Hey so have you ever heard of this term self-sabotage it's thrown around a lot
in self-help circles and basically what it means is you're doing something
unconsciously that is sabotaging your success so say you really want to get
healthy but every morning you sleep in and miss your appointment at the gym
right people would say oh I'm self sabotaging right and there are some
truth to this we definitely self-sabotage in many ways but I think
amongst us enfps and infps those of us who are quite introspective so we're
always reflecting on you know why we do what we do and how you know our actions
relate to our thoughts and all this kind of stuff maybe I'll throw in the INFJs
with that as well is we jump to this maybe prematurely and what I'm gonna
suggest in this video and make an argument for is that most of the time
you are not self sabotaging you are not scared of happiness you are not
determined to be bitter and angry your whole life no I know none of you guys
are bitter and angry just I look at my comments you're awesome thank you
but there is many times a case that you're just doing the wrong thing and
your plan from the beginning is wrong and so with that you're not self
sabotaging you just set yourself up to fail and I want to explain a bit of the
difference see we live in a world that primarily for better or worse is
designed by s types and usually T types people who like structure and tend to be
a little more consistent with their beliefs and their actions and that sort
of thing and that's pretty good if you like public transportation or food you
know that kind of thing because if enfps or in charge of making sure the grocery
stores kept a consistent stock we'd all be going hungry quite a lot right so
this is a good thing I'm not claiming anything drawn from society but it means
that often if we follow a traditional plan that what other people tell us to
do we will be going against our natural grain will be going against the things
that actually will work really well for us and then we fail or we hit all these
roadblocks and then think oh I must be self sabotaging
some weird unconscious thing because when I was a kid my dad didn't love me
enough so therefore I can't ever be happy and but maybe maybe that's true or
maybe you're just trying to work at a job that you're not wired for and you
suck at or maybe you're trying to get up at 6:00 a.m. to go to the gym but you're
a night owl so that's stupid go to the gym at night and that's what I'd like to
reflect on and have you reflect on is if you are someone who goes through these
areas of self-sabotage you know you think about it or reflect on certain
things you've been struggling to do take a bit of time and actually think about
the process of how you're doing that is it in line with what you're naturally
going to be good at but also what energizes you this is something I've
become a little obsessed with lately is around what energizes us and what
activities are really great for us I do this program called the free freelancer
it's a group coaching program for freelancers and coaches and the other
day on Thurs between Thursday and Friday I think I had maybe 18 coaching calls
set up with people and that's a lot as any coach can tell you because you
usually don't do like back-to-back calls you you want to rest and make sure
you're really refreshed and all that but it was a special thing for the program
anyhow Thursday at 10:00 10:30 at night I finished I'd started around noon and I
actually had more energy than when I started in the day and thinking like I'm
aware when I'm coaching I'm sort of reflecting on I guess my energy levels
and what I'm saying and that sort of thing and I think my last couple calls
of the day were as good or better than my first calls and that's crazy but the
reason why that is is because coaching for me is something that really
energizes me and it's aligned with what I do well so when it comes to coaching
I don't self-sabotage I've never once in four years of coaching for god about or
missed a coaching call unless I forgot about forgetting about the coaching call
which could have happened maybe I have forgot about one but as far as I know
I've never missed one slept in anything like that because I why would I
self-sabotage that I love it it's aligned with what energizes me and
it's you know good for me and my business so it doesn't make sense right
but often if I have something that I really hate doing some kind of mundane
organizational tasks with details or accounting reports I always use that as
an example there's lots of other stuff as well that I will procrastinate and
perhaps I could look at it and say oh I'm self sabotaging because I should
have got this accounting done but I didn't get it done so this must be
self-sabotage is it in a way yes I am sabotaging myself by not getting that
accounting done it might impact my success but I'm not doing that because
of some unconscious belief or a feeling like I should never be successful I'm
just doing that cuz I don't like doing accounting type work so it makes sense
right and so what I would encourage you to do is look at your activities and
come up with three activities that really drain you that you just hate
doing and then think about how those maybe perhaps relate to the things that
you tend to self-sabotage on or skip or procrastinate think about that a little
bit perhaps those three activities you come up with are the things you're
always procrastinating and then while you're at it come up with three
activities that really energize you that you could literally do for 10 or 12
hours a day and you'd be great at it you'd have tons of energy
think about those and I'm gonna do more videos on this concept so if you haven't
of course subscribe to the channel because then you'll get those videos and
we can be friends so I'm gonna do more on that but it's something just to get
thinking about now what are those three activities for you that really drain you
and how often do you tend to procrastinate or self-sabotage or
whatever around those activities I'm guessing there's a pretty high
correlation and so what I'm going to say here or propose is that if over time and
this takes time I'm still perfecting it with my own business and I've been at
this a while here is over time you'll be able to eliminate more and more of those
activities that really drain you and you'll be able to do more and more base
business or your job or your hobbies around the things that really energize
you and when you do that I'm guessing you're gonna find that you no longer
self-sabotage you don't procrastinate because you're doing the things you
actually enjoy doing all right that's my theory let me know if you
think I'm nuts or a genius down in the comment again if you haven't please do
subscribe to the channel I love to see this community grow and that's it
catching the next video soon Cheers