You had incredible success at SNL,
and, um, with all of your different characters.
And what's interesting, and I know you, you've,
this has got to be a powerful theme for you.
But I wanna just go back to your childhood,
'cause it's so defining when you were ill.
You were seriously, seriously ill.
Yeah. Yeah.
And I believe you had leukemia, a form of leukemia.
Yes. Yeah, yeah.
And you'd think that that would, um, not fuel comedy.
Right. Right.
But even at the time that you were sick as a child.
Yeah.
Your family tried to find humor in it.
Is that right?
Yes.
We would joke about it all the time.
And we would particularly joke about
all the like, perks we got from it.
(laughing)
And we would like use it
Like what perks?
Wow. Free chemo.
(laughing)
Try and get that at a party.
Jesus Christ.
Well, there's that.
Well I know, I'm sorry.
No, no, no, no, no.
I, I, it's just like, it's like,
whenever you go through a difficult time
Yep.
People are so nice to you.
Yeah.
You know?
Yeah.
So maybe I'm messed up, that I focus on that,
but like I, like I was in high school
and I could like come into school late all the time.
Like I just came into school whenever I wanted
we had such a strict attendance woman.
And a lot of times it was because, you know
I wanted to sleep in, especially like when I, you know
later on in my treatment when things were like, you know
I was starting to feel better and stuff.
I just could like, come in whenever I wanted
I didn't have to do gym class.
Oh my God.
That's a, that is
You guys are reacting as big as I thought
No, no, no, but I,
That one hit me to the core.
No, no, no. Trust me.
You are talking to three people
who were very happy to miss gym class.
Yes.
Yeah.
Right?
Yeah.
I mean, what is more humiliating in high school
then gym class?
And you have to change into the outfit and it's so
And they want you to climb up a rope,
and your arms don't work.
This is what I remember.
Yeah.
I couldn't climb up that rope.
Yeah. I just was like, I, I don't wanna start doing this.
And they were like, okay.
Um, what else?
Like I didn't have to, someone asked me to homecoming.
And I said, well, I, sorry.
I have chemo that weekend.
Was this someone you didn't wanna go?
It was someone I didn't wanna go with.
Okay.
And then I actually ended up going with someone else
I, I'm, but I said
Oh my God, how did, how did that person feel?
They, I said they changed.
I can't make it, I've got chemo.
I said they changed the weekend of my chemo.
But I'm still not going with you
Look, it doesn't make you a good person.
Having cancer doesn't make you a good person.
(all laughing)
Hey, if we can get one moral out of today's episode,
that, yeah. Yeah. Okay.
Wait, so there's no upside to cancer, then,
is what I'm hearing?
Okay.
I like to think I mostly didn't use it
for stuff like that but,
either way I also always really liked attention.
Yes.
And it's a great way to get it.
It's like, it's like when you're a kid
and you see, like, someone come on the bus
and they have a broken leg and you're like,
well it must be nice to be them.
(laughing)
You know?
Like everyone's gonna sign their cast now.
Okay. I have, I, I can exactly.
I can exactly relate to what you're talking about.
Because when I was, when I was in the,
when I was in the fourth grade,
um, as anyone who knows anything about me knows,
I'm one of six, and we were born, you know,
weeks apart, and, um jammed in together.
And I was kind of in the middle,
and I felt very anonymous and, uh,
and really was thinking, how do I get attention?
Yeah.
It'd be nice to get some attention.
One day in the fourth grade, it was in December.
I remember it was right near my brother's birthday.
I went to school
and we had gym class and that day was wrestling.
And as a joke, someone came running up
and jumped on me and I fell backwards
and put my arm back and it bent the wrong way.
Whoa.
And I really broke my elbow badly.
They were like, well, you're going to the nurse.
And I go to the nurse
and my arm won't work and I know something's wrong.
And they call my mom.
And my mom comes rushing to school.
I'm like, my mom is coming to school.
She loves me?
Yeah, she loves me?
(laughing)
And they, I could remember the nurse on the phone
saying it's Conan.
No, he's no, not Luke.
No, no, no.
That's Neil, you're thinking of.
No, no, no.
It's not Justin.
No. Kate is a girl.
No, it's not.
No, it's not Jane either.
No, it's, okay.
And she was like, got it, got it.
But she came, they take me to the hospital.
They, uh, gave me a drug that made me super high.
I remember like, I don't know what this is, but this isn't
I suddenly have no inhibitions.
And then they put me in a big cast.
My mom took me home.
They put me, like, on a couch in, like,
the center of the house.
And I remembered all my brothers and sisters coming home
and coming up to me to see how I was,
and everybody talking about me,
and I was told you don't have to go to school.
And it's almost Christmas vacation anyway.
So, you're gonna have multiple weeks off from school.
And, um, then I remembered my mom,
because it was before Christmas, she went and got
one of the toys that quote Santa was going to give me
and gave it to me ahead of time.
Oh.
And I was sitting there thinking
this is fucking awesome.
(laughing)
Yeah
That is great, that is great.
And then walking around with a big cast,
and a girl I had a crush on being like, are you okay?
And I'm like
Well, I don't know.
I may lose the arm
(laughing)
Uh, and I, you, so, I mean, and that's just a broken arm.
That's not-
Yeah.
Leukemia. That's not cancer.
Yeah.
But I understand there is a weird, um,
Yeah.
I don't know, power, that can come from it.
Totally, totally.
And, you know, obviously that was like
I feel like, sort of focusing on that stuff
helped me get through that time,
but we really had fun with it.
(laughing)
Yeah.