• From crocodile sized cannibalistic millipedes to the most inefficient way of growing teeth
we look at 15 strangest prehistoric creatures that actually existed.
15 – The Dunkleosteus, • Give a fish and armour plated jaw that’s
about as inviting as a bear trap and you have this wonder of evolutionary history.
• The Dunkleosteus could grow up to 10 metres long and weigh 3 and a half tonnes which for
comparison is more than double the size of a Great White Shark.
But its most fearsome feature was its armour plated head and jaw giving it most likely
the strongest bite in history.
• Though this didn’t stop the Dunkleosteus being wiped out along with its whole group
of armoured fish.
I’d hate to meet whatever was able to wipe out the bear trap with fins monster.
14 – The Jaekelopterus, • This giant armoured millipede like creature
is not only strange looking but also one of the most deadly creatures of its time.
• Categorised as a Sea Scorpion, it would grow over two metres long and dominate coastal
swamps by devouring everything in its path including other Jaekelopterus.
Yes this thing was a horrible cannibal.
Just a reminder that 2 metres long is about the size of an adult Crocodile.
• Technically it was also one of the largest insects to ever live as well so there’s
something new for your nightmares tonight guys.
13 – The Epidendrosaurus, • Imagine your pinkie finger being twice
the length of your middle finger and you have the sole reason that this bird like dinosaur
made the list.
• Essentially it all looks pretty standard for the Epidendrosaurus until you get to that
pesky third finger that looks like nature made a terrible terrible mistake.
But no there is a valid reason for this with the poor thing using the extra-long fingers
to dig for insects.
• Still if humans had these we’d probably only use them for digging out snot when waiting
at a red light….Oh c’mon you all do it.
12 – The Longisquama, • Take one small gecko like reptile, slam
7 feathers in its back and you essentially have this prehistoric creature.
• Living in the Triassic period, the reptile had the unfortunate luck to be a small guy
in a big guy’s world meaning it was prone to being eaten and that may have had something
to do with the giant feather like appendages on its back consistently acting like a MacDonald’s
sign to larger predators.
• Though researchers aren’t 100% sure these were feathers it looks more likely especially
seeing how many creatures seem to have random feathers everywhere the further we get down
this list.
11 – The Pterodaustro, • Plankton better watch out because there
is a new giant pink bird on the scene to make you say what the holy fuck is that thing.
• This Pelican-Flamingo beast would wade in swallow waters using a process of filter
feeding to find its next meal of delicious prehistoric plankton.
All while looking great in its pink paint job.
• The peak is probably its oddest part though, with its odd teeth like features it always
looks like it’s giving you a lovely wide smile, because a smiling flamingo is not absolutely
terrifying at all.
Thanks evolution.
10 – The Archaeopteryx, • What happens when you slam a dinosaur
head onto a bald eagle body?
Well the answer is one strange ass looking bird that’s what.
• Supposedly the first bird to ever exist, the Archaeopteryx fossils shows the transitionary
traits from dinosaurs to avian creatures.
But it’s debateable about how much flight capability the bird with a dino head had.
• Still there’s something oddly cute about this thing, like a tiny flying raptor from
Jurassic World that you can train to sit on your shoulder like a parrot.
9 – The Therizinosauridae, • Also known as reaper lizards this is one
of nature’s oddities that had Scientists stumped when it turned up in the fossil record.
• Originally believed to be the remains of several different creatures, the reaper
lizard had a beak, four toed feet, a long neck and a beer belly that would make your
uncle jealous.
• They also had extremely large claws for their front arms which look comically disproportioned
in many recreations.
Unfortunately the claws weren’t used for killing T-rex’s but for eating plants.
Boring. 8 – The Sharovipteryx,
• Another small lizard like reptile from the pesky old Triassic era where small lizards
were walking happy meals for larger carnivores.
• But this little guy had the ability to glide which gives him an edge over the other
lizards.
Having giant skin flabs between its back legs and small flaps on the front two would give
the small reptile the gift of soaring out of the way of larger predators.
• But this gift comes at the cost of looking downright silly as your fly away on your giant
skin flapped back legs but then again better to look stupid than to be someone else’s
lunch.
7 – The Microraptor, • While the name would suggest a very small
tiny raptor what it actually means is small flying raptor that will kill you.
• Another “Dinosaur with insert other animal part here” the Microraptor had four
wings, that we still can’t work out how it used.
Some say it would climb trees then jump off branches using the wings as parachutes while
the alternative is it using all 4 wings to take off….somehow.
• Either way anything with raptor in its name isn’t something I’d want to have
the ability to fly through the air.
6 – The Hallucigenia, • Man worms were some kind of nightmare
creature millions of years ago with this tentacle penis headed thing.
• The Hallucigenia was only 3 mm’s long so that’s a massive relief.
The little worm like creature would walk around spiny stilt like legs while using soft tentacles
on its back to feed its self.
At least that was the first thought, turned out the thing was upside down.
• Then researchers made another discovery that the penis head was actually a stain in
the fossil and tail was the actual head.
So good news Hallucigenia, you are not a literal dickhead.
5 – The Helicoprion, • This is what happens when you take Jaws
um Jaw and wrap it up into a spiral and place it somewhere near the shark’s mouth.
• When researchers found this fossil they only had a strange coil of teeth that they
originally though was some kind of shell fish.
But nope another was found attached to a jaw bone leading to more what the fuck?
This shark would grow teeth over its lifetime that would push younger teeth further down
the coil.
• Why?
How?
Well we don’t quite know, we don’t even know where the coil went because it would
slow the shark down if it was on the outside.
Either way a coil of teeth hanging from your jaw is a goddam strange thing.
4 – The Quetzalcoatlus, • What the hell even is this god damn thing?
It’s something out of my worst nightmares but also is absolutely hilarious to look at.
• Imagine a giraffe with feathers and wings for legs and bam you have this prehistoric
beast that roamed the skies of the past, striking fear and laughter with its comically sized
neck • Though honestly this thing looks like
it could barely run let alone take flight to the skies, “oh shit not the flyting giraffe!”
must have been what the animals it feasted on were thinking right before they got swallowed
up.
3 – The Stethacanthus, • Sharks have always been the most ferocious
looking sea predators but this slight variation from the past makes them look very very comical.
• Essentially carrying an anvil on its back… oh wait that’s its fin.
That makes more sense now.
Well anyway the sea creature was only about 70 cm’s long and had spine-brush growths
both on its head and anvil fin thing.
• It’s believed that the brush growths were to scare of larger predators by appearing
as if the little guy had a larger mouth.
No clue how that’s supposed to work but I’m no fancy palaeobiologist.
2 – The Epidexipteryx, • All these damn complicated names, they
should just call these things what they are…in this case it would be hell Pidgeon.
• One of the early flightless feathered dinosaurs, this 10 inch high monster had the
arms of a dinosaur combined with four long tail feathers most likely used in the same
way a peacock would but in a much more disturbing dinosaur way.
• Imagine little pigeon sized dinosaurs running around with arms that can climb up
your body then claw your eyes out while it shows off its feathers.
I mean they probably wouldn’t do that but how much can you trust a bird with those arms?
1 – The Opabinia, • Want to see what life would grow on Earth
if it was an alien planet in Doctor Who?
Well you’re in luck.
• The Opabinia has to be one of the oddest things to ever exist on this planet with its
elephant like trunk with added crab claw.
It’s thought that it used the trunk to search through the sea floor for soft bits of food
to then eat.
• While the Opabinia might be one of the more boring sea dwellers, nothing it does
can take away the fact that it has a god damn claw on the end of a trunk, it looks like
some 8 year old made this thing in Photoshop.