Chester Bennington was best known as the lead singer of Linkin Park. Despite his rock stardom,
he struggled with drug abuse, alcoholism, and deepening depression for many years.
This is what the final 12 months of his life were like.
At the start of the 2000s, Linkin Park dominated radio airwaves and had their music videos
played relentlessly on MTV. Their popularity spread worldwide as they became one of the
most significant nu metal bands of the time. For as much praise as they received, though,
they also faced backlash from metal purists and some critics for certain aspects of their sound.
In a 2016 interview with Metal Hammer, Bennington tried to defend Linkin Park
from metal fans who questioned the integrity of their style and claimed they were nothing more
than a boy band with guitars. He didn't take the criticism lightly as he said,
"I think that's really funny - just those words,
'the integrity of metal.' In my opinion we actually kept metal alive."
That sentiment predictably angered metal fans.
Bennington's bandmate, Mike Shinoda, tried to clear up what Bennington meant by tweeting,
"He basically said that pop music was ruling the world, and we made
a case for (commercially) viable heavy music."
The following month, Bennington reportedly suffered a three-day
relapse and blacked out from drinking alcohol, though he did manage to recover.
In December 2017, TMZ reported that Bennington had attempted to kill himself in November 2016.
At the time of the 2016 attempt, he had a change of heart and decided not to go through with it.
Information about this incident was originally redacted from the autopsy report due to
Bennington's widow Talinda wanting to keep the details private. Her lawyer,
Ed McPherson, was able to omit the information due to marital privilege, which was debated as a
suitable reason for redaction until ultimately being agreed on by the coroner's lawyer.
Warning signs about Bennington's mental health would become more prevalent over time,
including his struggles with depression and battles with alcoholism.
With every documented attempt to kill himself, he consumed
large amounts of alcohol while depressed. In a February 2017 interview with KIIS-FM,
he discussed the importance of keeping busy and spending time with loved ones. As he put it,
"If I'm not actively like getting out of myself and being with other people, like, being a dad,
being a husband, being a bandmate, like being a friend, helping someone out,
like- If I'm out of myself, then I'm great. If I'm inside all the time, I'm horrible, I'm a mess."
"This place right here, this skull between my ears, that is a bad neighborhood, and I am-
I should not be in there alone."
In December 2016, Bennington joined some of his friends from other popular rock bands
by playing shows on the East Coast as the all-star lineup known as "Kings of Chaos."
After a series of warmup shows in Las Vegas, they were scheduled to play in New Jersey and
then finish up in New York. Along with Bennington, the lineup consisted of Guns N' Roses' Matt Sorum,
Cheap Trick's Robin Zander, ZZ Top's Billy Gibbons,
and Stone Temple Pilots' Robert DeLeo. The band was a source of happiness for Bennington,
as it brought him back to the days when he played music for the joy of it. He told Vegas Seven,
"Being in Kings of Chaos brings me back to my early days in bands when I was doing it for fun.
We don't have any originals. So how about we play covers of songs we love?"
Sorum, who was the creative force behind the band, said,
"Kings of Chaos always delivers a badass lineup, and this tour will not disappoint.
Where can you hear some of the most iconic songs in rock history packed into one show,
performed by the actual artists who created them? Every night is a celebration of rock and roll."
After his time with Kings of Chaos, Bennington didn't take long to team up
with another band that brought him back to his early love of music. In February 2017,
he reunited with Grey Daze, a grunge band from Arizona he sang for before joining Linkin Park.
He made the announcement on Instagram as he explained how he wanted to revisit and
re-record tracks from their first two albums using better technology and more funding.
After Bennington's passing, the remaining members of Grey
Daze pushed ahead with the new album. They also released an open letter that stated,
"We all wanted to fulfill Chester's dream of people hearing Grey Daze music as he always
envisioned it. The fact that we got to retrack and rewrite the music around his vocals was an amazing
experience. This is what our good friend wanted. He wanted the music to feel fresh and relevant,
so people who knew his music but not his original band, could relate to it."
Bennington was good friends with Chris Cornell, lead singer of the bands Soundgarden and
Audioslave. In May 2017, Cornell took his own life, and Bennington paid tribute to
him by singing at his memorial service. When Bennington passed away, there ended up being
a couple of strange connections between the two singers' deaths. Both of them hanged themselves,
and Bennington took his own life on what would have been Cornell's 53rd birthday.
In an interview with Radio.com, Mike Shinoda spoke about the impact that
Cornell's death had on Bennington. As he put it,
"When we were doing a sound check Chester couldn't even make it through the song,
he was getting halfway through and getting choked up. And even when we did play the whole song,
and it was live on TV, or taped for film for TV, he kind of just stopped
like towards the end like he missed the last couple lines, just couldn't finish the song."
"Fans were crying in the audience. And it was- I think it was cathartic. I think it was good."
Back in September 2016, Bennington showed up in a video to update fans
on the progress of Linkin Park's upcoming seventh studio album,
One More Light, their follow-up to 2014's The Hunting Party.
"We've done some really great stuff in here. The songs are amazing.
