>>> WERE BACK. 8:46.
8:46.
ALL RIGHT.
READY FOR TOUGH LOVE? DR. PHIL McGRAW IS HERE.
HE LOVES TOUGH LOVE.
HES THE HOST OF "DR. PHIL SHOW."E HOST OF "DR. PHIL
SHOW."
ITS ON ITS 16th SEASON. >> A COUPLE ON THE VERGE OF
COLLAPSE SHARES THEIR STORY TO
SEE IF ANYTHING CAN SAVE THEIR
RELATIONSHIP. NORMALLY, I IMAGINE YOUD BE THE
PERFECT PERSON TO GIVE THE
ADVICE.
ADVICE. IN THE CASE OF LOUIS AND
MARYANN, WHICH WELL SEE ON YOUR
SHOW TODAY, THATS NOT THE CASE.
>> IM ALL ABOUT UNIFICATION.
KEEP FAMILIES TOGETHER. SOMETIMES, PEOPLE JUST MEET AND
THEY JUST THINK THEY HAVE TO
FORCE IT.
FORCE IT.
EVERY TIME YOU MEET SOMEBODY,
DOESNT MEAN YOU HAVE TO GET
MARRIED.
IN THIS SITUATION, THEY COME AND
ASK ME, SHOULD THEY GET MARRIED
OR NOT?
I HAD A REALLY SIMPLE ANSWER. SHE SHOT HIM.Y SIMPLE ANSWER.
SHE SHOT HIM. >> I WAS GOING TO SAY, IT WASNT
A GRAY AREA, COMPLICATED ONES.
>> WHAT HAPPENED?
>> HE CHEATED, AND SHE SHOT HIM.
>> WHO KNOWS WHAT THEY DID OR
DIDNT DO.
>> CLAIMED IT WAS SELF-DEFENSE
IN THE BACK OF THE LEG.
>> CAN WE GET BEYOND THAT IN A
RELATIONSHIP?
YOURE SAYING, NO, THATS THE
LINE IN THE SAND.
>> I SAID, YOU SHOULDNT GET
MARRIED.
IN FACT, YOU SHOULDNT BE TOGETHER PAST SUNDOWN TONIGHT.
GET IN DIFFERENT STATES.
>> WHAT WAS YOUR EPISODE ABOUT
TODAY?
TODAY?
>> WHAT DO YOU DO FOR THE NEXT
58 MINUTES?
>> THIS IS A SIMPLE ONE.
>> SERIOUSLY.
THEY WOULDNT GIVE IT UP.
>> WOW.
>> SHE WANTED TO DO IT.
HE WANTED TO DO IT.
IM, LIKE, ARE YOU PEOPLE --
>> IT IS COMPLICATED.
THEY MET ONLINE.
HE WAS MARRIED.
THERE IS QUITE THE BACK STORY. >> IT IS A BACK STORY.K STORY.
>> IT IS A BACK STORY. >> SOMEONE INHERITED DOUBLE
DIGIT MILLIONS. >> THE PLOT THICKENS.
>> THERES MORE TO IT.
>> BEYOND LOUIS AND MARIMAN,Y MA
UNUSUAL CASE, IS THERE A POINT
OF NO RETURN IN A RELATIONSHIP?
>> THERE IS A POINT OF NO
RETURN.
RETURN.
I THINK WE GET DIVORCE TOO QUICK IN AMERICA.GET DIVORCE TOO QUICK
IN AMERICA.
WE HAVE TO TURN OVER EVERY
STONE, INVESTIGATE EVERY AVENUE OF REHABILITATION BEFORE WEENUE
OF REHABILITATION BEFORE WE QUIT.
QUIT.
WE QUIT TOO EARLY. WHEN YOU RUN OUT OF HAVING FUN,
YOU QUIT.
YOU QUIT.
THATS NOT THE TIME TO DO IT.
>> WHAT DO YOU DO? CREATE A NEW JOY EVERY DAY IS
ONE OF YOUR THINGS.
>> ABSOLUTELY.
>> ABSOLUTELY. IF YOU WANT YOUR MARRIAGE TO
WORK, WAKE UP EVERY DAY AND SAY,
WHAT CAN I DO TODAY TO MAKE MY
PARTNER HAPPY?
PARTNER HAPPY?
LITTLE THINGS. PUT A NOTE IN THEIR POCKET.
SEND THEM A LITTLE -- YOU DONT
HAVE TO SEND FLOWERS EVERY DAY.
JUST DO SOMETHING TO FOCUS ON
YOUR PARTNER IN CREATING JOY.
