(mouse clicking)
- [Noe] Look into my eyes.
Describe what you see.
- What I see is
an incredibly kind, loving person.
- I see, someone in they searching for a little bit more,
but don't know quite what yet.
- I see, home, I guess.
I've said that to you before,
but I think that's the best answer, I see home.
- The love of my life.
Somebody who is mustering strength
that maybe they don't really have at the moment.
And I see,
(exhales loudly)
I think a lot of love coming back at me,
- I think because of like the year
that we have been having and that you have been having,
I see tiredness, like weariness.
I also see, baby Dera your inner child like playfulness.
And I see love.
- I don't know you just so pretty.
I see pretty blue, this reminds me of when I wrote,
a poem about your eyes before we started dating
and I described them, gosh, I don't remember.
It was like the ocean or something.
- Yeah. - Yeah.
- The deep blue sea.
- Oh, my gosh.
- What is something I still don't understand about you?
And why do you think that I don't understand?
- To be African American in a small county,
to be one of only two black kids in a small school.
I think, you have a lot more of an understanding now,
but there's still so much more insight that obviously
I can teach you and I can tell you about
what it was like to even just be biracial.
What it was like to be raised by two white parents.
What it's like to always have answer the question,
"Were you adopted?"
You know what I mean?
Always have to defend yourself to
why you are a different color.
To always have (mumbles)
When, it became black history month,
and you got 22, 24, 45 students turning around in their sits
When you're talking about Martin Luther King
or Harriet Tubman they're looking at you.
Or when you're talking about slavery,
looking at you, turning around
and you're just embarrassed, you're like,
I didn't get to choose this this stuff was chosen for me.
- I think, what was the stepping stone of our friendship was
when you held my hand during my miscarriage,
'cause not even my own mom did that.
And I was like, she's here with me
and my frickin mother who gave birth to me,
she was like, "Okay, dropped you off at ER.
"Bye, I got to go." (laughs)
When I texted you like, "I'm at the ER,
"sitting in my own blood by myself."
And you're like, "All right, be there in a minute." (laughs)
And you were there.
And I was just like, dang!
Like I know she'll be there for me.
- We just spoke about this like a few days ago.
And it's not so much a hesitance as much as like,
I don't want to take up space in like a violent way.
The best, especially in like the past few weeks
where there has been so much collective trauma
amongst black people over anti-black violence.
And obviously the really extremely
of literally taking people's lives,
but also in the other ways that are more subtle
and that go unnoticed.
- I'm really starting, I'm not starting,
but I'm genuinely continuing to educate myself.
To be aware of my privilege,
and to use my white privileged voice to protect others
and my peers and the people around me.
And just like, because we are advocates for like LGBT rights
and equality and stuff.
The trans community and the black trans community.
And then just like the black community is so oppressed,
you know?
And it's just nice because, I know that I have a very
unpopular opinion with our area, you know?
So like going to the protest when we did recently felt very,
uniting to be with people of all shades of colors
and being like, we all think the same about what's going on
about this problem and to feel safe like that is amazing.
- So I'm very optimistic.
I'm always optimistic that your generation,
it is going to do much better
than my generation on this issue.
I believe that.
My instinct tells me that you're gonna, you personally,
are gonna play leadership role,
as we get older in this issue.
You are a mixed race child
so that gives you certain perspectives.
You are very well traveled.
You have different sides to your background
to give you the opportunity to really--
- Putting a lot of pressure on me now, dad.
(both laughing)
- I think I just want to be able to give you like
encouragement or just provide some type of healing
for you to feel like the things that you are desiring
are already inside of you
and you don't need affirmation from other people.
- That's so good.
See, this is why I love you,
because you know how to speak to my soul
in an affirming way that just lifts me up.
- Janie here from the skin deep.
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