Heya playa, do you ever feel like you're going through life alone?
Like you don't really have a strong supportive network to help encourage
you through life's toughest moments? If that's the case, if you don't really
have close friends or family that are by your side I'm gonna walk you through what you can
do to start building that network and how to deal with those feelings of being alone.
Having no one there in your corner can make you feel hopeless like you have to
just figure things out on your own. That's why it's so important to
build platonic relationships with others. In fact, I'm going to link up here a chart
which is going to help you figure out the four stages in your life that you can work on to help
you battle those feelings of hopelessness. This is the second video in a series of four
and this time we're going to focus on those platonic relationships.
Now if you think about the different friendships you've had in your life even if you have no one
now chances are you've had some type of friends whether through school or your
neighborhood or somewhere else in your life. And it's important to ask yourself what do your
relationships look like with those people now? A lot of friendships and I would even venture
to say most naturally dissolve over time and it's not because you had a big fight
with that person or want nothing to do with them. Realistically people drift apart and it's because
of so many reasons that are out of your control. People's lifestyles and values change
as they get older. They get into romantic
relationships and start families or they just move to a different part of the world that's
totally distant from where the two of you grew up. And the real sad part is that most of those people
didn't just automatically stop caring about you. Realistically they do care about you and
think about you from time to time just like you think about them.
They just don't really have the time to communicate that you would hope for.
So if you're feeling lonely and longing for those people that you grew up with
or went to school with you can still maintain those friendships it's just going to be on a
different level than what you may be used to. What I would recommend is this, try to go
through your old yearbooks and find people that you really enjoyed spending time with,
or look through your old tagged photos. Scroll down your Instagram feed all the way
back to pictures of you hanging out with those people and try to really reconnect with them.
Whether it's forming a group chat and inviting them all back
in or reaching out to them one by one. All while recognizing that they may not
communicate at the level that you hope they would. Meaning you guys are buddy-buddy, you're chatting
all the time and hanging out. They may just talk to you once
in a while but it's a good way to really catch up and reconnect with those old
people so you don't don't feel as lonely. Sometimes it's easier to open up to an old
friend rather than investing the time in making a new one.
Simply because they know a bit of your backstory, the two of you have a history and if you were
to share things with them you don't have to catch them up on the entirety of your life.
You can also try to be more engaging and interactive on your old friend's posts.
Now there is a way I would recommend doing it and it's a way
that a friend catches up with me all the time. Every so often whenever I post something online
that's either personal or Josh Speaks related my friend will chime in and say something that
makes me smile, that makes me happy knowing that we shared such a strong bond years ago.
And it's not just liking all my pictures or saying happy birthday once a year,
it's a genuine heartfelt message. They may write something like "I'm so
inspired by all that you do! I love watching your journey and even though we haven't
talked in a long time I'm by your side." Something like that just really means a
lot to me and I know that if you were to share those types of responses with your
old friends it'd mean a lot to them too. But let's say your feelings of loneliness
don't really stem from losing connection with people in the past.
Maybe you didn't really have a closer group of friends in the past and you kind of have always
been a loner but now you want to have people you can talk to and open up to and share things with.
Is it easy to make new friends? It's complicated.
The truth is as you get older making new friends gets vastly more complicated.
As people grow they start to get more set in their ways.
So it becomes harder to mingle and meet new people because if someone doesn't really align with your
values and your lifestyle you don't really have that deep interest to connect with them as much.
When you're younger though theoretically it's so much easier to make friends because
you're all pulled together based on the experience that you're sharing.
You're all in school together, you're all on the same sports team, and you're
all doing the same type of activity. And it's that bonding experience that
creates the friendship not so much the values. So if you want to make new friends the best
thing you can do is to focus on values and experience and blend those two worlds together.
That's going to introduce you to new people that believe similar things to you, and that
understand your way of thinking, and it allows you to share that experience together.
To go through something that's going to help in that bonding moment.
So what does that look like in real life? Well, it could mean joining a volunteer
service where you're surrounded by people that are caring and kind in nature that
share your same values and you're also participating in an activity with them.
You're donating clothing items, you're feeding homeless people, you're really
just taking care of people together. Or it could mean seeking out a Discord
server of people that are car enthusiasts. People like you love to live life in the fast
lane and the experience that brings the two of you guys together is sharing pictures of your car,
working on your cars, showing off your cars, and just living in that car world together.
And what's really required of you is to think deeply about the things you care
about because no matter what it may be there is a community out there that you can connect with.
So put yourself out there, seek out those people, and start those
conversations if they aren't already happening. The one thing I will say though is that if you are
feeling hopeless and alone it could sometimes be easy to fall into negative communities.
Those are places where all people do is attack others and mock them and just belittle each other.
There really isn't a positive supportive space there, it's just people tearing down other people.
So you got to be wise when it comes to reconnecting with old friends or making new ones.
But something that's so important and I think you need to hear this is that you
bring something unique to the table. It may not feel that way sometimes.
It may feel like no one cares about what you have to say and that you don't provide any
value in the lives of others or just in general and it's simply not true.
You have a lot to offer and not just in your stories and experiences that you can share with
others, just in you being you. You're unique in your
own way and that's worth sharing. But I don't want to make things sound easier than
they are so that's why I want to hear from you. What's your experience been like in forming
platonic relationships with friends and family? Has it always been a struggle for you or is this
something more recent? Leave your comments
down below and let's talk about it. And like I said, this is the second video
in a four-part video series on feeling hopeless. I cover each of the different areas that I think
you can work on in your life so click on the video over there on the screen now
to check out the first video and the rest that are part of this playlist.
On that note, I'll catch you next time. As always, love and peace.