How can positive parenting encourage personal development? There's a bonus in
this episode right at the end. In another video which you can queue up to watch
right after this one. Just click on that link right up there. We talked about the
importance of positive parenting. And we set up a little bit of a comparison
between what? Positive parenting isn't and what positive parenting really is. So,
make sure you watch that video as well. Positive parenting is consistent with
everything we know about healthy child development. This is one area that has
been replicated so many times in the research and in the clinical literature.
I was first exposed to this back in graduate school like a hundred years ago.
When they shared with us that the research points to 2 factors that are
essential for children to be well-adjusted and stable and healthy.
Those 2 factors are love... What's your job as a parent? To love them no matter
what and even if. Love and discipline. They use different words sometimes to
describe these two things. Sometimes it's warmth and structure. But whatever
they're calling it, it comes down to those 2 factors. Positive parenting is
all about emphasizing the importance of love and discipline. As you understand
what positive parenting is all about, it has everything to do with healthy
personal development for your kids. I promised you a bonus in the teaser. What
if this video is about your own personal development? How does positive parenting
affect your personal development? We already know that it benefits the kids. It
is damaging to you when you see yourself approaching this most important job in
the world with to any level of negativity. It hurts you.
Why? Because you're a benevolent, generous loving parent. Will you connect with that,
please? You are a benevolent, generous loving parent. And for you to see
yourself losing your cool or being very negative or doing things that you
personally don't even agree with, you just have weaknesses in those areas. It
hurts you. Forget for a minute about how it hurts your kids. That's very important.
But we're focusing on you now. How does this impact your personal development? I
got to attend a training several months ago with Dr. Bessel van der Kolk.
He's one of the founders of certain types of therapies that are being used
to help people overcome trauma. Many of the traumas that people
experience happened in their childhood. Unfortunately some of those traumas were
perpetrated by their parents. Because of negative patterns that came up. That
obviously has an impact on these children. When I think about my job to
assist the children of this world, my mind and thoughts come right back to you.
It's kind of like there's a biblical story that talks about an exhortation to
feed my sheep. And to me that sounds a little bit like feed my shepherds.
Because if we can take care of the Shepherd's, we're going to feed a whole lot
more sheep. You are the Shepherd's of these little
sheep. You are the parents of the children of this world. And we are
renting this world from our children. Because when we leave they have to deal
with whatever we did to this planet. These kids have to have the most
effective kind of positive parenting that we can offer them and it's good for
you to provide that. When you connect to your identity as a benevolent, generous
loving parent who has been entrusted with the care of our next generation,
that's a pretty big deal. You must be a pretty important person.
I think you are. Let's go back to your own self concept for just a minute. How
do you see yourself? You know, I had a mom in my office just last week. And I asked
her, "Are you a good mom or not?" She was a little taken aback by
that question and and she wasn't sure exactly how to answer. So, I asked again,
"Are you a good mom or not?" Her mind immediately went to all of the
weaknesses. The times that she yelled at her kids. The times when she failed to
show up in the way that she really would like to as a mom. And she answered me, "No,
No, I'm really not." How did you answer that? This is an important answer because
however you answer that question is how you are going to show up for your
children. Positive parenting affects your personal development because it changes
how you show up for your kids. That's profound. And that has an impact
on their development. Going back to this conference that I told you about with
Dr. van der Kolk. He said the very best thing that we can do to stem the tide of
negativity, suicide, trauma, addiction that our kids are going through; the very best
thing we can do is to help parents to do a better job with their kids. I'm also
really sensitive to the fact that you are doing the best that you know how to
do with what you already know with what you already have. Continue to do that. Do
the best that you know how to do. And when you know better, do better. I got
that from Maya Angelou. "When you know better, do better." The fact that you're
here watching these videos tells me that you're a conscious, positive parent.
That's good not only for your children but for you as well. I want you to know
sincerely that I appreciate you. The good person that you are, the difference that
you're making in our world by being a positive parent. Because you're not only
their parent, you are their best education for how to become a parent. If
that feels a little daunting we've got your back. Will you please
click on the link in the description for the free parenting breakthrough call. A
member of our team we'll get right on the call with you. It might even be me.
Sign up for that free call. Let's team up together to make a difference in
positive parenting.