South Park premiere on August 13th, 1997.
That was about 25 years ago.
The show seems to get more and more ridiculous each season, but many of us look back fondly
on the early episodes.
Right away, in season one, the show established itself as particularly gruesome.
Which set the tone for the series and even pissed off a lot of people.
Today, we’re going to start off our series kill count with where it all began.
Season One.
How big is the body count?
Let’s find out.
I’m Caleb with WickedBinge.
And this is the South Park Season 1 Kill Count.
Real quick, before we begin…
a couple rules.
First off, we are going to include animals, monsters and all sorts of supernatural beings.
And secondly, we will be counting Kenny’s death multiple times… because obviously…
it happens a lot and each one is pretty creative.
The original episode of South Park, Cartman Gets an Anal probe, is still probbaly one
of the most iconic episodes in the series.
Can you believe it’s been 25 years since it first aired?
Episodes in season 1, as ridiculous as they were, still didn’t hold a candle to how
over-the-top the show would get in later seasons.
And the body counts were oftentimes pretty low.
This episode involved Cartman being abducted by aliens… and the boys soon find out they
have to rescue Kyle’s brother Ike from the aliens as well…
A cattle ranch cow’s corpse is found after being mutilated.
And although this isn’t unusual behavior…
After all, cows turn themselves inside out all the time…
We are counting it as the first kill.
The only other kill in this episode is another first…
Kenny’s first death.
When he throws a rock at the alien’s ship, which responds by shooting him with a laser.
Sorry, Kenny.
This won’t be the only time you’re killed.
In episode 2, Weight Gain 3000, tries to get in shape with a new supplement while the town
prepares for Kathy Lee Gifford to visit.
But he ultimately makes himself even more obese.
The only kill in this episode is when Mr. Garrison’s assination attempt goes wrong
and he accidentally shoots Kenny… who is flung onto and impaled on the flag pole.
One of the most memorable episodes in season one is the Hunting episode, Volcano.
Where the boys go hunting with Stan’s uncle Jimbo and his friend Ned.
During their trip, Jimbo shoots an endangered Rocky Mountain Black Bear… followed by a
deer with a bazooka.
They also kill 5 fish with hand grenades, which may be the most efficient way to go
fishing.
Then when they cut the trip short and bomb the lake… there are 76 more fish that we
can see that get killed.
They also kill a ram… and even a Bald Eagle….
How can you kill a bald eagle?!
That’s UnAmerican!
It looks like Kenny is killed by a piece of molten rock that shoots out of the Volcano…
but this is one of the many early series fakes out… as he actually survives this ordeal.
The South Park citizens are given arguably the worst disaster survival instructions ever
given…
when they’re told to Duck and Cover to avoid lava… and we see 3 Hikers attempt it only
to be engulfed in lava and killed.
The mythical Scuzzlebutt that Cartman tells ghost stories about turns out to be a good
and noble creature… and he helps save the Town from the volcanic lava…
But in classic South Park fashion, Stan blows it’s head off with a shotgun.
And remember when we said Kenny survived that ball of molten lava?
Well, we did..
Only to be killed by a stray bullet when Ned drops his rifle…
And he’s promptly eaten by rats.
These last two deaths… of Kenny and Scuzzlebutt…
really set the tone for early South Park as a whole.
In episode 4, Big Gay Al’s Big Gay Boat Ride…
Kenny is playing football… and he’s killed by two players grabbing his arm and another
tackling him…
Pretty brutal.
Enrique, the middle school mascot, is rigged up with a bomb that goes off when John Stamos’
brother hits a high F when singing… blowing it up.
In episode 5, Stan’s Clone escapes the pod and kills the four-ass frog.
And Stan’s Clone is killed when our favorite mad scientist shoots it in the head due to
the fact that its a disgrace to the genetic community.
Finally in this episode, Kenny is flung into a microwave ovens and is cooked to death.
Which is pretty morbid.
In episode 6, “Death”, there’s actually only one single death in the entire episode…
After a very long chase, the grim reaper or “death” finally corners Kenny and death-touches
him.
Episode 7, “Pink Eye” is where things really pick up in terms of Kills.
This was actually the first Halloween episode, and possibly one of the best Halloween specials
in adult cartoon history.
