>> Stephen: WELCOME BARK EVERYBODY.
ONE OF THE BIGGEST BENEFITS OF BEING A CELEBRITY IS RAISING
AWARENESS OF CHARITABLE CAUSES THAT MINE A LOT TO ME.
NOT AS BIG A PERK AS GETTING TO MEET KATY PERRY, BUT STILL
PRETTY BIG.
AND I RECENTLY LEARNED ABOUT A CAUSE THAT I WANTED TO SUPPORT
BY RECORDING A PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT.
AS LUCK WOULD HAVE IT, IT MEANS A LOT TO THE GREAT ACTOR MICHAEL
SHANNON AS WELL.
>> Stephen: I'M STEPHEN COLBERT.
>> AND I'M MICHAEL SHANNON.
>> Stephen: AMERICA'S HISTORIC THEATERS ARE MORE THAN JUST
BUILDINGS.
THEY'RE PART OF OUR CULTURAL HERITAGE, NONE MORE SO THAN
MANHATTAN'S HISTORIC WINFIELD THEATER.
IN IT'S HEYDAY, THE WINFIELD WAS A JEWEL OF AMERICAN CULTURE,
HOSTING SUCH TALENTS AS CHARLIE CHAPLIN, BILLIE HOLLIDAY, AND
MR. DOMINGO AND CHATTERBOX, WITH HIS PAL BUBSY-- THE ONLY
VENTRILOQUIST TO FEATURE A DUMMY WITH IT'S OWN DUMMY.
>> BUT YEARS OF NEGLECT HAVE LEFT THE WINFIELD ON THE EDGE OF
COLLAPSE.
SO WON'T YOU PLEASE HELP US...
>> SAVE THE HISTORIC WINFIELD THEATER.
>> Stephen: MICHAEL, THANK YOU FOR HELPING ME GET THAT OUT
THERE.
IT'S IMPORTANT.
>> THESE THEATERS ARE ALL WE HAVE.
>> Stephen: THEY'RE NATIONAL TREASURES.
THEY'RE SO FUN TO DO.
WE'RE RARELY TOGETHER, AS WE'VE NEVER MET BEFORE.
SO WHILE I HAD YOU HERE, WE RECORDED NEXT YEAR'S PSA AS
WELL.
HELLO, I'M STEPHEN COLBERT.
>> AND I'M MICHAEL SHANNON.
>> Stephen: LAST YEAR, WE ASKED YOU TO SAVE THE HISTORIC
WINFIELD THEATER, AND YOU CAME THROUGH, BIG TIME.
>> THANKS TO YOUR HELP, THE WINFIELD HAS BEEN RESTORED TO
IT'S FORMER GLORY.
IT'S BEAUTIFUL.
AND NOW WE NEED YOUR HELP AGAIN.
>> Stephen: WE NEED TO DESTROY THE HISTORIC WINFIELD THEATER.
>> TURNS OUT, THE THEATER WAS HAUNTED, EXTREMELY HAUNTED.
>> Stephen: THE CONSTRUCTION UNCOVERED SOME KIND OF PORTAL TO
THE NETHERWORLD, AND NOW, GHOULISH APPARITIONS ROAM OUR
STREETS, CORNERING THE LIVING, YELLING THEIR CHILDREN'S NAMES
AT THEM!
>> WE MUST SILENCE THE TERRIFYING CACKLES OF MR.
DOMINGO, CHATTERBOX, AND BUBSY!
>> Stephen: WE HAVE TO SEAL THIS PARANORMAL BREACH BEFORE MORE
EVIL SPIRITS ENTER OUR WORLD.
SO WON'T YOU HELP US...
>> BLOW UP THE HISTORIC WINFIELD THEATER.
( APPLAUSE ).
>> Stephen: YEAH.
YOU GOT TO FOLLOW THROUGH.
>> YEAH, SOMETIMES YOU -- >> Stephen: YOU TRY--
SOMETIMES YOU TRY AND YOU MAKE A MISTAKE, YOU KNOW, AND YOU HAVE
TO FIX IT.
>> Stephen: I KNOW WHAT CAN HAPPEN.
>> Stephen: WHILE WE HAD HIM HERE, WE DECIDED TO RECORD THE
NEXT YEAR'S AS WELL.
HELLO, I'M STEPHEN COLBERT.
>> AND I'M MICHAEL SHANNON.
>> Stephen: GREAT NEWS.
YOUR GENEROSITY ALLOWED US TO DYNAMITE THE CRAP OUT OF THE
HISTORIC HAUNTED WINFIELD THEATER.
>> THE PORTAL IS FINALLY CLOSED, AND NOW WE'RE LEARNING TO DWELL
AMONG THE GHOSTS THAT ESCAPED.
>> Stephen: TURNS OUT THESE GHOSTS HAVE
DESIRES LIKE THE REST OF US...
TO LIVE, TO WORK, TO WANDER THE STREET IN VICTORIAN NIGHTGOWNS,
MUTTERING SECRETS TO A PORCELAIN DOLL.
>> BUT MOST OF ALL, THEY DESIRE LOVE, AND SOME OF US HAVE FALLEN
IN LOVE WITH THEM.
>> Stephen: WHICH IS WHY WE WANT THE RIGHT TO MARRY THEM.
>> WE ALREADY HAVE SEX WITH THE GHOSTS, SO YOU MAY AS WELL LET
US MARRY THEM!
>> SO, PLEASE, WHEN YOU GO TO THE BALLOT, VOTE "YES" ON PROP
6, TO LEGALIZE GHOST MARRIAGE.
( APPLAUSE ).
>> Stephen: IT'S TIME.
IT'S TIME.
>> TIME.
IT'S THE 21st CENTURY FOR PETE'S SAKE.
>> I KNOW.
I KNOW.
WHEREVER LOVE EXISTS, HOWEVER LOVE EXISTS.
>> Stephen: WE CELEBRATE.
AND WHILE WE WERE AT IT, WE RECORDED THE NEXT YEAR'S, TOO.
>> HI, I'M STEPHEN COLBERT.
>> AND I'M MICHAEL SHANNON.
>> HAS YOUR GHOST SPOUSE DIVORCED YOU AND TAKEN
EVERYTHING?
>> YOU SAID "TILL DEATH DO US PART" BUT THEY WERE ALREADY
DEAD.
>> Stephen: AND NOW THEY'VE LEFT YOU AND GET GUNN BACK TO
THEIR VENTRILOQUIST DUMMY.
>> I LOVE YOU SAID, MR. DOMINGO.
>> Stephen: YOU NEED THE LAW OFFICES OF COLBERT AND SHANNON,
GHOST ATTORNEYS AT LAW, CALL US AT 19 NN-BOOOO-9.
>> LET YOUREX KNOW JUST BECAUSE THEY'RE TRANSPARENT DOESN'T MEAN
YOU WON'T SEE THEM IN COURT.
>> Stephen: YOU'RE A GOOD MAN, MICHAEL SHANNON.
THANK YOU SO MUCH.