-Republicans are standing by President Trump,
even after major election losses
and bombshell testimony
and, now, they're calling Democrats dumb.
For more on this, it's time for "A Closer Look."
[ Suspenseful theme plays ] [ Cheering and applause ]
Donald Trump is nothing,
if not a pioneer of the English language.
You might think he's just making up words
or doesn't know how to read, but that is not the case.
You see, Trump doesn't make errors.
He makes discoveries.
He's like a scholar.
[ Laughter ] Spends all night scouring
obscure, 15th-century medieval texts,
looking for previously unknown words.
[as Trump] Eureka! I found it!
Lawmakers used to be called...
-Lawmarkers.
[ Laughter ] -And, recently, recently,
Dr. Trump has made yet another
[ Laughter ] profound linguistic discovery.
He's invented a new, powerful word
that he loves so much, he's now used it twice
at two different rallies in the span of one week.
-First, they engineered the Russia hoax.
That was a total hoax.
The single greatest lies
ever foistered
[ Laughter ] upon the American people.
Then, it was Mueller.
Remember Mueller, with that hoax?
[ Crowd booing ]
The biggest lie ever foistered
[ Laughter ] upon the American people.
-That's right, foistered.
[ Laughter ] He sounds like Daffy Duck
trying to say "faster."
[as Daffy] Foister, foister!
[ Laughter ] The Democrats are after us!
[ Cheering and applause ] Trump is surrounded,
surrounded by so many sycophants that no one was willing
to tell him foistered is not a word,
[ Laughter ] so he used it twice.
Soon, his underlings are gonna to start using it, too.
[as official] This administration is moving
foister and foister [ Laughter ]
than any administration in history,
but we're being stonewalled by Democratic lawmarkers!
[ Laughter ]
Trump's not the only linguistic genius in the GOP this week.
GOP Senator Lindsey Graham went on Fox News twice
to talk about the impeachment inquiry.
Now, Graham was asked about testimony
from one of Trump's handpicked ambassadors,
a guy named Gordon Sondland,
who donated $1 million to Trump's inaugural committee.
This week, Sondland admitted that there was a quid pro quo
to get Ukraine to investigate the company
that employed Joe Biden's son Hunter Biden.
That company was called Burisma,
and, yet, Graham couldn't pronounce
either the name Burisma or the name Sondland.
-There was concern that the prosecutor was getting
too close to Hunter Biden,
that people from Bearmoosa, whatever the name
[ Laughter ] of the company,
a conversation with Sunderland.
Now, here's a question:
Why did Sunderland change his testimony?
Was there a connection between Sunderland
and Democratic operatives on the committee?
It makes me incredil-- incredibly suspicious.
Why did Sunderland change his mind?
-You think he's in cahoots with the Democrats?
You're not even in cahoots with your own mouth.
[ Laughter ] Trump and Graham sound like
two guys leavin' a bar at 4:00 am,
arguing who should dive home.
[as Trump] Give me the keys.
You're too foistered to drive.
[as Graham] No. Why? No. Why?
We need a r-- I'll call Sunderland.
[ Laughter and applause ] He'll pick us up
in his Chevy Buhroozmuh.
[ Laughter ]
Also, verbal slipups aside,
you think one of Trump's handpicked ambassadors,
a guy who, again, gave him $1 million to his campaign,
is in cahoots with the Democrats?
These guys are such paranoid freaks,
they're gonna start accusing everyone of bein' against them.
[as Trump] Who's the whistleblower?
Is it you, Rudy?
What's that around your neck?
[as Giuliani] Oh, no! Oh, no!
I thought this was my lucky necklace!
[ Laughter ]
And, yet, despite the fact that these guys can barely get
two-syllable words out of their own mouths,
they're actually accusing Democrats of being stupid.
Last night, during Trump's rally in Louisiana,
Senator John Kennedy
brought up the impeachment inquiry and said this...
-And you know what our Democrats friends have done for him?!
[ Crowd shouting ]
Speaker Nancy Pelosi is trying to impeach him!
[ Booing ]
I don't mean any disrespect,
but it must suck to be that dumb!
[ Laughter ] -I think you did mean
some disrespect.
I'm sorry, she's dumb?
You don't get to call anyone dumb
when you sound like a cross
between Gomer Pyle and Foghorn Leghorn.
[ Laughter and applause ] [ Scat sings as Kennedy ]
[ Cheering and applause ] [ Continues scat singing ]
[ Cheering ] I mean, again,
I don't how can you be so judgmental.
The dude you're standing next to thinks foistered is a real word
[ Laughter ] and can't even spell
his own name. That's real.
[ Laughter ]
That is from a tweet Trump wrote himself.
You know how you get points on your SATs
just for writing down your name?
Trump would be the first student in history
to get a score back that said, "Maybe college isn't for you."
[ Laughter ] That same Kennedy's
also defended Trump during the impeachment inquiry
by saying that, even if there was a quid pro quo with Ukraine,
Trump didn't intend to break any laws.
Kennedy said in an interview, "To me, it all turns
on intent motive.
Did the president have a culpable state of mind?
Based on the evidence that I see,
that I've been allowed to see, the president does not
have a culpable state of mind." [ Laughter ]
That's because he doesn't have any state of mind.
