JOYCE: "A TIME TO KEEP AND A TIME TO THROW AWAY."
[AUDIENCE APPLAUDING]
JOYCE: THIS IS A WORD IN DUE SEASON.
SOMEBODY NEEDS TO GO HOME AND HAVE A THROWING AWAY PARTY.
[AUDIENCE LAUGHING]
JOYCE: COME ON, HOW MANY OF YOU ARE JUNK COLLECTORS,
YOU JUST KEEP EVERYTHING YOU CAN GET YOUR HANDS ON?
WELL, I'LL THROW AWAY ANYTHING I CAN GET MY--
I DON'T THROW IT AWAY.
I GIVE IT TO SOMEBODY.
SEND IT TO SOME NEEDY PLACE.
MY HUSBAND, ON THE OTHER HAND, HE LIKES TO COLLECT STUFF.
DAVE'S GOT ALL THESE TIES YOU KNOW WHEN MEN USED TO
WEAR SUITS ALL THE TIME. HE'S GOT THESE REAL FANCY, LOUD TIES AND
I'VE BEEN SAYING "DAVE, WHY ARE YOU KEEPING THOSE TIES? YOU DON'T EVEN
WEAR TIES ANYMORE." WELL THEY MAY COME BACK SOMETIME
I SAID EVEN IF THEY DO YOUR NOT GOING TO WANT THOSE TIES
YOUR GOING TO WANT NEW TIES AND THOSE TIES WON'T BE IN SEASON.
WELL I PAID GOOD MONEY FOR THOSE TIES. I WANT SOMEBODY TO GET THEM
THAT'S GOING TO WEAR THEM. WELL I SAID HOW IS ANYONE GOING TO WEAR THEM
IF YOU WON'T GIVE THEM AWAY? IF YOU WON'T LET GO OF THEM?
SOME PEOPLE ARE MORE INCLINED. LISTEN IF YOU NEED A BAG, A PLASTIC BAG,
A PAPER BAG, A LITTLE BAG, A BIG BAG, A BAG WITH HANDLES, A SQUARE BAG,
DAVE HAS GOT THE BAG. I WILL TELL YOU THAT WHATEVER SIZE, SHAPE, COLOR BAG
YOU MIGHT NEED, YOU CAN JUST ASK DAVE AND DAVE WILL HAVE A BAG.
I BETTER JUST SHUT UP OR HE'S GOING TO COME UP HERE. NO! NO! NO! NO!
HEY I CAN'T HARDLY GET IN HER CLOSET FOR THE SHOES THAT ARE IN THERE.
AND GUESS WHO COMES TO ME WHEN SHE NEEDS A BAG?
HONEY, DO YOU HAVE A BAG? I NEED A BAG. GUESS WHAT I'M GONG TO DO IN THE FUTURE?
GET YOUR OWN BAG.
AUDIENCE [LAUGHING AND CHEERING]
AND JUST TO SAY IT'S BEEN SAID. HE HAS MORE CLOTHES THAN I DO.
DAVE SHOPS. GO BACK TO YOUR SEAT DAVE. YOU JUST THINK YOUR SO FUNNY DON'T YOU?
HOW MANY OF YOU ARE MARRIED TO SOMEBODY WHO LIKES TO KEEP EVERYTHING THEY CAN GET
THEIR HANDS ON? OH HOO AND I BET YOUR THE KIND THAT WANT TO GET RID OF IT, RIGHT?
NOW, I WILL ADMIT SOMETIMES I GET RID OF THINGS THAT... OH THERE YOU ARE AGAIN YOU
YOU HAVE BEEN PICKING ON HER ALL DAY. SHE'S GOT ALL MY BOOKS AND HE WANTS HER
SHE SHOULDN'T GET RID OF MY BOOKS. SHE NEEDS TO KEEP MY BOOKS.
I DON'T WANT TO GO TO GOODWILL AND SEE MY BOOKS. THANK YOU.
NOW YOU GUYS ARE MAKING ME FORGET WHAT I WAS GOING TO SAY.
BUT THERE IS A TIME I WILL ADMIT SOMETIMES I THROW THINGS AWAY TOO FAST
AND I GOT TO GO BUY ANOTHER ONE NEXT WEEK CAUSE I JUST GOT RID OF IT LAST WEEK.
BUT YOU KNOW HOW IT IS, YOU CAN KEEP SOMETHING FOR FIVE YEARS AND NEVER
NEED IT AND YOU THROW IT AWAY OR GET RID OF IT AND THE NEXT WEEK YOU NEED IT.
I DON'T KNOW HOW WE GOT OFF ON THAT? OH YEAH, THERE'S A TIME TO KEEP
AND A TIME TO THROW AWAY.