Hey guys, welcome back thanks for joining me for another video. I am really excited about this topic because you know, I love talking about
relationships I love talking about especially abusive relationships emotionally abusive narcissistically abusive relationships because I
Just think that we're not taught this stuff growing up and because we're not taught the stuff growing up. There's like this like
Lack of knowledge within us that when we go out into the world
we don't realize who we're going up against so I just feel like if you have this arsenal of
information and you really understand this stuff and
Also, you're working on your own self your own wounds, right?
Because those are things they're always causing you to stay stuck in abusive relationships, etc
So it's always important to work on ourselves first
but I think once you kind of know this information and you go out in the world and you see at first hand, oh
I'm seeing someone who's emotionally abusing me
I'm I'm witnessing someone trying to use manipulation on me right now
Once you spot it, then you can like choose how you want to handle situations. So that's kind of like
Self-help, you know 101 right there is understand this stuff
So when you see it
You can then tackle how you want to approach it and you know your approach towards handling these different types of situations
Like I said starts with yourself and your own wound so healing that stuff is really important
but I want to get into the types of people that
Narcissists are attracted to because I think oftentimes the myth is a narcissist is attracted to like a weak person. Um
someone with you know, poor boundaries and things of that sort and they definitely are I mean
It's just like a lion if the Lions gonna smell a weaker, prey or a fearful prey
they're gonna pounce right and this is kind of no different but there's also another person that a narcissist is very
Much attracted to for two reasons and that is the strong-willed person
So they're also attracted to people that are
You know highly motivated strong-willed
Smart intelligent because if I can actually hook you in then that who make me feel so good inside
so it's one thing to get you know to hook in a week or pry but it's another thing to actually hook in someone who
Deep down I know is a very educated smart
Compassionate loving person, right? So if I can get you that's actually like a double dose of supply versus someone else
That's a little weaker
Yeah
I might get like a little high off that and it'll make me feel good inside
to kind of
destroy that person but it's gonna make me feel even better to destroy someone or to hurt someone or to hook someone in that is
Even a greater prey than that
So the reason why a narcissist will be attracted to this type of personality is for one thing narcissistic supply, right?
We all know this so in the eyes of a narcissist, it's their ability to show this person off
So perhaps this person is very attractive. Right? And so the narcissus is drawn to them because look at this
I have the trophy wife
I have the showpiece husband that I can just display to the world all over social media that this is mine
Then on some level they also like to kind of flaunt look at all of her accomplishments
Look at all the things he's done. And of course, we're proud of our spouse, but there's nothing that really
You typically fills us up inside by being proud of our partner, right?
We're proud of them because of who they are their character. What makes them who they are
Not of all of these accomplishments that they do
whereas the narcissist is really drawn to the person because of their accomplishments now where it tends to kind of
you know flip-flop in the mind of a narcissist is
They they want the accomplishments, but they can't have too many because now you're kind of fighting with me
For I don't want to say attention, but the more the higher you go the lower I feel so you can't go too high
So you have to just be right underneath me and you can't start tiptoeing any
you know further above me because then that'll just bruised my ego and cause an injury now a narcissist is someone who is
Extremely, you know life is a game. So it's all about winning and losing so in their eyes someone that is so
intellectual smart attractive
caring loving right overall great
Person and partner to have that that they get that person as a challenge
So life's a game
like I said
So everything is a matter of winning and losing and so they look at all the things that that person is gonna be bringing to
The table and they want a piece of it now
Why do they want a piece of it? Because they want to control right? They want to control the way people view themselves
The way people view their relationship, like wow look at her
She's in a great relationship with this amazing guy and Wow, look at him
He has this like amazing wife who's so driven and such a great catch
um, but again
it can't go too far where it then begins to bruise their own ego because what happens is if if there was someone who I
Don't want to say higher than them
That's not what I mean, but someone that is achieving more or getting more or wants more for themselves
Well any other partner would look at that and be like that's amazing. That's my partner. Like that's my girlfriend. That's my wife
that's my husband and be so proud the narcissist begins to look at it like a
Competition and so they're going to immediately start wanting to kind of chip away at your self-esteem. So you
Don't go after those things so you don't apply for that job
So you don't go out and meet new friends and do new things and create new hobbies for yourself, right?
