they really are--
they're confident about themselves.
And they seem really solid in their shoes.
Yeah.
There's not a need to be like, I must be with the group.
They're not lemmings.
No.
And Georgie's particularly self-assured.
Because I remember you told me a story about you
were at a restaurant once, and she was preoccupied
with the concept of death.
Vivian, my old oldest one, things
like that she doesn't want to talk about.
And Georgie's like, we're all going to die.
We're all going to die.
And so we were in there, and she's
like, you're going to die.
Vivi's like, no!
No, don't talk about it!
You're going to die.
And then she pointed at the poor waitress and goes,
she's definitely going to die.
[LAUGHS]
We have a grandparent that is passing away right now,
and my 5-year-old said to me, when Papa dies,
do I need to bring my gardening tools.
Because I have a shovel.
And she said, where do we do it?
Like on the side of the house?
She literally was like, so I guess we do it?
Ready to dig her grandfather's grave.
And the fact that she wasn't upset and just like,
OK, this happens.
It means that you must have talked to her.
We talk a lot about death, but she apparently just
goes right to well let's get through it.
Together.
Or she just loves to bury stuff.
Melissa, I'm grateful for you.
Oh!
I'm grateful for our friendship.
Are we breaking up?
But I'm really thankful that you came
to do some momsplaining with us today.
Thank you.
You're living here now, right?
Yeah.
[MUSIC PLAYING]