Few months ago my roommate died.
We didn’t know what happened to him for a while and after a few days the cops declared
it as a suicide.
I am not going into the details of his death, but I am going to talk about my experiences
after the incident.
I was mostly alone in my apartment and I had nightmares about him, especially, days that
followed his death.
In my dreams he was always in all fours, like a beast and he raged towards me and I would
wake up drenched in sweat.
I had to pass by his bedroom every time I had to use the washroom and I would always
take a moment to open his bedroom door, hoping and at the same time fearing that he would
be there.
Whenever I cooked I kept looking behind my back to see if he was standing right behind me
But my experiences were just that, they were MY experiences and illusions, which stemmed
from my fear and lack of understanding.
This had nothing to with him or his death.
If he had simply moved to another part of town, I would have understood his absence
and I wouldn’t certainly, be afraid of it.
But why is this any different?
Maybe because, of all the questions that I had in my mind.
For starters, what happened to him?
He was here just days ago, talking to me, sharing his problems.
I’ve seen him.
He was happy, he had one of the most beautiful smiles, sometimes he was angry, and sometimes
he was sad.
Like all of us, he had hopes and dreams.
What happened to those emotions and aspirations?
Did they also die with the person?
When I saw his face in the morgue, I clearly saw that something was missing, something
that was there just days ago.
Life was missing.
It is indescribable, but clearly I could spot the difference between a living person and
a dead body, life and death.
It is equally baffling that we all just accepted the fact that he’s dead and moved on so
quickly.
Death is widely accepted but not understood and I feel like we fear what we don’t understand.
We have evolved and travelled quite far as a species but our primal fear of unknown is
still safely tucked in.
We don’t know what lies beyond and by default, we imagine the worst.
There is a billion dollar industry that makes its money by just imagining the worst.
My grandma was 99 when she died and my sister was holding her hand and observed the whole
process of dying from such close proximity.
Her experience was was incredibly painful but undeniably amazing.
I asked her about it and she described her experience as follows. Quote
In some cultures, the process of dying is celebrated.
In some Easter European countries the doors and windows are left open when a person is
dying for their soul to leave peacefully.
In southern parts of India when a person dies, many dance to exciting tunes on the way to
the burial ground as the exciting music and joyous dancing sets the tone for their journey
to the beyond.
These are simple gestures, but they mean so much.
We can easily ridicule these traditions by asking several seemingly logical questions
but an important significance of these traditions is that they tell us that this is an age-old
conversation.
Our ancestors were equally baffled and intrigued with death and the curiosity about what lies
beyond.
Actually, I think they were more open and honest about death in the past than us, because
right now, most of us are running away from it or are taught to distract ourselves from
such depressing ideas.
In 2008, the University of Southampton sponsored a massive scientific study called AWARE examining
the broad range of mental experiences in relation to death.
It included 15 hospitals from three countries (The US, UK and Austria) and it involved 2060
patients.
Researchers tested the validity of the conscious experience with objective markers, for the
very first time to determine whether the claims of out of body and Near Death Experiences
correspond to the real events.
Dr Sam Parnia, Assistant Professor of Critical Care Medicine and Director of Resuscitation
Research at The State University of New York is the lead author of this study.
He described the foundation of this study as such: Quote
In this study there was a curious case, where a patient seemed to be conscious for full
three minutes when there was no heartbeat and the experiences of the patient was validated
as the detailed recollection of the patient corresponded with the actual events during
that time.
It came off as paradoxical and hugely surprising as the common understanding is that the brain
activity ceases all functions within 20 to 30 seconds and doesn’t resume until the
heart has been restarted.
The study concluded that more genuine scientific and medical research is needed in this area
without any prejudice.
So, coming to our question, what happens after death?
Where do we go?
Advaita/ Vedanta, an ancient Indian school of philosophy has a different view on death
than the conventional view.
When it comes to Advaitha, the act of ceasing to exist in one form cannot even be termed
as death, it is merely a transformation.
It is inline with the law of conservation of energy.
Energy can neither be created nor be destroyed; it can merely be transformed from one form
to another.
According to Advaita when a form dies, the energy or the soul goes back to its basic
components, the elements, which then take another form such as grass, water, ants etc.
and the cycle repeats.
I think they are onto something here.
But I have to be honest.
Lately, I am realizing that I can’t say anything for certain.
The only thing that I know is the fact that I don’t know anything and everything can
be questioned at their primal level and the only thing that’s left to do is to observe
quietly.
So I’m not a believer of anything but there is a proverb in my native language that I
really like.
I would like to translate it to you, to the ones who are still watching.
It goes like this:
‘Those who have seen it, has never talked about it, and those who are talking about
it, has never seen it.’
Alright, that's it for today's episode.
Have you ever had any odd experiences with death or dying?
If so, I would love to hear about it, so leave the answers in the comments below.
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series; you can click and watch them.
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