So like I've always said in many videos is emotional infused when you're an abusive relationship
There's a cycle of abuse that happens and you know
love bombing and then we begin to start to nitpick and destroy our
Victim and then we come right back into love bombing again
And it's just like the cycle and this like world when that happens
and so when the narcissist begins to feel like you know
you're really starting to step on my toes and now I feel very
Competitive with you because you are so many of these things it then reflects on to them that they're not those things
so it's almost like
now it becomes a matter of wanting to hurt this amazing partner that they were able to attract and
Destroy them now
why do they want to destroy them like always and
Being able to destroy another human being and this is very sick and twisted on a psychological level
It makes that person feel important. So if I am able to chip away at you in tear you down
Then I feel good about myself. I number one
That means that I matter because I was able to get to you and number two
You're not even at my level anymore and you're now way beneath me. And so now you're not even person
I'm attracted to and that's usually when a discard happens now another reason why
narcissus will tend to be attracted to this type of person is because this person
you know because they're such an amazing human being or an amazing person and people look at them in a certain way it gives that
narcissist that hi
but where it begins to hurt a narcissist is when like I said previously
When all the attention is being put on their partner and the attention is not getting put on themselves
So it's almost like the narcissist wants this person because this person is mirroring
everything that they're not and they want a piece of it, right because energy is just
Attracted to energy so even someone who's narcissistic is going to be drawn to someone on a certain level
But the reason why they're drawn on to them is for their own ego of reasons now most often
When someone when a narcissist is drawn to someone for those reasons, right this person has a great career
They're famous people think that they're amazing
Right, and so they're drawn to this person then they realize like whoa
Whoa, you're actually like too good and you're like almost showing me up in a way now
You're showing me all the things that I'm not because you are this amazing person
And so they'll kind of get rid of that person
They'll move on to someone else and usually the person they move on to next is the person that thinks that they walk on water
right
This is the trophy husband or the husband that just completely I don't want to say adores in a bad way
Or like a trophy wife, right someone that adores them to the point where they themselves
Don't honor what they think how they feel they don't have boundaries
They're just very very very codependent on this narcissist
Right and they have now put this person up on a pedestal
And they are aware that they are beneath this narcissus in some way
so now the problem with this is so the narcissist goes from one person write this like
Driven career focused everyone likes you. You're a very good person
Cetera and they don't like that anymore because now you're going toe-to-toe with me and I don't like the way that makes me feel
To someone that I don't know say is beneath them, but just that very very codependent
Person, right. This is the trophy wife
this is the husband that just like
completely and utterly adores
Their wife to the point where they themselves don't have any thoughts and opinions
and just everything is whatever you is a yes dear kind of a person constantly throughout the day and then that
Narcissus is not going to be attracted to that person either because they live in a world of very unrealistic
Expectations on their partner they live in a world where the grass is always greener
So and they're a very emotionally immature. So because of that childlike mentality, it's almost like okay
I got a new toy I played with it. I'm bored
and now I want to move on and get another toy because I'm
Constantly trying to get a high off of other people
So people in my life are not I don't have relationships like a normal healthy person. I am someone who is severely insecure
So such low self-esteem and self-worth
Living strictly on that ego and because of that I need to feel a high and the high needs to come from external validation
So it needs to come from my spouse, but at a certain point because I'm emotionally immature
I'm gonna get bored very easily and I'm gonna want to move on to something else. So remember these relationships are always about control
it's an it's also about feeding into that in our cystic ego and
Giving that person what they need and even when you when they do get it from the person, right?
I've now found the person that thinks I'm amazing too much of the same thing for them is
boring and unacceptable so they get bored very easily and they want to move on to someone else or
Focus their attention on something else so they can get that high because that's always what they're looking for
Is that a narcissistic supply that next boost of what's gonna make me feel good?
So if it's not gonna be the partner and then maybe then they put it on their children and they're a narrow
Complement if it's not the children, maybe it's okay. Here's the house we have here's the car that we have
here's what's going on with my job and it's all these different facets of
Basically validation that they're important that they matter because their self-esteem is so low. So I hope you have enjoyed this video
It was a little longer than I wanted. I thought this is going to be a quick one
Um, but I hope you have enjoyed it
If you did, don't forget to give it a thumbs up and don't forget to hit the subscribe button down below
I'll see you next week