Probably not.
- Can I get 10 copies? - Put them on the pile.
No, they're for Arthur. I need them like, 15 minutes ago.
So if you wouldn't mind...
You're the toilet paper guy.
Wait. Who's that? - That's April.
Yes. I am, in fact, the toilet paper guy,
but feel free to call me the bagel-and-coffee guy.
Or Todd in Accounting calls me Crystal, which I'm pretty sure is a girl's name.
- How many copies? - Ten. Please.
- These? - Yeah, both of those.
What made you become a Bill Clinton supporter?
I'm not. This is a money gig. I get paid 12 an hour,
which is better than babysitting, which is what I've been doing way too much of.
You're a Democrat, right?
Why does everyone have to be a Democrat or a Republican?
I'm struggling with the copy machine.
No, hold on. You're an Independent, aren't you?
I am nothing. Why am I obligated to be something?
Why do I have to have an opinion about everything anyway?
I mean, really, what do I know about missile systems
or Social Security, or the tax code?
What about civil rights or women's rights?
A woman's right to do what she wants with her body? What about that?
I do what I want with my body.
That's apathetic.
- I'm not apathetic. - Yes, you are.
I'm not. I just know that these bozos you're working for,
they don't care about anything more than their own ambitions.
That's absolutely not true.
You think this guy, Bill Clinton, is gonna make a huge difference?
- I do. - He's gonna do what's already inevitable.
- Okay, that's where you're wrong. - Don't make me staple your head!
You're wrong. He's gonna make a difference with African Americans.
He's gonna make a difference with women. He gets women.
- My God. - I mean, look at his record in Arkansas.
Read his plans on health care. Read his plans on education.
- Okay, or don't. You know, yeah. - Oh, my God, I'm sorry.
- Yeah, I'm sorry. - I just fell asleep.
- I'm really sorry. - Yeah. That's fine.
Wake up to a new America.
- I believe you. - This has been really interesting.
- Fine. You convinced me. You're nothing. - I'm nothing.
So I'm here to repeat in front of all of you...
Hey! Listen up! Look up, everybody!
Yes, I was Bill Clinton's lover for 12 years.
Hey, somebody turn it up.
For the past two years, I have lied to the press about our relationship to protect him.
The truth is, I loved him.
Now he tells me to deny it.
Well, I'm sick of all of the deceit, and I'm sick of all of the lies.
Well, you're right about one thing. He certainly gets women.
- This has been fun. Yeah. - Bye, toilet paper guy.