[Applause] thank you everybody welcome welcome one
and all to The Late Show I'm your host Stephen Colbert and here's something
here's something you rarely hear there's good news out of Russia because this
morning wrongfully detained WNBA star Brittany Greiner was released from Russia detention boom
Putin tried to take Greiner to the rack and is rejected
now Brittany is coming home but she has to dribble the entire time or it is traveling
it's a big win Big Win For Freedom big win for Joe Biden whose administration brokered
the release the president announced the news with this tweet moments ago I spoke to Brittany
Greiner She is safe she is on a plane she is on her way home that is simply stated
beautiful I'm sure she got on the plane and they said Brittany you can finally rest easy after you
take this 20-minute phone call about the rise and fall of Scranton's historic Taffy factories
Greiner was detained back when was this February she was back in February she was
detained and sentenced to nine years in prison after airport security found Vape
cartridges with .7 grams of cannabis oil in her luggage they gave her hard time for seven
tenths of one gram that's the amount of weed Willie Nelson scrapes out of his belly button
he just secretes it it's like a tap just there you go thanks hold on hold still Willy [Applause]
but now griner's heading home after the White House agreed to a one for one
prisoner swap for Russian arms dealer Victor boot whose nickname is The Merchant of death
so to get a sports star who had less than one gram of weed we handed Over The Merchant of
death this is how it always goes with Russian prisoner swaps okay we give you back tourists
who took on flattering photo of Red Square you release gargog the flesh Mangler Devourer of Souls
prisoner exchange went down in uh Abu Dhabi and Greiner is expected to be back on U.S
soil within 24 hours welcome home Brittany a lot has changed don't Google Kanye Hitler
just trust me it's not it's not worth it I'll call you later speaking of which it has been
a rough month for the former president things got uh worser today when we learned that the
former president's team found two more documents with classified markings is there any place this
guy doesn't have classified documents for him it's like glitter they just get everywhere a
month later you're like why am I still finding nuclear secrets in my butt crack [Applause]
this time this time this time the documents were not in Mar-A-Lago or any of his other
properties instead they were found in a Florida storage unit how fitting the other guys have
presidential libraries he has a presidential CubeSmart the smart that's a funny word
smart boy on Cube the former president's team is already making excuses for him one
source says he has never been inside the storage facility classic legal argument
same reason you can't convict someone of mail fraud unless you catch them inside a mailbox
this is this is just the latest in the series about headlines uh what with him calling for
the termination of the Constitution and sharing nachos with Nazis now you think he learned from
that last one but you're forgetting he is incapable of learning so it's not surprising
that on Tuesday he was photographed with a Q Anon pizzagate conspiracy theorist at
Mar-A-Lago he'll hang out with anybody his next Mar-A-Lago photo op is with The Merchant of death
next It's gotta Gog the flesh Mangler the conspiracy theorist was there to promote
a movie full of Q Anon lies and and she brags that the movie is banned by YouTube Facebook
Instagram Twitter and PayPal first of all [Applause] you can watch movies on PayPal
second if you can't watch on PayPal what's left do I have to stream it on GrubHub
doordash these scandals have taken a toll on the former president's popularity among his
fellow Republicans it's gone from Maga to Maggie and now some Republicans are
gearing up to challenge him former National Security adviser John Bolton remember that
guy that guy says that if GOP candidates won't denounce the ex-president I'm going to seriously
consider getting in it makes sense Bolton already looks like a president from 1886.
yes that's right that's right if elected all voters will receive a bolt of calico
a late model butter churn and a kick from a handsome horse [Applause] there's a big story
in character not in character do very deep work there's a big story out of Peru because yesterday
Peru's president was impeached and arrested after he tried to dissolve Congress so you can take
immediate action against the president who attacks Congress I thought you had to dither about her
for two years until he has dinner with Nazis and then still not do anything the presidential desert
bullion Cube
presidential corruption has been an ongoing problem down in Peru in fact
they've now had five presidents in a little more than two years
they've had more presidents than we've had Spider-Man [Applause]
with great power comes great corruption the president who got ousted this week
was leftist politician Pedro Castillo seen here demanding to know who stole his giant Notepad
Castillo has a bit of a rocky reputation since taking office about a year ago he's been hounded
by corruption charges and yesterday to stop a planned investigation of his administration
he announced the immediate disillusion of Congress and said he would rule by decree
because Congress was overstepping its power of course because it was a Peruvian coup he
immediately got the support of the my alpaca guy oh that'd be comfy I'd sleep on an alpaca
after being detained Castillo was photographed in custody at a police station or perhaps
the waiting room of a chiropractor who believes in the power of angels
here's a fun fact after Peru's Congress impeached him Castillo uh made a run for it but he was
caught because bad traffic appeared to prevent him from escaping that's a traffic report I'd
love to hear well Johnny it's bumper to bumper out here due to a wannabe dictator jackknifed on the
expressway so if you're heading to Machu Picchu you should have left in the year 1450 now there's
some other big news and it's calling from inside the news because starting at midnight last night
New York Times journalists and other staffers went on strike which explains today's front page how do
you work printer Janet usually does this where Janet the Janet Senate damn it damn it Janet
New York Times uh Union has been negotiating for better pay and benefits since last year because
staff compensation hasn't kept up with the paper's profits in fact some staffers had to take second
jobs to make ends meet which is why the New Times Square bubble gum shrimp mascot is Paul Krugman
the union I know it's sad it's sad the union has asked readers not to cross the digital picket
line by avoiding the times website not using their cooking recipes and breaking their wordal streak
no oh with four O's that's a tough one to give up without the Wordle what stupid achievement
will we lord over our spouses still in solidarity with the New York Times Union we here at the Late
Show are happy to fill the void for all you Wordle myrtles by launching the one time only
colbertel here's how she works I'm thinking of a five-letter word you guess one let's
try a round right now everyone in the audience shout out a five-letter word
one of you was correct if you're playing at home tweet your guest with a hashtag colbertel
tomorrow we'll post the answer New York Times once you reach an agreement with your union I
will sell you colbertel for one billion dollars we got a great show for you tonight my guests are
Alicia Keys and Eddie Izard and when we come back meanwhile so I just want to [Applause]
thank you
[Music] thank you