Today is a special day, because not only are we talking about marriage,
but we’re also talking about money. Specifically, how to manage money in a marriage.
And regardless if you’re about to get married, newly married,
or have been married for a while I believe you’ll find value in this
conversation as I share 8 tips to help you manage money in a marriage.
So if that is of interest to you, then let’s kick things off with my first tips:
Give yourselves a financial checkup.
There are so many couples that avoid talking about money both before marriage
and within marriage. And having a lack of communication around this is risky.
So it’s vital to both the health of your relationship and finances that you talk about it.
Get to know each other’s financial situation,
such as how much debt you each have, credit cards, your spending habits—including what kinds
of things you both indulge in. This also includes your financial goals, mistakes, and expectations.
To bring some transparency to this conversation my wife and I openly discussed our finances early on.
In fact, we signed up for and took financial peace university together after a year of dating. I mean
we’re not playing around with getting our finances under control well in advance of marriage.
So a word to the wise, give yourselves a financial checkup.
Getting a good grasp of your partner’s spending habits and financial picture
will help you make decisions around how to manage your money after you get married.
Combine your finances.
Now there are many different ways you can approach money management, however, we believe you should
combine your finances when you’re married. Not only does it simplify how you manage your money
but it also allows you to move towards your goals jointly and keep each other accountable. Plus it
opens a whole new line of communication within your relationship that’s really important to have.
So if you were to ask me,
a married man, this is what I’d say. However, you do have the right to do what you want to do.
Create a budget you both can live by.
Budgeting is a must if you want to manage your money properly regardless if you’re
married or single, I’m sure that’s something we all can agree on. However,
when you are married and I can say this from experience, it’s
important that the budget you create together is one you both can live by.
So how do you do this? Well, it starts by sitting down together, every month and talking about how
much combined income you make and writing out exactly how you want to spend every dollar.
When you take the time to do this, it’s also important that you allow each other
to have equal say in where the money goes. So talk about it, listen to each other,
and make a final decision together.
Now in the months leading up to our wedding, my wife and I also discussed how we wanted to handle
budgeting for fun money. So what we do in our marriage, is we have one joint account that we
share. Then we each have a fun money account that we budget a small allowance towards for
each of us. Doing this has allowed us to not only stay focused on our money goals jointly
but also not neglect the fact that it’s nice you have a few extra dollars every month that we can
do whatever we want with without disrupting the big picture and the goals we set to accomplish.
Have a financial date.
Now in addition to sitting down together every month to write out our budget.
We also set time aside to have financial date nights like we do traditional date nights.
All this means is having additional money conversations outside of the budget reviews
and budget creations. So we tend to talk about future financial decisions
and goals and expectations. We also dream together and create
visions and then backtrack to see what we need to do today to get there later.
I mean we really have fun and get into the conversations. And
we’ve found that doing these financial date nights has helped us stay on the same page financially,
and continue to be that accountability partner for the other person as well as life partners.
Live off one income.
The same way it’s encouraged in the financial space,
to live below your means, it’s also a smart idea to live off of one income if you can.
You see, most couples live their lives in a way that requires both of their
incomes in order to cover their expenses. And this comes with a
ton of stress especially if one person gets laid off and loses their income altogether.
Now I get it if you currently can’t do this, but if you can find a way to adjust your habits
and lifestyle, without dipping below the poverty line, then I highly encourage it.
This method ensures you are always saving for your future because all of your expenses are paid
from one partner’s paycheck and then you can save and invest 100% of the other partner’s paycheck.
Keep purchases out in the open.
Deceit and unfaithfulness are crucial things to avoid in any relationship,
especially a marriage. And to be honest this action doesn’t always involve
cheating. It also extends out to how you manage your money and your shared financial goals.
If you open a credit card behind your partner's back or a separate bank account
or you try to hide purchases you're making,
that’s deceitful. You’re being unfaithful financially within your relationship.
So it’s an absolute must that you’re open and honest about all things money
in your marriage so you don’t lose financial trust within each other.
Because once trust is gone it’s extremely hard to rebuild.
Don’t let salary differences come between you.
For most couples, one person probably makes more money than the other. And
regardless of how much each of you make, it’s really important
that you continue to do money together and view the entire pot as “our money.”
The last thing you want to do, if you’re the one who makes more, is start to think you have
leverage over your spouse—all because you have a few extra digits on your paycheck.
The opposite is true if you’re the one who makes less or stays at home.
You might feel like you don’t have any leverage to speak up about the
budget or where money should go. But you do. You both do.
You see, when you work together and make decisions together it will be a game-changer for your money
and your marriage. There’s no reason to hold a higher income over the other person's head.
You’re a team and you have to remember that.
Change the pronouns you use.
When you get married everything goes from I and mine to we and ours and
it’s important that you act and move together especially when it comes to managing money.
Funny story for you. A few months before we got married. My wife, Alexius was already calling
me her husband and using pronouns like we and ours in conversation with others. And I would
always tease her about how we’re not married yet and she’s already calling me her husband.
But fast forward to today, as I look back at those moments, and laugh because at the time they were
funny. I now view them as preparation for our new reality. Because the moment we said I do,
our lives changed. And everything we once knew as I and mine became we and ours.
I hope you found value in this conversation and if there was anything at all that really
resonated with you comment below so we can continue this conversation.
Keep growing, keep learning and always stay true to you.
I’ll see you in the next one.
Peace!