okay actual letters from actual viewers they write in we try to answer them if we can
uh what brand of soap do you use lalane bulala manila philippines well uh it's a good question
the kind of thing i hardly ever think about i don't really i'm not partial to dave oh like
all right dave is that a soapboard dave like ivory yeah dave something like that david
excuse me david yes alan calter our sponsor yes alan what can i do for you i just wanted
to take this opportunity to mention uh my favorite brand of soap i'm sorry you want to mention your
i have a favorite brand of soap irish spring irish spray irish spring you know is uh it's
soothing it's rich lather leaves my skin feeling fresh and revitalized and clean as a whistle
now what you know alan that sounded like a commercial what was that oh no
no i was i i i don't know what you're talking about there no
i'll plug your damn soap on the show oh sweet mercy oh i'll do whatever you say
irish spring ask for it by name back to you dave thank you very much alan
he was he was beaten by pixies or something are those pixies or leprechauns i don't know
he denies it though he says nothing happened no nothing happened at all uh letter number
two dear dave i was wondering uh how you unwind after each show carol edwards richmond
virginia uh well that's also a good question and it's tough because i put every ounce of my energy
each and every night in here to entertain america and paul and i thank you really
what are your reasons branson is not branson and and and and paul and i really knock ourselves out
here every night pretending to have a good time and so when you get home i you know what i do i
like to read you know what's fun to read is the the new york times you read the new york times
oh it's uh i like it because it's a good bargain for uh the price you pay for it and but boy have
they had a lot of trouble uh you know they make up stories they had that the 27 year old reporter
who would just lie about stuff and then the phony bylines and he'd say he'd be in one place and
he'd be in another place he'd just lie and make stuff up and then everything they got all hot and
bothered and they fired the guy and then a lot of people had to quit and so the the new york times
really is in shambles right now have you seen the commercials they're running oh they have a
commercial now yes here's what i did last night i was very busy at home watching tv i i t voted then
i taped it yes then i brought it in all right hi i'd like to start getting home delivery of the new
york times if you call now you'll save 50 off the regular home delivery price then get the stories
affecting your life both real and fabricated the times helps me escape from today's world
like a comic book reading real newspapers is hard man do they love making up crap for new york times
uh hey dave do you use the turn signals of bob muer in detroit michigan
this is a question about cars from the motor city how about that yeah
and of course i use turn signals bob but but if you want more concrete proof as to the
importance of safe driving measures take a look at this public service announcement from the aaa
hi we here at aaa believe that a safe driver is a good driver
so always be sure to signal when making turns changing lanes and entering or exiting highways
also remember to signal three to four seconds before you change lanes so other drivers will
have time to react lastly always remember to keep your eyes on the road as you never know
is this never enough
uh hey dave how about getting a recipe contest started with martha stewart as the judge
uh thank you susan hazard hassard valley center california well this is
an interesting question as well i think they've all been pretty good tonight
martha stewart as you know has had an awfully difficult week
but ladies and gentlemen to her credit guess what she's here tonight please welcome martha stewart
thank you very much for being here martha you look lovely as always i can't tell you how sorry i was
to hear that you've been indicted ain't no thing uh-huh not the first time i've been in the hole
won't be the last i see well that's certainly a good attitude i guess and and i wasn't aware
it looks like you're already in prison i didn't know that yeah i decided to go in early i don't
want to get this monkey boxes going around well you're sure not going to get it in prison now
the charges if i understand this correctly are that you profited from
inside information is that what it is oh crap that reminds me give me your cell oh here you go
it's me listen put 15 large on the spurs that's right the nets are going to take a dive
yes i'm sure i got a call from commissioner stern you know what i mean hey
thanks a lot
becky don't even smoke whatever yeah now uh martha i want to ask you what is what is prison life like
for you well dave it's a lot like being in bridgehampton
right what up bridgehampton east hampton in effect
what are you talking about what are you talking about they talk like that
so uh martha uh by the way i like how you're trimming your beard it's nice thank you uh did
do you think oh my god are you bleeding what is that look out what happened oh
the other women must have shivered me for luck
you girls like me you really like me okay that's fine martha do you have any final words
for us are we still on for my conjugal visit the weekend of the 27th yeah i'll be there my friend
good enough arthur stewart lady president bush either pardon me or i spill my guts about it
you