this is a film about identity and
accepting what i look like in a world of
unrealistic beauty standards
as i'm getting older i've noticed that
i'm starting to lose my hair
what yeah so this is that story
[Music]
this might not make a whole lot of sense
to a lot of you
that's okay i'm doing this for me as a
way to sort of
deal with an inner demon this is an
insecurity of mine that i have lost
far too much mental energy on and i just
want to move on with my life
you might see me as having a full head
of hair but
my hairline is very much receding i see
my hair thinning
i see more and more of my hairs falling
out in the shower and with the genetics
that i've got
the amount of bald men in my family i
know that
at some point in my life probably in the
not so far future
i am going to be bald let me give a
little bit of context
as to why i'm doing this i just ran my
hands through my hair just you know the
last 60 seconds
and that's a lot of hair that has come
out i started to notice my hairline
receding a little over a year ago
at first to be honest with you it was
complete shock i
guess i never thought i would start
losing my hair this early on in my life
i just figured it would happen maybe in
my 30s or 40s or later on in life
to be honest i have not always had the
most positive
self-image and this quickly sparked
fears that go a little bit deeper than
just
losing dead skin cells from the top of
my head it has
more to do with being seen as
unattractive especially by the other sex
by women
and maybe a fear of
ending up alone or not being desirable
i guess it sounds a little bit vain to
say some of these things but it's true
and it also represents this sort of slow
inevitable approach of death i know
these are
really heavy topics that i'm invoking
here
i want this to ultimately be a fun
video in a sense because i don't want to
take myself so seriously but i'm just
being honest about where i'm coming from
here this has been a heavy topic for me
now over the course of last year
especially during periods where i've had
quite frankly too much time with my own
thoughts
i have become a little bit
obsessive on the subject in a sense it's
the first time
in my life where nature is happening
in such a way that i cannot control
and i have this sort of personality of
being action-oriented solution-oriented
of wanting to fix problems as they arise
and this is something that i can't
really fix
and so as such i feel like i've gone
into these very exhausting sort of
cyclical whirring cycles of ruminations
i want to become free of this insecurity
welcome to my bathroom the moment of
truth has arrived i'm enlisting
the help of my friend ricky
i'm nervous for you a little bit i was
doing
totally fine until this morning and
since this morning my heart has been
pounding out of my chest
i need to just do this i need to
demystify this the time has come
what am i doing
i know i'm not the only one i know that
there are millions of men around the
world
that struggled with this as well this is
the 1500s
peasant especially the one girl on the
side yeah i live in germany
in 1612. this is looking good though
like i mean
this is looking good i'm lacking the
materials to do this properly
this is looking god-awful so far
oh my god all right continue let's go
you're placing the hair on my shoulder
i know there are solutions out there and
they are improving with time
but still as of today all solutions out
there have their drawbacks
most of them are either expensive or
painful
and sometimes there are negative side
effects like permanent impotence that
sort of represent a a very high price to
pay a price that i'm not willing to be
so you just want to leave this section
here yeah that's ronaldo from the world
cup
this is probably the worst haircut i've
gotten
ever in my life i would never shame any
man
for getting surgery or looking into or
taking any of these
potential solutions and who knows maybe
i will down the road it's hard to say
things can change but i'm coming at all
of this
from a different angle i don't even want
to consider this a problem
in the first place i don't want to feel
like i have to fix
something about myself i don't want to
go through life feeling like i'm hiding
i don't want to apologize for who i am i
don't want
to conform to somebody else's idea of
what i should look like
i'm not interested in doing any of those
[Music]
things
wow tan line
alert so it's been a day i gave myself
24 hours to sort of reflect on things
take some time to myself
either we did not do a super good job
shaving or
it has started growing very quickly
because i feel like it has
already grown since yesterday it's
getting darker up here to be completely
honest
this was liberating for me i definitely
feel
a weight lifted um i feel like
it really was not anywhere near as big a
deal as i thought in my head
i feel really good about having done
this instead of letting
the thoughts in my head keep going and
keep going and feeding themselves
so what i'm going to do now is call some
friends and family to get their
reactions on my new cut
i'm going to start with my mom
what do you think what do you think
what do i think oh you look great you
have the most gorgeous eyes
thanks oh my lord
wow what do you think oh my goodness
kind of cool what the [ __ ]
oh my god
are you kidding me i feel like a camera
yeah you kidding me yeah no no hiding
the bald head
just just i'm sick of worrying about it
i got so sick of worrying about it
honestly it was nowhere near as big a
deal as i thought i feel pretty
decent about it honestly
okay so it has been a couple of weeks
now and
the look is starting to grow on me my
conclusions are that
this whole experiment this whole
challenge that i put myself through has
helped me go from worrying about this
a lot to not worrying about it very much
anymore like
i'm over it facing it like this made me
realize that it's not a big deal
i just needed to see it to demystify
this
and now i feel like i can move on i can
grow my hair back out and enjoy it while
i've got it but
when i lose it which is is going to
happen again because of my dna
it is what it is like and this is this
is a look that i can live with
it turns out people don't really care
what's on my head um
and talk is cheap but some people told
me that i look like i
just got out of prison and some people
told me i look like a psychologist like
everybody's gonna have an opinion and
that's just life what matters is that i
feel good about how i look and i can go
back to more important things like
learning about
and enjoying life as much as i possibly
can while i'm here
what did i do to deserve this i can't i
honestly can't really believe this
country
absolutely nobody here it doesn't matter
how you look
own it baby life is short when life
gives you lemons make that lemonade
this video is sponsored by audible which
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i think it's an important audiobook as
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bill gates does a great job of creating
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the things that we need to be talking
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this is a topic that is really important
to me i don't have the answers but i'm
i'm trying to learn as much as i
possibly can and audible is helping me
do that audible is the
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i like listening to audiobooks before i
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since it's audio i don't have to be
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nathaniel drew or text nathaniel drew to
500-500
the link as always is going to be in the
description so
check it out thank you to audible for
sponsoring this video and thank you for
watching
and i'll see you guys soon that tan line
is not going away
you