Welcome back everybody to another Ethan and Hila classic
Today we've got another juicy hot one ready for you about a couple of performers
who couldn't find any people to perform for, so they said you know who will watch us
no matter what? Pets. That's right. These are pet performance. High art thespians
I would.. some would even go as far to call them. And with that being said...
I'm ready to jump right in, Hila. Are you?
Woof.
Woof? What are you a pet performer now? What'd you say? What does that mean in English?
It said, "Let's go."
Were you planning that or was that a spontaneous?
No, it was as spontaneous as it gets.
Wow Hila, I'm impressed.
Today we are meeting Krõõt and Alex.
Krõõt!
Of course his name is Krõõt.
And he's got a bowl cut!
Look at that bowl cut, dude.
I love the commitment to that bowl cut, and he like...
Not only did he go bowl, he like cut it down all the way. That's full bowl.
You know what they say - never go full bowl cut.
Two artists who love animals and have specialized in performing for pets.
Most animals really enjoy...
Is that a stroke or a performance?
Yeah.
We have a seizure disorder and pets sometimes like to watch.
Most animals really enjoy their performances, and sometimes so do their owners.
I do think shredder would love this performance
I don't think he would I think he would do like what this dog is doing now and stare on from another room
As a couple of maniacs seizure around on the floor. That pet is not into this
Can you describe what happens in your performances?
First, the owner of the pet will contact us and invite us.
- Oh, the clothing is insane. - I told you, high fashion.
Ooh, hoo, hoo, hoo! Look at them!
Some leopard skin prints.
You know what I.. my feeling about these two is that their pubes stink.
Do you know what I mean? I feel like they have stinky pubes
I can see why you think that.
Yeah? Do you think his dick has a bowl cut?
His balls have a bowl cut?
The owner of the pet will contact us and invite us to their home
We will spend about 15-20 minutes getting a sense of...
the kind of personality.............
that it has, the history...... of how it came into the owner's life, questions that relate to feelings.
I love how there's like a big debut, like they crawl. Okay, they're like, okay, we're gonna go in the bathroom and get ready... creak... okay here they come
It's beautiful. They're crawling on all fours, who would have thought of this? Who could have ever imagined?
We were looking at pets already six years and one of the things that we're interested in is how much spare time they have.
I think you are the one with too much spare time. Frankly speaking
Having free time is really one of the important things you need in order to consume culture
And then we also noticed how human audiences have almost no time.
So why not expand our work to this new audience.
This guy's like, get a load of these guys
Posting this video to Facebook, get a load of this dude Groot and his bowl cut seizuring around with my dog.
Human audiences have almost no time. So why not expand our work to this new audience.
This do-- this dog is not entertained!
Look at how hard they're trying and this dog's just like what the hell is this?
That's true.
This dog is not even close to entertained
*crickets chirping*
Alex and Krõõt have been doing their pet performance for over a year.
There's no fixed price...
Oh, they answered our question!
But they asked people to pay what they want.
That's nice.
What do you pay 'em?
Ten dollars.
Really?
Hmmm.
For two hours of work?
*hila contemplates*
It's two hours?
Well they s-- I think he said he spends 30 minutes to get to know the pet
See what kind of guy he is. Give him a sniff, he sniffs his butthole *sniff* *sniff*
He's like, let me see what kinda dog this is. *sniff* *sniff*
Gross.
Seems like a decent guy.
Do cats react differently from dogs?
Performance for the dog and performance with cats are different shows.
That looks like an expensive bowl cut by the way.
Yeah, it's really straight.
Like that is a nice bowl cut
It's so symmetrical.
And I guarantee you that guy has beard oils, too
I'm telling you, that's high-fashion.
I noticed it's got more down votes than up votes, like... It's not that serious.
Why would you down vote this?
I know, and I have to say, I know we're goofing on these guys
But I have to tell you, they're out there getting weird and wild
Doing bowl cuts, like nobody thought you could pull off
I can see people bein' like "There are kids starving and you are spending your time entertaining pets?!
Those pets have a more privileged life than all of the kids in Uganda and how dare you!
Down vote!"
That's another highly entertained animal right there
Performance for a dog is much shorter than that for a cat
Another highly entertained animal right there
Cat, the performance can last for 30 minutes and their attention span can be stretched much much longer. It's not so intense
We're at the tapis foundation where Krõõt and Alex are about to do a workshop on animal behavior
And they've invited me to participate.
Do I close my eyes?
Yes.
Cat, I would say...
a rabbit...
a whale...
So this is a workshop? This is part of their training?
These are all like wannabe performers
But they just...
They'll get there one day.
Right, right... you have to earn your credentials by laying on the floor and having eight people massage you like you're like the beginning of some por--
I mean, it's frank-- that's frankly the beginning of a pornography I've seen several times
And I'm all the sudden very interested in becoming a pet performer myself
a rabbit....
... a whale...
Being part of the workshop was very interesting and to think about how...
Pets move and feel and to embody this, now I feel very inspired to perform for pets.
We may not receive the applause
Because we're doing it for an audience of.. who can't clap or can't thank us in a way that we understand
But what makes it rewarding is the fact that we do see this immediate response. This immediate feedback.
I love that they're like, this.. this.. they cannot appreciate us, they cannot clap....
They cannot respond.