>> THATS NICE.
YOU ALSO SAY HAVING A FRIENDSHIP
IS KEY.
IS KEY.
I MEAN, I THINK THATS SO TRUE,
A REAL FOUNDATION.
>> EVERY RELATIONSHIP IS BASED
ON AN UNDERLYING FRIENDSHIP.
WHAT DO YOU DO WITH YOUR
FRIENDS?
TELL JOKES, LAUGH, SHARE THINGS.
WITH YOUR PARTNER, YOU GO BY HALLWAY.R PARTNER, YOU GO BY
HALLWAY.
DO WHAT YOUD DO WITH A FRIEND. >> FIGHTING IS INEVITABLE IN ANY
RELATIONSHIP.
RELATIONSHIP.
IS THERE A WRONG AND RIGHT WAY TO FIGHT?A WRONG AND RIGHT WAY
TO FIGHT?
>> PEOPLE GET IN RELATIONSHIPS AND BECOME RIGHT FIGHTERS.HIPS
AND BECOME RIGHT FIGHTERS. YOU WANT TO BE RIGHT.
CHANGE YOUR GOAL IN A FIGHT TO
BEING RIGHT AND SAY, I JUST WANT
TO BE UNDERSTOOD.
UNDERSTAND MY POSITION. THEN WELL SEE WHAT HAPPENS.
MOST OF THE TIME, IF YOU DO
THAT, THE OTHER PERSON WILL TRY
TO COME AROUND TO YOUR WAY OF
THINKING.
THINKING.
YOULL FIND SOME MIDDLE GROUND.
DONT BE A RIGHT FIGHTER.
THATS SO TEDIOUS.
>> WHEN YOURE TRYING TO BE,
LIKE, I TOLD YOU SO, BASICALLY.
>> IF YOURE RIGHT, IT MEANS
YOUR PARTNER IS A LOSER. WHO WANTS TO BE MARRIED TO A
LOSER?
LOSER?
>> THE GOAL ISNT WINNING. ITS REPAIRING.NT WINNING.
ITS REPAIRING.
>> FINDING MIDDLE GROUND.
>> SOMETIMES, I THINK, YOU HAVE A SENSE, OH, WERE NOT, YOU HAVE
A SENSE, OH, WERE NOT CONNECTING.
CONNECTING.
ONE PARTNER MIGHT SAY, WE SHOULD SEE A COUNSELOR OR SOMETHING,ULD
SEE A COUNSELOR OR SOMETHING, AND THE OTHER PARTNER GOES, NO,
THAT MEANS WERE HEADED FOR
DIVORCE.
DIVORCE.
>> THATS THE END.
>> YOU SAY, ASK FOR HELP.
>> LOOK, IF YOURE IN OVER YOUR
HEAD, IF IT IS FALLING APART,
GETTING WORSE, NOT BETTER,
YOURE DIVIDING, ASK FOR HELP.
GO TO YOUR PASTOR.
GET A COUNSELOR.
YOU DONT HAVE TO HAVE A LOT OF
MONEY.
THERES COUNTY PLACES YOU CAN GO.RES COUNTY PLACES YOU CAN
GO.
THERES ALL SORTS OF HELP OUT THERE BASED ON THE ABILITY TO
PAY.
PAY.
GET HELP.
ASK FOR HELP.
>> JUST BECAUSE YOU GO TO COUNSELING DOESNT MEAN YOUR
RELATIONSHIP IS HEADED FOR
DISASTER.
DISASTER.
>> YOURE DOING EVERYTHING YOU
CAN TO SAVE IT.
>> YOUVE BEEN MARRIED, WHAT, 41
YEARS?
>> 41 YOREEARS.
>> WHATS THE SECRET?
>> WHEN MY WIFE SAYS "WHAT," IT
ISNT THAT SHE DIDNT HEAR ME.
SHES GIVING ME A CHANCE TO
CHANGE WHAT I SAID. LEARN TO MOVE YOUR POSITION.
MOVE YOUR POSITION IN A
RELATIONSHIP.
RELATIONSHIP.
>> YOU SAY, YES, MAAM, RIGHT? >> YES, MAAM.ES, MAAM, RIGHT?
>> YES, MAAM. >> TWO IMPORTANT WORDS.
DR. PHIL, THANKS SO MUCH.
CHECK OUT THE "DR. PHIL SHOW"
TODAY.
TODAY.
CHECK YOUR LOCAL LISTINGS. WERE BACK IN A MOMENT.NGS.