If there's anyone who can make us laugh right now
it is my friend Wanda Sykes.
Honestly, honestly, answer me.
Have you had a drink yet today, Wanda?
Uh, you mean how many?
Yeah, OK.
OK.
How many?
No, 6 o'clock is my cocktail hour.
Actually, it's our cocktail hour.
It signifies we've made it through another day.
We got a lot done.
We're good.
And I look forward to it.
Yeah, I don't blame you.
Right now, I'm just having a little bit of water,
but I am on my way to that 6 o'clock hour myself.
It sometimes slides to 5 o'clock for me
if we're having an early dinner.
Absolutely.
You know what?
I give 90 minutes either way.
Yeah.
Yeah, I think 90 minutes either way, when we say 6:00,
it's approximate time.
Absolutely.
Yeah.
You know, I'm watching you in your hilarious Instagram posts.
How are you and Alex getting along, honestly, really?
Great.
First of all, I want you to know that this is special right
here, what I'm doing.
Because you know, this, I drew on some eyebrows
and everything.
So I got real special for you.
But Alex and I, we're getting along great.
We are.
You know what, I see your posts also,
and you guys are going through the same thing.
This is new territory for all married couples,
just couples in general.
This is new territory.
You find out what you've made of, really.
Because ain't nobody sign up for this.
You know, we said sickness and health and all
that, but nobody said 24/7, just you and that's it.
No one said that.
You're the only person that I talk to, as far as, like,
physical, and hug.
You need to miss somebody every now and then, you know?
Yeah.
This is a whole new level.
This a whole new level.
I agree.
They say sickness and health, but no one
said "quarantine," or "pandemic,"
or anything like that in marriage.
No, no one said "Trump."
No one.
[LAUGHS] No one mentioned-- you are right.
No one mentioned that in the marriage vows.
No.
What is happening?
So the twins are going to be--
they're 11, right?
Are they 11?
They will be 11, God willing, soon, yeah, the 27th.
It's approaching soon.
And this will be a birthday that they
will remember for the rest of their lives, you know?
Yeah.
Yeah, they're going to probably have a little Zoom party.
But they're good.
They really are.
They're adjusting.
And I'm learning a lot about them.
They love lights.
They just love lights and electricity.
I have to look to make sure the light is
on because it's so bright in the house from the daylight.
I'm like, why would they even need to turn this on, you know?
I might have their eyes checked when we get out of this.
I really am.
But they love lights.
And yeah.
But they're doing great.
They really are adjusting and learned a lot about them.
Well, that's a lot of wasted energy.
Yeah, you talk to them about that.
And you know, it's got to be hard, too,
because you want to stay informed.
You want to watch the news and see what's going on,
but you also don't want the kids to see what's happening, right?
Right, right, right.
Oh, man, it's just so stressful.
So what we'll do is, like, I'll watch Cuomo's press conference
in the morning, and then that's it.
Then at night, we'll watch Rachel.
Alex and I will watch them.
But the kids, we don't watch the news
or have it on in the background while they're home and all.
But I know, I see on social media and everything,
and I see some reports, where they're
calling it "the Chinese virus."
And I see that a lot of Asian-Americans are being
harassed, and attacked, and that's just--
it's just disgusting.
It's wrong.
And I really wish people would just cut it out, man.
Because it's not a Chinese virus.
Yeah.
We have to take a break.
More with Wanda after this.
All right, we're back with Wanda Sykes.
Hi, Wanda!
Andy says hi, Wanda--
Hey, Andy.
--he's in the yard.
Andy, I hope they sprayed that cardboard down because that's
scary, that cardboard.
But it's been out there for months, so it's OK.
Oh, OK.
It's old cardboard.
OK.
Yeah.
Because you know, now, you don't even need a gun or a knife
to rob somebody, you just need a box.
Wanda, what are you doing for fun?
You know, you inspired me.
I did a jigsaw puzzle.
Babe, bring me that box.
Just bring me the box.
So Alex got me a jigsaw puzzle for Christmas.
It was for Christmas.
It was an awful gift-- worse gift anyone has ever given me.
I love jigsaw puzzles, but I wanted
to throw this at her it was so bad.
And actually, I started working on it, and I'm almost finished.
But look at this.
Look at this.
Look, who gives somebody this?
Yes, we've gotten one like that.
That's horrible.
We've gotten one like that.
Yeah, it's a gradient puzzle.
This says, I hate you, and I want you to go nuts.
This is what it is.
But I'm almost finished with it.
Oh, you did it?
You're doing it?
Yeah, I'm almost done.
I'm pretty much up to--
I just have this part left--
Wow.
--this part left.
Yeah.
There are these new jigsaw puzzles,
Portia got one, someone gave her, that there's no picture,
but you don't know what you're doing.
You're putting it together without a picture.
Have you seen those?
What?
It's a jigsaw puzzle, but there's no picture.
So once you get the edges done, then what?
You're trying to put it together.
You don't know what it is.
You know what?
I'm going to post it to show people what we're doing.
OK, I'm glad you said post it.
Don't send me that.
Mm-mm.
No, I'm not gonna send it.
I'll just post it to see--
oh, you did the LEGOs, I heard.
The LEGO architect-- what was it?
Architecture?
Yeah.
We did one.
This is Paris.
It's the Eiffel Tower.
Yeah.
And there's the Arc de Triomphe and the Louvre.
Yeah.
You had a hard time, but my son did this
in, like, two hours, Ellen.
Well, he's a genius.
Just saying.
That's amazing.
Now one last question because everyone
is flipping out about-- like, you
mentioned you did your eyebrows for us.
I appreciate it, even though I would take you however
you want to come.
But have you attempted to cut your hair
or do anything to your hair?
Because people are flipping out about their hair.
I don't think I've ever been on your show wearing a hat,
so that should tell you the condition that my hair is
in right now.
It's a lot of gray, a lot of gray going on.
I don't know.
I might just have to take a Sharpie to it.
I'm not sure.
Color this in.
Whew.
Yeah.
It's quarantine life.
Yes.
At least, you can take a Sharpie to it.
My hair is blond.
I can't take a Sharpie to it.
And I also took the dog-grooming shears
and tried to attempt to thin out my hair,
but there's just, like, a giant black hole there on the side
now.
Anyway, it doesn't matter.
It's all going to turn a different color.
We're all going to watch it happen.
Wanda, I love talking to you, and I miss you.
And hopefully, we see each other soon in person.
And my love to Alex and the family.
Love you, too.
Love to Portia Muah.
Bye.
We'll be right back.