The South Park creators use the Halloween holiday as an excuse to make the episode especially
bloody.
Now, just to keep it simple, we’ll count any person who is turned into a zombie as
a death… but if they’re killed in zombie form too, than we’re only counting them
once.
The episode starts with two cosmonauts being killed when their space shuttle malfunctions
and crashes down into earth.
Unfortunately for Kenny, it falls directly on him, killing him.
After a bottle of Worcestershire sauce gets mixed into embalming fluid….
Kenny comes back as a zombie and immediately bites two Morticians… who turn into zombies
too.
The 2 morticians attack another guy…
And then Clyde Donovan is bitten by Kenny in the cafeteria.
A group of zombies attack 2 joggers.
And then Bebe Stevens is attacked and zombified when bobbing for apples.
2 more guys are attacked by zombies… and then Chef accidentally kills a guy who was
just in the doctor’s office for a routine check-up to demonstrate the zombie issue to
the doctor.
Then the doctor himself is killed by a group of the pink eye zombies.
Kenny bites an old lady during trick or treating… and then the big guy in the ”Let’s Get
Physical” shirt.
We also see a zombie splitting a person into two in the background.
And Jimbo also shoots a zombie from on top of a roof.
Chef, although he’s returned to normal later, is also turned into a zombie.
Specifically a Michael Jackson Thriller zombie.
We see Cartman cut apart one zombie with a chainsaw… then Stan cuts apart two more.
Throughout Stan and Cartman’s zombie killing montage, we count 38 more zombie kills and
corpses.
Making this the goriest episode yet.
Finally, Kyle ends the zombie pandemic by killing Kenny with a chainsaw… but since
we already counted Kenny’s original death, we won’t count him again.
In episode 8, titled “Damien”... Jesus and Satan face up in a big boxing match.
And we’re introduced to Satan’s son: Damien.
In an attempt to impress Cartman and the other kids at Cartman’s birthday party, he turns
Pip into a fireworks show.
Blowing him up.
And although it seems like Pip legitimately got killed, it’s revealed that he actually
survives.
Damien also turns Kenny into a Duck Platapus… which eventually triggers Jimbo to shoot him.
Another episode in season 1 that has a high body count, surprisingly, is the Thanksgiving
special “Starving Marvin”.
Early in the episode, a couple is attacked by the genetically modified turkeys and presumed
to be dead.
The South Park thanksgiving festival is suddenly attacked by the genetically modified turkeys
as well.
The major call for defense; and we see Jimbo and Ned gun down 5 turkeys.
One more turkey was killed by another woman…
And then Jimbo and Ned gun down 6 more turkeys…
And then Chef decapitates one more…
Unfortunately, the turkeys strike back and gang up on and kill Kenny.
Ned shoots 3 more escaping turkeys.
And then throughout the finale, we see a total of 35 more turkey corpses on the ground.
Episode 10, “Mr. Hankey The Christmas Poo”, is actually the only episode in season 1 where
there isn’t a single death.
And yes, that even includes Kenny… who is almost killed several times throughout the
episode… but ends up surviving as some sort of Christmas miracle.
In episode 11, Tom’s Rhinoplasty, Stan falls in love with his substitute teacher… which
angers his girlfriend Wendy.
The first “kill” here is when Wendy gifts Ms. Ellen a dead animal.
And although it’s only referenced, Principal Victoria comes in to tell Wendy that her grandmother
just died.
Kenny’s ultimately killed during a skirmish when a sword gets flung into his face.
And Ms. Ellen is put into a rocket and shot into the center of the sun thanks to Wendy’s
jealousy and anger.
In episode 12 “Mecha Streisand”, Barbara Streisand tres to take over the world through
an ancient artifact…
Kenny’s death this episode involves him being strangled by a tetherball net.
And Barbara Streisand is ultimately killed after turning into Mecha Streisand.
She’s flung out into space and explodes.
The final episode of the first season, “Cartman’s Mom is a dirty S.” includes only one death
which goes, once again, to Kenny.
He tries to start the go-kart, which drags him onto a train track, where he is promptly
run over.
That’s a pretty hefty kill count for a first season… and South Park only gets bigger
and crazier.
Let us know what kill was the most memorable for you.
Make sure to hit that notification bell and binge our other South Park videos.
But most importantly, stay wicked.