-Let's get to some news here. Big news out of Washington.
Today, Supreme Court Justice Anthony Kennedy announced
he's retiring, which means President Trump will pick
his replacement.
When asked which judge he'll choose, Trump said,
[ As Trump ] "Either Adam Levine or Blake Shelton.
[ Laughter ]
They're both a little edgy, for different reasons."
[ Light laughter ]
[ Normal voice ] After 30 years on the bench,
Kennedy is retiring from the Supreme Court.
He's 81 years old, so he's going to go from sitting around
in a robe all day to sitting around in a robe all day.
So it's going to be very difficult,
but he'll figure it out.
[ Cheers and applause ]
So after Kennedy announced his retirement, Donald Trump Jr.
sent a tweet, and this is real. It said, "OMG!
Just when you thought this week couldn't get more lit...
I give you Anthony Kennedy's retirement from #SCOTUS."
Everyone who read that was like, well, the word "lit" is ruined.
So now what are we going to do, think of a new word?
Some more political news -- Earlier today, Trump spoke to
a group of young people at the White House.
At one point, he talked to them about NASA.
Take a look.
-If you don't what you're doing, find something else.
If you don't love NASA, if you don't love space,
do something else.
And for the people that do, get over there and be with
the space cadets, right?
[ Laughter ]
As soon as he said, "If you don't love what you're doing,
find something else," half the room cleared out.
They go, "Oh, well, I'm out of here
if that's the choice."
[ Applause ]
Get this, it's rumored that Trump might attend
the World Cup Final in Russia on July 15th.
if he does, he'll spend the whole time hoping that he
and Vladimir Putin get shown on the kiss cam.
He's like, [ As Trump ] "Oh, no!
I can't believe this! I can't believe what we have
to do. I mean, what are we supposed to do?
I don't know.
[ Laughter ]
I'm so embarrassed."
[ Normal voice ] Speaking of Trump, he's in a twitter feud
with Harley-Davidson since they announced that they're moving
some jobs overseas.
When people heard Trump was feuding with Harley-Davidson,
they just assumed it was another porn star.
And you go, "No, no. The motorcycle.
The motorcycle."
[ Applause ]
Some entertainment news -- The new cast of
"The Bachelor in Paradise" was just announced.
When ABC asked them if they could take off work
for six weeks for filming, they were like,
"Oh, we don't have jobs. What?
We'll be there tomorrow."
You guys see this? Oprah made a cameo in
this week's episode of "The Handmaid's Tale."
And this was fun. By the end of the show,
all the handmaids had new cars. -Really?
Yeah. No spoilers, but it was really interesting.
Guys, as you all know, it is Pride Month,
and last weekend was the big Pride Parade here
in New York.
[ Cheers and applause ]
And celebrations are still happening to honor
the LGBTQ community.
Here to talk about it right now are "Tonight Show"
correspondents Julio Torres and Patti Harrison.
Welcome, guys. Thank you for being here.
[ Cheers and applause ]
Thank you for being here. -Hi, Jimmy.
Thank you for having us. -Yes, and Happy Pride.
-Oh, Happy Pride. [ Cheers and applause ]
Happy pride to you both. So tell me, did you guys go to
the parade this past weekend? -Well, yes, Jimmy.
But as two powerful queers. we've heard a lot of complaints
from straight people asking, why are there only Gay Pride parades
and not Straight Pride parades? -Really?
-And you know what? They've got a point.
So we've taken it upon ourselves to organize the first official
Straight Pride parade. -Wait a second.
Straight Pride parade? -Yes, but we don't know
straight culture that well, and we wanted to bounce
some ideas off you first. -Yes, because, well,
no offense, but you're the straightest guy we know.
[ Laughter ]
-None taken, yeah.
-So here are ideas for possible floats in
the Straight Pride parade. -Okay, these are possible floats
for the Straight Pride parade. Here we go.
-Yes. Okay. So, what about a salute
to polo shirts one size too big?
[ Laughter ]
-That's interesting.
I didn't realize they could make a float out of that,
but that's good. -Yeah, we checked and they can.
-Oh, okay.
-We were also thinking, a man and a woman on a date
where the woman's method of flirting is just that
she lightly smacks his arm and says, "Stop."
[ Laughter ]
-Very interesting idea for a float.
-Okay, or how about a dinner party where the women
offer to clear the table, the men stay seated,
and no one is disturbed? -Okay. Interesting.
[ Applause ]
Interesting, but it sounds a little bit too specific.
But I see where going. -Or what about two guys posing
in a picture together, and they are both pointing to each other
in the picture to, I guess, keep track of who all
is in the picture. -Okay, yeah, all right, okay.
[ Laughter ]
I could see that, maybe. -Or maybe, a couple having sex
in the dark. Did you know that
straight people turn off the lights when they're having sex?
And the woman actually keeps her bra on.
-That's not true. That's not -- all right.
One more. What have you got, Patti?
-For sure. I got this.
Just imagine coming down Fifth Avenue, a float
that is someone karaoke-ing "Come On, Eileen,"
while the next person in line to sing submits
their song request to the deejay and it is also
"Come On, Eileen."
-That's fantastic. That's a good idea.
Julio Torres and Patti Harrison, everybody!
I like those ideas.
[ Cheers and applause ]
Thank you so much. I like those ideas.
Make those floats out of that, why not?
[ Cheers and applause ]
Stop.
[ Laughter ]
I read that a group of shareholders at Facebook
might be plotting to get rid of Mark Zuckerberg.
And their plan would be way more likely to work
if Mark wasn't spying on them, using Facebook.
So, I mean --
[ Laughter ]
And finally, this is very exciting.
NASCAR legend Dale Earnhardt Jr. is my guest on the show tonight!
[ Cheers and applause ]
He recently retired from racing.
Now he's just the most terrifying Uber driver
you could get. You guys, we have a great show tonight.
Give it up for The Roots!