I'm really proud of what we've accomplished in the studio so far. We've got a lot of great material."
One More Light arrived in May 2017, and it would ultimately be the band's last album
with Bennington. It marked a huge departure for them. The Hunting Party had featured contributions
from other rock artists like Helmet's Page Hamilton, System Of A Down's Daron Malakian, and
Rage Against The Machine's Tom Morello. One More Light, however, wasn't as concerned with being a
purely rock album. It instead featured a lineup of collaborators with more of a pop background.
The lyrical content served as an ominous glimpse into Bennington's struggles with depression.
For example, his lyrics for the song "Heavy" were eerily similar to what he'd been expressing in
interviews during the last year of his life. Notably, the chorus featured the line,
"If I just let go, I'd be set free."
In a February 2017 interview with KIIS-FM, he revealed
"I have a hard time with life, sometimes. Sometimes it's great, but a lot of times for me,
it's really hard [...] Even when it's good, I just am uncomfortable all the time... The opening line,
'I don't like my mind right now' - like, that is me 24 hours a day. And if I get stuck in here,
like, I just find life really hard. It doesn't have to be."
One More Light received mixed reactions from fans and critics. As Kerrang noted,
"Some relished the chance to dish out pithy takedowns, suggesting the album 'makes Ed
Sheeran sound like Extreme Noise Terror.' Others accused the band of opportunism,
suggesting they were '[chasing] the trend of pop-EDM.'"
Bennington's friend Sean Dowdell, the drummer of Grey Daze,
told Blabbermouth that the singer didn't take the reviews well. As he put it,
"I'm gonna say a few things here. It may not be very popular, but it's the truth. And not
that I wanna bring the Linkin Park guys into the conversation, but I think they would agree with
this. When they did the One More Light album, it wasn't received the way they thought it
was gonna be received, or at least the way Chester thought it was gonna be received,
and he got a lot of negativity from fans, and it really bothered him."
He added,
"And we talked about that a lot. He would just be so bummed out and he would blast people on
Twitter, and he would get upset. And I would tell him: 'Dude, don't let these people bring you down.
It's not worth it. The music is good, man. Don't worry about this kind of crap.'"
In an interview with Music Week, Bennington stood by the band's pop direction as he said,
"I don't care. If you like the music,
fantastic. If you don't like it, that's your opinion too. Fantastic."
He added, with a laugh at the end,
"If you’re saying we’re doing what we’re doing for a commercial or monetary reason,
trying to make success out of some formula… then stab yourself in the face!"
Bennington frequently brought up his struggles with depression in interviews
during the final year of his life. While speaking with Bild in May 2017, he said,
"Clinical depression is something that you actually can't get out of. You need to see
a doctor. You have to get medicated for it. You need to go to therapy. There's like things you
need to do in order to get out of it or else you won't and you're just in it. It's not like, 'Oh,
man. I don't like that. I'm just bummed.' It's like, 'I don't want to do anything.
And I don't feel like doing anything. And I don't like anything. There's no sunshine.'"
He also spoke about his mental struggles with KIIS-FM in February of that year, as he noted,
"I don't know if anyone out there can relate but I have a hard time with life [...] When I'm
in [my head], my whole life gets thrown off. I don't say nice things to myself.
There's another Chester in there that wants to take me down [...] I drive myself nuts,
like actually thinking that like all these are real problems,
like all the stuff that's going in here is actually just- I'm doing this to myself."
"No matter how I'm feeling, like, I always find myself like struggling with certain
patterns of beha- I find myself like stuck."
On July 6, 2017, Linkin Park played their last show with Bennington at the Barclaycard Arena
in Birmingham, England. They performed 26 songs as thousands of fans showed up.
Hundreds of them recorded footage of the show on their phones, not knowing that it
would be Bennington's final performance. He appeared to truly be in the zone and at peace.
During the concert, there was an intimate moment between Bennington and his audience. He got off
the stage and walked up to the thousands of starstruck fans. While singing the song "One
More Light," he even held some fans' hands. Some of them embraced him, while others watched with
glowing eyes. Bennington was noticeably emotional during the song, which was performed as a tribute
to his friend Chris Cornell. At the end of the show, Bennington was the last to leave the stage.
On July 20, 2017, Bennington took his own life. He had been on vacation with his
wife Talinda when he told her that he was going back home to film a TV commercial.
Talinda later described how nothing seemed wrong with her husband, as she told CNN,
"This was not a time where any of our family suspected this to happen, which is terrifying,
you know, cause it could happen at any moment, with those thoughts."
"He was at his best before he passed."
Despite his mental health struggles, Bennington appeared to be looking forward to the future
during his final days. For example, he'd sent some positive text messages to Robert DeLeo,
who he'd previously played with in Stone Temple Pilots.
And he'd also emailed Matt Sorum to say that he'd like to perform with Kings of Chaos again.
That unfortunately didn't happen, but the music that Bennington did put out lives on,
and hopefully the visibility of his example will inspire others who are struggling to get help.
If you or anyone you know is having suicidal thoughts,
please call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255).