I'm a period genie.
I took my own virginity and nearly started my period at the same time,
but obviously then didn't start till I was 14. Yeah, yeah.
But it's fine, cos I already had big tits.
Hear my story, Rosie. Go on.
Imagine me, 11-years-old, adorable.
Curly, blonde hair, big blue eyes. Cute. But, tragically,
hasn't started my period yet.
Which is fine, eleven's fine to not be started. That's normal.
There's something in the waters in the town I'm from, Fleet, Hampshire,
where all the girls start bleeding very early. Oh!
Or say they're bleeding early, even though they're not bleeding...
They said it, yeah. ..cos I lied, as well.
We were all bleeding. Yeah.
But I wasn't and I wanted to join the bleeding gang. Yeah.
Cos they're cooler, they're more fun, they've got the stripes. Yeah.
I want in.
I find a tampon, I want to try it out, I want to be prepared.
Where did you...? Stole it from my mum.
And I know I could accommodate a tampon,
cos I could accommodate a TRESemme paddle brush handle.
Did you?!
We've all tested what we can accommodate.
Not the bristle part?
No! No, no, no. I wasn't a freak, come on, now.
Just the other end of the hair brush.
I borrowed them from my mum and she's already had three kids,
so they were, like, super, super lady tampons. No.
But I thought, you know what?
I don't know this yet, I'm living my life.
I want to try one out so when it starts, I'm prepared. Yeah.
I don't want to go through the pad phase.
Yeah. So, I got a tampon.
And I whacked it in the driest vagina ever. Oh, no!
Please, keep picturing this. Oh, ow.
It wasn't comfortable and it really hurt. Yeah!
So, I pulled it out really fast, just to get it over with. Oh!
But, at the same time... Yeah. ..I started bleeding.
Obviously I broke my hymen. Oh, God!
But for me, I was like, "I am the queen of everything." Yeah.
I have made myself start my own period,
by willing it on with power of the mind.
You're like a period genie.
I'm a period genie.
I took my own virginity and then nearly started my period
at the same time, but obviously then didn't start till I was 14.
Yeah. But it's fine, cos I already had big tits.
We are so alike, cos I broke my own hymen, too.
On what? Pencil case. Were the pencils still in it or...?
Yeah, one was. One was!
And then when you took it out? Blood. Blood. Everywhere.
Tell me about your bleeding vagina, Rosie. Share your story.
Right, I was at work one day
and all the ladies
were talking about menstrual cups. Yeah.
They were like, "It's eco-friendly..." Yeah.
.."it saves the environment." I was like, "Right, I'm doing this.
"I'm cupping it, all the way." Yeah.
Have never wanted a period more. Yes.
Dear God, make me bleed.
He answered. God is good.
God is good.
Popped out to Boots.
Just to be clear, you're bleeding all around the shop?
No! Yeah, yeah. Bleeding, but very smug.
And... That's what everyone loves to see, a smug bleeding woman.
Yes, please, I'll take her home.
Which size did you go for?
I think I went diddy.
A. Cos it is... Tight as. I've heard rumours, the circuit all knows.
..it's all true. Apparently it's a pencil case size and that's it.
Got back to work, went to the toilet.
I would hope so.
I brought one just in case.
Oh, and you're keeping it in the perfect place.
To get it in, you've got to do this,
with, like, origami folds. Yes.
I just could not do it. No!
And it was slipping and sliding.
I was in there for, like, 20 minutes.
Did a colleague come to look for you? Yeah.
"Rosie? Are you all right?"
"Yeah, yeah, I'm, um, having a poo."
But you could have just said, "I'm having a cry."
And I finally folded it and, like, wedged it.
Bit like a doorstop. Yeah, yeah.
But it wasn't, like, open, ready to collect.
No, only ajar.
So, someone said a joke and I laughed.
Did the pressure...?
Pop!
It's just lying in my knickers
and I thought, "I need to get it out."
So, I wiggled back to the toilet...
After you'd been in there for 40 minutes total, having a poo
and then you go back. ..never use a cup if you've got cerebral palsy!
Yeah! Lesson learned!
We've got a lot in common. We're both single.
Single, big tits... Thank you.
..we both broke our own hymens.
We could be, like, twins.
Like, I'm Danny DeVito. And I'm Arnold Schwarzenegger.
Shall we do it?
I just feel like it would be a hard explanation for people when they go like,
You guys are twins. What are you similar, like?"
And it's like, "Oh, the same thing about us, we both took our own virginity."
Yeah. It's going to be an awkward conversation piece. Great film, though.
Thank God for that.