Well,
it was nice to meet you.
Well should we make another plan?
What?
To see each other again.
Oh...
Did you think that this went well?
*denial* Yeah.
*polite* Oh.
...Really?
... Yes?
Ooooh.
Okay, well...
*empty* I'll give you a call sometime.
Okay, great.
Definitely WON'T be giving him a call sometime.
*approaches, claws out*
Well, this was pleasant.
But in the interest of saving time, I think we both know
that this isn't going to go anywhere.
I will, however, be keeping your phone number,
because for some reason, you were stupid enough
to give it to me on a coffee card that already has eight stamps on it.
*is chill and aloof*
I'd like to take you out on another date.
Sell it to me.
So...
full disclosure:
I don't think I'd like to see you again,
but I would like to change your mind
about your stance on climate change.
Would you like to get some dessert?
I think that before you continue to ask people out
you should sit down and have a serious think
about some of the decisions that you made tonight.
Your choice in venue was NOT conducive to intelligent conversation.
Neither, by the way, was the fact that you CLEARLY
tipped the waiters off to the fact that it was your birthday,
making us one of those loathsome tables
who disrupts everyone else's meals with the "happy birthday" song.
(We can all relate to this, amiright?)
Complete with percussion instruments,
and confetti
that landed in my food.
So can we do this again sometime?
Pff no
This was terrible. You need to practice.
But not with me.
Wait,
*cheaply* will you be paying?
...Yes?
Yeah I could do it.
Look,
sweetie,
the only way I'm going to see you again
is if it's in a context where you're open to sitting down with me
so that I can explain all of the things that you need to do better next time.
No one deserves to sit through what I had to sit through tonight.
... m'kay?
I would just love to see you again.
Oh no.
They've asked to see me again.
*panic ensues*
How do I say no in a way that isn't awkward,
doesn't hurt their feelings, but is still clear?
Um...
*SYSTEM ERROR*
K you're going to need to say more than "um".
I think...
*abrasive eyebrow raise*
that I will let you know.
Via text message.
At a later date.
WHAT
are you talking about?
Good day.
You just bowed.
You just...
bowed.
What are you doing? Don't just stand there!
Walk away!
Walk away RIGHT NOW.
Via...
text message?
*ERROR 404: Social skills not found.*
Well thanks for the night!
Would you...
like to do it again?
Yep! We'll get a group together. It'll be great.
Oh no actually, I meant...
just... the two of us?
Yep, the two of us,
a whole bunch of people,
we'll pack a lunch. Love it.
... No I mean like,
you and I.
*zero awareness*
You and I, couple o' mates.
catch a movie, paint the town red.
Mint.
I'd like to just go you and I,
by ourselves,
for dinner.
Oh.
*is oblivious*
Why?
... Because I'd like to date you.
Ooooooooo
Was this a date?
Would you like to go on a second date?
No. Sorry.
... Maybe take a second to think about it?
No, *you fool*.
Well, Brad. I think it's time to address the elephant in the room.
I think we both know that this wasn't the best first date ever.
BUT
I could tell that you were nervous, so
I'm willing to give you a second chance.
*mild confusion*
I wasn't nervous.
It's okay!
We can go on a second date.
I didn't even ask you.
Don't act aloof, Brad!
What do we do with our feelings?
We address them!
Don't suppress them!
*moments before date ran for the hills*
This was okay.
1) He has a great sense of humour,
1) He has a great sense of humour, 2) we share many interests,
1) He has a great sense of humour, 2) we share many interests, 3) he's not boring.
But...
why did he insist on having his shirt
half tucked-in and half tucked-out for this date?
Who would do that?
That's gotta be a red flag.
I love how he's got this cool half-tucked-in, half-tucked-out shirt look going.
It wasn't a great date but he seems interesting and unique.
I like that.
Ah, what the heck.
(Famous last words) Sure, I'd love to see you again.
So that was great.
We should do it again some time!
Absolutely.
I'll give you a call?
Great.
(If I can fit you in amongst the other 15 people I'm dating)
Why did I agree to that?
Now I'm going to have to go on another date with him before I can turn him down.
Unless
I send him a message?
No, but that's mean.
Although it was only one date.
I shouldn't feel bad about messaging him to say no to a second date.
*inner gasp*
Maybe I could block him!
On all social media accounts!
No, but then I'd live in fear that he'd make a new account
and message me, blaming me and calling me a horrible person.
Maybe it's not too late to chase him down the street.
(The creator of this video does not suggest this approach)
Thanks for meeting me.
*I don't know where I find the energy to date so many people.*
Can we do this again soon?
Oh.
Nah.
I'm good.
Thanks though.
(the healthy detachment we all yearn to have)
Okay,
it's the end of the date, he's in the bathroom,
this is the perfect time to remind yourself, Abigail,
*of this lesson you most definitely will not listen to.*
you do not want to go on a second date.
Just do it.
Rip the bandaid off.
Be clear.
No people-pleasing.
Okay.
So,
you wanna do this again some time?
You bet I do, ya cheeky boy!
*immediately regrets*
"Why am I like this?"