[ Laughter ] His mind is empty.
If Trump took a meditation class and the instructor said,
"First, begin by clearing your mind,"
Trump would immediately shout...
[as Trump] Done. I did it. Mind cleared.
[ Laughter ] Empty head cavern.
So these guys think there's a shadowy conspiracy
against them and they think Democrats are dumb
for pursuing impeachment,
despite the fact that a majority of Americans support it.
In fact, these guys are so out of touch with reality that,
when House Speaker Nancy Pelosi
first announced the impeachment inquiry in November,
Trump himself argued that it would actually be good for him.
-I just heard that she'd like to impeach
and, I mean, if she does that,
they all say that's a positive for me, from the election.
-Oh, do they all say that?
[ Laughter ] When you say they, do you mean
your other personalities? [ Fresh laughter ]
[as Trump] Scared Trump says it's bad.
Sassy Trump says it's good
and Nerdy Trump says bazinga.
[ Laughter ]
So Trump said impeachment would actually be good
for him politically and, yet, on Tuesday,
Republicans saw major losses in Virginia;
and Kentucky, where a Democrat won the governor's race
in a state Trump won by 30 points.
Now, to be clear, Kentucky's incumbent Republican governor,
Matt Bevin, was one of the most
unpopular governors in the country.
He fought with teachers and tried to gut Medicaid.
Overturned an executive order restoring felon voting rights
and he tried to implement work requirements
for Medicaid recipients.
And I would just like to say, if we're gonna start
instituting work requirements for federal programs,
maybe we should start with the presidency.
I mean, Trump is always golfing. [ Laughter ]
He never works. He's like that friend everyone has
who's always posting photos from exotic locations,
but when you ask him what he does for a living, he's like,
"Uh, well, I'm workin' on an app that tells you
which Starbucks has the best bathrooms.
[ Laughter ] Yeah, it's called --
it's called Starbutts.
[ Laughter and applause ]
So Bevin's defeat -- [ Applause ]
Bevin's defeat was a rejection, not just of Trump,
but of the GOP agenda on issues like healthcare and education.
But the race was also very much about impeachment.
In fact, a source close to Trump even admitted
the GOP losses on Tuesday were a bad sign,
both for Trump's reelection campaign
and the impeachment inquiry.
-A source close to the White House told CNN
the results were totally bad.
Kentucky and Virginia signaled to the GOP
they are underestimating voter intensity against Trump
and it could be terrible for them next year.
Bad omen for impeachment.
-You guys really needed an omen
to tell you things were not looking good?
[ Laughter ] Republicans are like Ancient Egyptians
trying to predict the seasons.
"The air is cooling. What could it mean?
We must look to the stars for a sign."
[ Laughter, cheering, and applause ]
Ammit.
And, what's worse -- [ Applause ]
what's worse for Republicans
is they have no credible defense.
They're flailing. In fact, yesterday,
an MSNBC reporter caught up
to Republican Congressman Mark Meadows,
a staunch Trump ally.
Meadows was desperate to prove that Republicans
were not losing the impeachment fight.
-Hold on. We have Mark Meadows right here.
Congressman Meadows, can we talk live?
So he's walking by right now, but Republicans
are really struggling to defend
-I'll talk to you. -the president -- Okay. Great.
-We're not struggling on anything.
-Okay, so Congressman -- -So, the Republicans
are not struggling on anything.
[ Laughter ] -He's like a guy who's too proud
to admit he doesn't know how to swim.
[as Meadows] I'm not drownin'.
Do not throw me a life preserver.
I love the taste of salt water.
I think I can see my grandmother.
[ Laughter ]
Also, can we hear that clip again, with the tire screeching?
-Congressman Meadows, can we talk live?
So he's walking by right now, but Republicans
are really struggling to defend [ Tire screeches ]
[ Laughter ] the president -- Okay. Great.
-Struggling on anything. -Okay.
-And, now, [ Applause ]
[ Cheering ] even Trump's own appointees --
[ Applause ]
Trump's own appointees are admitting
there was a quid pro quo with Ukraine,
so Republicans are changing their argument again.
Yesterday, Lindsey Graham, the guy who couldn't even
pronounce the name of one of the key witnesses,
said Trump couldn't have orchestrated
a quid pro quo with Ukraine because he is too incompetent.
-What I can tell you about the Trump policy toward the Ukraine:
It was incoherent.
It depends on who you talk to.
They seem to be incapable of forming a quid pro quo.
-So they can't be criminals because they're stupid.
[ Laughter ] It is not good when your defense
is also a confession.
No version of that is good.
Either they broke the law or they're morons.
It's like if a cop pulled you over and said,
"Do you know the speed limit?"
And you responded, "Of course not.
I'm too drunk to read the sign."
[ Laughter ]
So I guess what Graham is saying is
they would have committed the crime, but they were too...
-Dumb!
[ Laughter ] -This week should put to rest
any speculation that impeachment should somehow help trump.
It should also reminds us that the GOP agenda,
on issues like healthcare, education, and voting rights,
is deeply unpopular.
I don't know what will happen in 2020,
but, so far, Trump's plans have been...
-Foistered.
[ Laughter ] -This has been "A Closer Look."
♪♪ [ Cheering and applause ]