But they do seem to notice that we're there
Which is a lot more than I can say for human beings that we've tried to perform for
I mean the crux of this is that they're like listen, nobody.. we can't get anybo-- any person to watch us perform.
So pets, but I will say to their credit, you know, they're sweet kids.
Yeah.
They are not harming anyone.
It's intriguing. It's fresh!
It's very fresh.
- Y'know? - I like it.
It's a fresh, hot, thing, dude. It's a.. it's a pot
And I actually got somewhat chubbed up watching them in that workshop.
And I thought that was fascinating
Particularly the workshop
Another video came to our attention that needs to be brought up. Have you guys heard of bark mitzvahs?
That's right, these are people who celebrate the coming of age of their pets with a bar mitzvah
which as you know in the Jewish religion is when you celebrate a man (or a female) coming into adulthood
And so we celebrate, with our pets.
And I...
Hope you all enjoy this one as well.
Niki, this is a very joyous occasion for you.
And rabbi Otis who's a hundred years old, two centuries!
All right, he's gonna help me oversee this with you
*people talking off-screen*
Oh Niki, you look so nice, Niki!
Take that, and put it around, under...
Under under under...
Got it, got it.
Nicky you look smashing
Look at that dapper little guy. I mean that is fantastic
They're like listen, it might be a Bark Mitzvah, but there's a dress code
What I am curious about is how serious is this?
Yeah, me too.
I get the feeling that it is actually more serious than you would think
Cause I feel like a lot of people can do it jokingly, for the fun of it.
Yes.
But this lady is like, she's got a rabbi....
I think this is serious. I think this is.. this is a serious thing here. So don't laugh
All you at home, don't laugh because this is serious.
Perform bark mitzvahs because there's blessing for the animals
And.... I really believe that the animals have a right to have a party and a religion and people have it
And uh, it's a blessing for the animal and it gives them attention and that to me is very very important
I love the idea of a dog Jewish by the way, just like oh, yeah, he's a Jewish dog
He's a Bar Mitzvah, a bark Mitzvah.
By the way. Can I just express the freshness of this meme?
This video has zero likes
1500 views, that's basically like no one saw it.
This is as fresh as it gets here folks, you come here for the freshest memes possible.
We're bark Mitzvahing today. Okay?
I don't want to hear anything about not being fresh
*hebrew prayer*
To our son.
He's gonna be a lawyer just like his father!
That guy's so proud to be a lawyer.
I've never saw one else.... Did I mention I'm a lawyer?
Um, everybody, he's gonna be a lawyer like his dad!
I'm a lawyer!
This is some serious stuff.
You know how Torahs are made? They're made from like special parchment and hand written. They cost like 10 20 thousand dollars
I've never seen that just laying on a table next to bread.
What...
Th-- what is the dog have a Torah portion?
You get to chew on this.
Oh yeah, destr-- chew on.. an edible Torah.
When I first heard about it
I have to admit I was
Taken aback. Uh, was a little.. silly I thought at first
but then as I thought about it more there's kind of an insulting element to it
This is a sacred ritual, a tradition that goes back centuries
Um, and...
This is something that uh...
Young Jewish, uh, adults, uh, prepare for for years, and it's really a part of a sacred tradition
Um, to imagine that a dog could do anything like this is...
Degrading.
All right, take it easy, dude, it's just a bark Mitzvah.
He's like, you know, at first it was silly, but when I thought about it, I realized, hey I can be angry about this!
Now I want a bark mitzvah for Shredder on purpose.
Just because eff that guy.
Yeah.
Okay shreddy. Today's your special day
You become a real big...
boy now.
This is your big day, Shreddy!
Wow, your bar mit-- bark mitzva, shredder. What a mitzvah!
HeEeEy!
How does it feel to be a man, shredder?
How does it feel to be a man?
He looks so sad...
I've never seen anyone so depressed to be Jewish before, this is what it looks like.
He's like, I don't want to be a Jew!
I don't want to be a Jew, dad!
*hebrew prayer*
Okay, now for your torah portion... the bible for dummies.
Pretty much just as good as the same
And Isaac said to Abraham, raise your knife and plunge it in. Wait. What?
Abraham, do not lay your hands on the boy.
I know you fear God, but do not kill your only son.
Whoa, this shit's messed up, shredder. Fuck... Forget about this!
I like to think that if the Nazis came for me...
They would gas my dog as well.
I wonder, did the Nazis gas Jewish dogs?
Agh, I.. I know.. I know it's sensitive, a lot of peo-- but it's.. I think it's a valid question, this dogs a Bar Mitzvah
Does he go down with the family or the Nazis? You know what I'm saying?
Probably does.
Ride or die.
Unfortunately.
Unfortunately, this is.. you know, you ride or you die literally in this case
Thank you guys so much for watching. Here's what's going on with us
There's only one day left on our ugly Christmas sweaters vaping Santa, face tat Santa, and mother Hila
at represent.com/h3h3
Also supplies are dropping fast over at teddyfresh.com with our new color blocks and additional items
and most importantly, the great Bill Wurtz will be joining us tomorrow, November 30th at 3 p.m PST on the H3 Podcast
Creator of history of Japan and history of the world I guess and so many more
Links are all in the description. I hope to see you guys tomorrow during our podcast and now for your goof of the day
*damn he thicc*